Please inform me if I am right or wrong part #2 !?

I did just that vented and sat down and discussed everything on a whole note with my husband about everything I was feeling and everything that I was going through about the lack of support I experienced today from him with the passing of my grandfather.... Yet he sat there just as plain as day with no excuse to what he did or why he did it! I felt but as small as I did when he left out the door and went to work! It was as if his insensitity is just lack a slap in the face! I am whorse till I have lost my voice not from screaming but crying my eyes red trying to get him to see where I am coming from with all of this and yet I feel like this was such a waste! I am soooooo hurt and insulted by all of this and yet I feel like he could give a good got dam about anything that I am feeling about the situation! Is there any right or wrong answer for this? Am I just making to much out of the lack of respect for me and my family! The phone hasn't stopped ringing wanting answers from my family!


I just want honest answers please because this is really hurting for me right now, and as me speak I feel like he doesn't really have a clue even though I held a conversation venting to him for a mere 4 hours in tears! This is ripping me that I feel like I am fighting for his respect!

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    My take is that there is no right or wrong answer for you. You were deeply hurt by your grandfathers passing and your husband does not know how you handle your emotional display. He went to work because that is something that he can deal with. It is way for him to cope with the situation.

    Your way to deal with your grief was to cry and vent your feelings. Tomorrow, you'll feel better and the pain will start to subside. Your husband will carry his around with him for a long time, maybe to his grave. It's not right or wrong, just different, and not what you wanted.

  • 1 decade ago

    Omigosh!! I am so sorry for your loss and wish you the best. Does he ever show emotion towards anything else? Have you guys been having problems other then this? Is this the first death you have experienced together, if it is, then he may not know what to do. Or how to handle you. Have you been married awhile or has it been a short time and he is still new to the whole thing and now the death on top of it. Ok and has he ever had anyone close to him die or anybody that he was personal with? Sometimes people don't know how to handle death because they don't really know anyone close that has passed on. Give it some time and try to be strong and handle it the best you can and see if he comes around. Just don't block him out let him in if you can. I don't know what else you can talk to him about or approach him in any other way. Try to keep your family out of your fights oh, no matter how much you want to be justified or have someone on your side, bringing the family into sometimes can only make things worse. Give him a chance and consider what I mentioned, then he may handle things totally off the wall, and will not be there for you like you think he should be and to be on the safe side, try to relax, breath and think about how upset you are and you have every reason to be and see if you coming off ok.

  • 1 decade ago

    Look at this point he clearly dose not know his roll as a husband counseling is a must for your husband because being married deaths are going to happen again. Sometimes losing someone close love ones lose it so it is very important that your spouse understands this because he may have to hold the family together while your going through the pain of the lost. You have to stress the counseling and make it clear its not a option. And as for the calls give direct them to him give up his cell phone number if you have too. Let him answer for his lack of support. Sad to say this will happens again so this definitely has to be dealt with. Don't back down on this because God forbid when and if this happens again the fact that you did not take care of this will can send you over the deep end with the next lost of a love one if he does this again.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I really cant give you an answer. I just went through a similar thing with my husband...not over nearly such a big issue or to tears. But I was very upset with a few things he said he just sat there, seeming not to care.

    So I am very sorry I have no answer or solution for you. But you are not alone, nor do you show signs of anxiety. Especially in this situation of such grief.

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  • 1 decade ago

    wow try some valium for a while it will help you get calm-need to go to a doc for them-you sound like you have tremendous anxiety=hope it works out for you

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