Please inform me if you think I am right or wrong!?
I recently got married 4 months ago, and they say with newlywedds your still to be in bliss, and I seem to be asking myself lately was I a dam fool or did I make a mistake! My grandfather passed away a little over a week ago from a heart attack, and my husband hasn't been supportive of me or my family through this time of sorrow! Today was the funeral and I went through the entire process alone and I sat there feeling and looking like a lost soul! He went to work just as any other day and showed no interest in anything to do with me or my family! My family was completely shocked when I came alone! I tried to play everyone off but again all eyes delayed back to me as if to say were is her husband? I phoned him prior to him leaving and expressed to his voice mail that I was apalled that he snuffed both my family and I! Yet he didn't seem to care what I said and went on with his day as if I was nobody! I feel so empty right now and like I am beginning to question myself totally!
I am beginning to second guess myself on did I make the right decision with this marriage.... I just don't understand his views on almost anything and to think I really love my husband! I am just so withdrawn on have I made the biggest mistake of my life!
- 1 decade agoBest Answer
First of all he should have been there i don't have to repeat what was already said, but how does he act with death in his family? If he does have a problem with death he needs help with it because in times like that he should have been there with you. I'm not going to tell you to leave him like the rest of some of these air heads have because I know he has good qualities. But it is something that needs to be addressed why people are quick to tell someone to leave their spouse over one matter is beyond me. That to me is not something you leave someone for. But don't get me wrong in no way will i sugar coat that him not being there for you is major. But knowing you it may be better if you get a third party to address that to him someone he respects that can explain to him that it is part of his duty to be there for you no matter what his hang ups my be about death. That's what I would do. I strongly believe your too upset to talk to him about this find some one you both respect or use a counselor most jobs will provide you with one through your benefits.
- quelletteLv 43 years ago
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- caliguy_30Lv 51 decade ago
I would assume your grandpa was not feeling well for a while now, and i assume you two talked eventually about him at least once in your relationship. So for him to act this way is totally wrong. Did you make a mistake in marrying him? maybe not. How is he otherwise? nice? loving? does he help around? support you with the house? let you make decisions? or is he lazy doesn't help at home and you can't do nothing right to save your life? These are the questions you SHOULD have asked yourself before you married him. I say watch, learn and decide later. and by the way. My sincere condolences for your lose. good luck.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You married someone you didn't know. Obviously... that's never a good idea. He sounds like a selfish jerk, and he embarrassed you at a time when you needed to lean on him. Well, I'd say you made a mistake marrying a man like that. Leave him if you think you should, just remember that you will never change him. I'm sure you deserve better.
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- LostLv 41 decade ago
First of all you married a selfish loser who does not care about you or how you feel I think you should not give it to him for a month so that he know and it is a good time to give him the silent treatment and let him know that what he did was wrong and uncalled for and you do not deserve this from anyone. So get up and leave him he is not worth you at all.
- 1 decade ago
It sounds like he is just a very selfish person who does not care about anyones feelings but his own..If i were u i would confront him and tell him that if he is not gonna be your partner in life and be there when you need him then those vows that he said to u at the alter where complete bull****. When u love someone when they hurt you hurt....when there happy your happy. when there down your there to help pick them up and see them through..it sounds like you got a lemon or maybe he just needs a reality check and realize what he has..and if he does not want to lose it he will straighten up.and if not your better off without him sweetie there are plenty of men that will love you out there...keep your head up honey...
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Sit him down. (if he wants to) Ask him (but don't accuse him) "Is there a reason for all this?" If he is acting out of character. There might be a good reason you didn't know about. He might be mad at you for something which you have no idea. Tell him you want to know because you want to make this work. If he does not even want to talk, then get a lawyer because it's not too late.
- jimmy.parker06Lv 51 decade ago
There could be two possibilities either he is not comfortable with death and funeral and expressing himself in such occasions, therefore avoids them. Even then he should have gone to the funeral with you. Or he is just a ruthless person, who thinks he is invincible.
- 1 decade ago
you two need to talk.i agree he should have been there for you,but think about this-did he know your grandfather-if so,how long?did his job allow him to take off for a funeral?and everybody deals with death differently.he may have not known what to do or say.that's why you need to sit and talk about it.my wifes grandfather died three years after i meet her.i went to the funeral for support but i felt wierd.and her grandmother died this year and i was there also.but i knew her for eleven years and she was a grandmother to me.anyway talk and find out what's going on and goodluck
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Maybe he's uncomfortable with funerals and things like that. Don't worry about marriage issues while you are mourning. It could cloud your judgement.