Lala asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Is this person on some b.s., selfish, ungrateful or none of the above?

Thanksgiving I made an effort to fly my sis & nephew to NY from L.A. They wanted to be with family & cant afford it so I offered to pay for it. It winded up being too "last minute" (expense & uncertain flight times) so we decide Xmas is better. I go online & find a round trip fare of $620 for them both to fly on Dec. 24 & stay til Jan. 2. My sister's response was "the return flight is no good because she starts school on Jan 2 & the return flight has to be on another day & this is why SHE SAID she wants a departure & return on "such & such date" blah blah blah" ---- WTF?? She cant miss school for ONE DAY? And she's making "preferences" when she ain't paying for shyt? So I guess I should find flights to suit her preferences & pay for it, huh??? $610 is a damn good deal for 2 round trip tickets from Cali to NY for 8-9 days, especially when someone else is paying for it. Missing 1 day of school isnt going to hurt. Does anyone think she has alot of nerve & is being ungrateful??

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think she's damn selfish!

    But maybe she just doesn't want you to pay for it?

    Or she really didn't want to come and just made an excuse!

  • 1 decade ago

    I think she should be grateful that you are willing to pay for the trip yes!

    BUT... and I speak from experience

    The first day of classes IS very important too... some courses will drop you if you do not show on the first day thus you lose the whole semester ( and that would suck)

    Now... I do not know what "tone of voice" she used when asking you to change the date, but I would think she wasn't meaning to be selfish, just asking for a date adjustment.

    And I don't think you mean to sound like you are being "controlling" because you are paying. Will it make that much of a price difference to change it by the one day?

    Grab a huge strong coffee, sit down and look at it at bit. This is not a good reason to start a family feud when all you have to do is cooperate and maybe compromise.

  • 1 decade ago

    You're being very generous by offering to pay for the trip and plan for it, but if sis is going to have such a problem with the free trip you're offering, then leave it alone. See how picky she gets when she has to finance this trip to her specifications on her own. She has a right to be concerned about school, so let her. You tried.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, but she possibly has a reason for not wanting to miss her first day of school. First impressions are everything. This isn't about her though, it's about you. If that is what you want to do, then do it. I think it would be good for your nephew and for everyone to see each other. I don't know how old your nephew is but 2 and up this will be a memorable occasion for years to come and that alone is worth it.

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  • louie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    i think you are being generous for offering to pay for her flight, but she is just letting you know that school starts and she shouldnt miss the first day of class, kinda important dont you think. if you are gonna pay for her to come, and she has to return on a certain day, then yes, be accomidating, dont say "im paying for it, you come and go when I say so." Come on, be a little more sensable here. have you looked for other days and prices, i did and found lots, cheaper than 600.

    http://www.cheapflights.com/flights/New-York-City/...

  • nyjae
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I can totally understand why you are pissed but at the same time just because you are paying for the ticket doesn't mean you dictate her schedule. if she offered to treat you to dinner does she have a right to tell you what to eat??? Loosen up and if you can not find something that fits her schedule and your budget then tell her you can not fly them in

  • 1 decade ago

    yes! i agree with you.. she should be thankful she is getting this to begin with. Offer what you have and if that doesnt 'fit' her schedule then say sorry this is it I guess you can't come.

    I have a younger sis that is the same way I GOT TIRED of always 'bailing' her out (financially) and having to feel guilty for being sucessful and having nice things. I recently started to say NO since it's not really MY obligation I was trying to be nice BUT she always takes advantage and at the end doesnt appreaciate it.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    yes they sound pretty ungrateful to me but that's how family treats you sometime, take the high road and let her know that it would be nice to spend Christmas together but this is the best you can offer. If things don't work out try it again next year.

  • 1 decade ago

    man that would piss me off she is being ungrateful and my response to that would be well since ur gunna die missing one day of school then i guess u can't go at all and tell a little lie and maybe say like well i already payed for it but i can cancel since u doin't wanna go and maybe she will get that hint that maybe she is being unfair

  • 1 decade ago

    yea, she should be kissing you a$$$$ since your that nice!!!

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