Why does my girlfriend of three years seem annoyed when i show her affection?

We live together (3 years) and have a son 20 months old. anyway when i show her affection (hugs, kisses) she seems annoyed. She had a nasty divorce and was treated badly and the husband ended up with full custody of her kids and there are some other issues going on right now that i wont explain that have been causing her stress. She also sleeps i the family room right next to our room 80 percent of the time lately. Is this all cause she needs space righ now or somethin i m missing. we do stuff together and she buys me nice things that i appreciate but her wanting to sleep in the other room makes me feel otherwise? any of you women or guys have any input. thanks

20 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    she loves u very much.it seems that she has some kind of pressure,she has lots of tension.its your duty as a husband to take her in confidence.tell her that u r with her at every step of her life.tell her that if she has any kind of tension its not her tension its our tension and we jointly try to find out the solution.don't try to persuade your wife for sleeping with u.just give her your support,love and confidence.with your help whenever she normal ,she will be ready to sleep with u in the same room without saying anything to her.this is love nothing else.

  • 1 decade ago

    You're in a tough spot. I sympathize with your situation. There could be a number of reasons for the distance. You mentioned one--her being afraid of being hurt again. The risk and fear to her of getting close to anyone is stronger than the desire of your companionship. We males can thank some of our male friends for this common problem. Some guy's treat women like dirt. However, with that said, a lot of women, and I mean a lot, want the exitement of a risk taker kind of guy, the kind of guy that will hurt a woman, but she is attracted to him anyway, so the nice guy's get left behind. The nice guy's tend to be a little more boring, or at least to the women, they are. The "nice guys" may not consider themselves boring at all, as they (myself included) have outside interests that are exciting, but not necessarily to the woman in your life.

    You need to have a frank discussion with her as to where she sits on these issues. With that knowledge you will then be able to make a more informed choice. However, with a child, you will always be connected in some way until the child is 18. Bottom line, based on the information you gave,since you are not

    married, keep in touch with the kid, but lose the relationship. Even if she has a good reason for the distance, it will most likely not be good enough.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Could she be upset about something? Lots of times when a woman is upset she will not feel like being intimate or affectionate. How they feel about their sig other mentally has a lot to do with how sexually active and physically affectionate they are.

    If I were you I'd just ask bluntly: Is there anything you are upset about? Why are you sleeping in the other room instead of with me?

    If you get a straight answer as to why, maybe you can work it out, if she says 'nothing's wrong' or plays weird mind games with you over it then you know what you are dealing with and can decide if you want to be with someone who sends you mixed signals.

  • 1 decade ago

    She's quite obviously not happy, but about what, who knows?

    Whether or not the issue is with you, you should let her know that you are very aware that she is unhappy.

    My advice, talk to her. Ask her whats bothering her. Ask if there's anything you can do or perhaps something you should stop doing... Acting turned off to someones affection is pretty serious and a big RED LIGHT in my opinion.

    Until you talk to her it will probably only get worse.

    Good luck

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Seems as though she may have serious issues concerning trust.

    You might want to consider making an appointment with a counselor for yourself and asking how to cope..and what you can do to reassure the unreassurable that you love her.

    There are lots of ways you can prove to her without saying a word that you respect her..care for her well being...etc.

  • 1 decade ago

    Have you tried talking to her about it. Communication is the key to any relationship so trying asking her whats wrong. And if she can't open up and tell you then just try to be as understanding as you can. If you have never been able to communicate with each other effectively then I hate to tell you this but it was never meant to be in the first place. The major component in any relationship is chemistry which means you have to know your woman. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    sounds more like a phase that she needs to go through. doesn't make it any easier on you though, sorry. but i'd suggest giving her her space. she clearly has a lot of unresolved issues to get through. just make sure that she knows that you are there for her if and when needed. or even offer to get her into counseling.

  • 1 decade ago

    She needs her space! Just be supportive of her! Let her show you affection when she's ready! You really should talk to her about this! Communication is important in relationships!

  • 1 decade ago

    She still might be going though changes from having her son.Some people thinks that woman go though changes after the baby but you can still go though a lot of thing 2yrs. after the baby.Give her time and love and be there to talk to her and maybe ask her.

  • 1 decade ago

    Actually, me and my boyfriend of 5 years sleep in separate rooms 90% of the time, but he snores LOUD, and I kick and steal blankets. We get better sleep when it's separate. Something to think about.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.