Help? I'm too obsessed?
I seriously need help. I cannot get over my obsession with my appearance. I'm 15, and it has never been this bad. Now I know it's expected for teenagers girls to worry about how they look, but I really don't think this is normal.
I probably look in the mirror around 100-150 times a day. If I see that theres nothing wrong with me, I look for things that are wrong with me. I worry about my clothes, my hair, my skin. It's starting to control my life. I'm not saying I think I'm ugly, because I don't. I'm also not saying that I have a distorted body image of myself, because I can perfectly see what's there. But I worry about looking perfect so much, and it's starting to affect other things in my life. Sometimes I feel envious of people that have eating disorders, because they loose weight so easily. I constantly diet, even though everyone says I don't need to loose anymore weight. I really wish I could just let it go, but I think about it all the time. How do I get over this obsession?
- frederic-kahlerLv 41 decade agoBest Answer
Been there, done that. One doesn't need to be a teenage girl to "get it." So, Delia, it's time for some tough love!
You are not perfect. That's a good start.
You will never be perfect. That's a rule to live by.
Your quest for perfection is delusional. Let it go.
Sylvia Plath said women looked in the mirror as a way to remind themselves that they still existed. That is your problem. If you are not perfect, you cannot exist to others.
People with eating disorders do not lose weight easily. That is an absurd statement! An enormous amount of energy, secret tricks (which is unfair to those who love you), and willpower is necessary. People with eating disorders tend to be rather miserable and isolated. Is that what you want? To be thin (or in your head, perfect) and miserable and isolated? Your diet should consist of good foods, especially clean raw fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds of all kinds. You should have a decent exercise program, either at school or by jogging or dancing. Tennis, anyone? How about a fun dance class, huh? This way, you are prepped for the rest of your life, the way you are prepping for college or adulthood.
My goodness, girl, you are 15 years old! Your hormones are messing with your mind! Do not forget that! This obsession will pass, but that is not an excuse to wallow in it. Listen to the other posters here, too. Cover the mirrors if you have to -- and no looking at your reflection in store windows. Quit looking at yourself so much. Get over yourself! You will have lovely days where everything is fine (actually, those days come when you relax and let it go). You will have pimples, dry skin, messed up hair, clothes that didn't quite go with the occasion, clothes that don't fit right (unless you are rich enough to have everything tailored), you will say and do dumb things, and you will be hurt by others for reasons that have nothing to do with you at all... That is part of the strange glory of life. You are alive when so many others never made it...
You are self-centered. Delia, this is partly justified as you head toward the rest of your life, but the level you've taken it is unnecessary and morally obnoxious. Get out of yourself. Consider the wars and famine in the world, the sickness out there. This will help you to put your own self in perspective. How does looking "just right" help the world? How does worrying about trivial things help the world?
I suggesst you check out the wikipedia web site and learn about the philosphy subject. There are many philosophers from centuries who will inspire you to think in new ways.
You need to start helping others, whether it's volunteering at a safe place once a week - every week, not just when you feel like it, or by visiting a senior citizens home or animal shelter. How about organizing a food drive for the holidays? You can do it through your school or set up a big cardboard barrel at your local market (with permission).
Your focus should be on being a part of the world, not on your looks and perfection. Do you keep a diary? Write about your feelings and jot down all the things you are thankful for. Make it a good, strong habit.
Again, Delia, your hormones and peer pressure (two things that are going to settle down over time) are influencing your worries. I should focus more on other worries: your family's happiness and strength in love, how you can make the world a better place with your heart, what it take for you to feel complete? You are loved and accepted for YOU, not for your looks or body size.
And if someone tells you otherwise, he or she is a fool.
Concentrate on positive thoughts. If you say, "I look awful today," change that to saying, "I am fabulous today! I am great! I can do anything and I am going to help the world with my positive attitude!"
As the years pass and you learn so much more about life and love and the glories of nature and science and God, this will all seem ridiculous. Get a head start on this now! Go find a butterfly or a bird and concentrate on it. Draw a picture of yourself with a great big smile and sparkles in your eyes, because it's all there already!
Frederic KahlerSource(s): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy
- 1 decade ago
Hi, honey. Firstly, i think all young people go through a phase like this, where they can't stop looking into the mirror and wanting to be perfect. I remember doing it and i remember seeing my friends always checking themselves out in the mirror. The media doesn't help when portraying 'perfect people' ....perfect hair, skin, figure. It's all just out of order. Appearances are important but NOT THAT important. Everyone wants to be accepted and most people think that they have to look perfect in order to be accepted. That's not true at all. But what exactly is 'perfect'? What does that mean? Don't lose your perspective. You know your weight is fine so you wouldn't need to become obsessed with losing any.
Do you have any hobbies and interests that you could give the same amount of attention to? Maybe if you obsessed about playing a musical instrument of dancing or creating a piece of art then you would be famous one day!
Good luck, sweetie x
- bluebirdLv 51 decade ago
well obsession or AKA obsessive compulsive is a neurosis.
It is a learned behavior therefore good news, it can be unlearned.
Sine you are not old enough to over come this on your own, suggest you consider getting help from a therapist.
This does not mean you are crazy, but you do have a negative behavior pattern that can affect you socially.
We go to see therapists to become healthy. So invest in yourself, get well and have a good life.
- j_emmansLv 61 decade ago
I hope this will pass with time, maybe it would be healthier if you focused on exercise and join a gym. While exercising you cannot look in a mirror close up - many gyms have wall mirrors for vanity but at least you get the overall image and not a close-up. Hope this helps.
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- 1 decade ago
if you have a mirror in your room, take it down. do not carry one around and reward yourself every day that you do not look int the mirror over 5 times. eat whatever you want on fridays and give yourself a break. I'm only 12 and i am not obsessing. Hope this works!Source(s): ME!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
who are your friends this could be the reason. you may be hanging around with the wrong crowd and you don't feel comfy around them.you already know this is common for teenagers but the only advise i can give is life is too short to be over obsessed in your looks yes we need to look nice but stop worrying i am sure you are beautiful get out there and enjoy live xx
- 1 decade ago
young ones go through this its called growing up if this is getting the better of you ,my advice to you is to see your GP as you could make your self ill .take a good look at your self there a lot more people worse of than you think your self lucky that you can do all the things you want to do Young ones who are in bad health & want do things with there lives & carnt.
so when you look into the mirrow just think how lucky you are & think of those who arnt so lucky & get on with your life good luck
- Ross FLv 51 decade ago
your wasting some good time of you life in mirrors (im one to talk) nobodys perfect and you r still getting used to your new body all grown from nowhere, a few more years and youll fit perfecly in your skin like cindarella when she finds her shoe.
you should be more independant of what others think and create a different style thats easy to manage, try lots til you find one what suits you .Source(s): i get the feeling you arnt going to take this advice and wake up tomorrow morning with no change at all... but good luck anyhoo!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
So many people with eating disorders probably wish they didn't have it inside
To be concerned about themselves all the time
You're lucky to be alive with the attitude you have, it's pretty pathetic
Stop looking in the mirror, even if you were a fatass *****, no-one cares.
If you eat healthy
then it's fine.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Oh my honey u are perfect!
Do not worry, I am with u, I say 100 times u r good.
Ur problem is that
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
check this links
also u are my pet. OK?Source(s): Googlinggggggggggggggg