Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Should I start dating again?

Long story short: I'm 29yrs of age, recently divorced after 7yrs and have 2 children ages 7 and 2. I work overseas for a month at a time, then I'm home for a month. I have joint custody of our children and have them for the month that I'm home. I am over my ex and I'm ready for dating, but I feel that I don't have time because I'm concerned for my children's needs and enjoy being a great father to them...So, how do I start dating again? Has anyone else had this problem?

16 Answers

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  • angel
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    there is no rush for you to start dating again, that is totally up to you , when you feel ready. GOOD for you that you are more concerned with your children right now, that is just great. Enjoy them because time does fly by so fast. Maybe you can just have friends for right now (like on myspace) GOOD LUCK

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think taking baby steps toward dating by going out to meet women through friends or social groups isn't a bad idea. It's commendable that you're concerned about the impact that it would have on your children, and since you have custody for the month that you're at home (and I'm not clear where you work when you're overseas and what the social life is like there), you will have to negotiate your social life around your childrens' lives. Ideally, I wouldn't suggest introducing any dates into your childrens' lives unless they were going to be a long term and stable part of your life, because stability for them is a big need for them.

    I've always suggested meeting people through friends and social groups (churches, hobbies, etc.). Internet dating isn't necessarily a bad idea, though I've heard mixed responses from clients who have tried this.

    Good luck to you.

    Source(s): Personal opinion, based on experience as counselor and sex therapist.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This story is quite similar to the situation that my Father went through when I was younger. My parents divorced when my sister and I were very young (almost the same ages as your two children). My father also works over seas where at times he wasn't/isn't home for three months. I can understand your concerns, though as an adult who went through the same situation I can tell you my Father was always there for the both of us.

    He started dating here and there about a year after being divorced. It took him a few years to find a woman, who understood that he did have two young children who he needed to spend time with. And to be honest looking back now being 21, neither my sister nor I thought much of it. We thought it was normal that both of our parents were dating.

    In the end my Father found a wonderful woman who loves him and both of his children, as if they were her own. They will be married this February. All I can say is find a nice balance between dating and spending time with your children.

    I hope this helps you out and eases your mind. ♥

  • 4 years ago

    ah yes i feel u completely, i got otu of a 5 yr and right off teh bat i had this girl that was already interested so i got lucky taht the timing was there (not so much anymore but thats another story)....look, what u need to do is just start talking im serious i dont care if u r just standin in line at ur local cvs n maybe the dude in front of u is cute or sumthin find something he's holding or maybe he's lookin at a magazine just mention sumthin say hi just say sumthin! yea its not always gonna come out right n u might sound like an idiot sometimes but thats just ur lack of confidence cuz u been out the loop for so long, now its time 4 u to build it back up one layer at a time, as 4 ur ex no one person is the same so forget abouyt that crap completely and just make convo with random people n always be positive it draws goofd things to you maybe not right away n it might take a while but eventually you'll get ur groove back (no pun intended haha!) :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Personal experience

    Single parent for 1 yr with a 4 yr old girl.

    age 23

    sign scorpio

    dated:People online,People from craiglist and went to a psychic for love advice..

    all of above DO NOT WORK!! or Just unlucky-

    types dated;Mamas boy,upper class,doctors,pretty boys,college students,male stripper-K long list but,don't make sense since..they all have one thing in common

    they all need to clean there own b utt lol and grow up and

    most ppl are DRAMA run like hell..

    and kids when they are young..come first than anyone else is 2nd place..

    live n learn

    young grasshopper!!

    dating sucks! welcome to the REAL WORLD!!

    and whatever you do..don't date your doctor ..

    now I'm looking for a new doctor and I wont' date a women lol

    and keep your sense of humor if you have one?

    because that keeps your sanity..

    lol

    lol

    Good Question

    star for you=

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should not force yourself to date just because. This will happen eventually and now it is best to keep on focusing on your children. that does not mean you can not go out with friends and have fun, but I think it is just not the right moment to date or find a steady girl friend. you should reflect on your marriage and learn from the mistakes so next time, when you find your other half, all will come out well.

    good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    congrats on the joint custody. if you have them one month at a time, then a night out during that time shouldn't hurt the kids. you wanna start dating, go for it. you waited a while til you felt you are ready, great. the kids are asleep at night (usually), find a babysitter and enjoy a night out. they wont lack of anything.

    Source(s): been a sinlge and dating mom.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's going to be hard for you to be a really great parent or anything else for that mater if you're lonely and not getting any.

    Life is short. If you want a girl go get one. Don't wait until your old and the good ones are all taken.

  • 1 decade ago

    Date when your overseas if possible. hangout with friends that have kids. Just have to remember that for the time being, your kids have to come first. Their going through a hard time.

  • chilly
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    you can date. it will be a challenge as you'll be sharing time and trying to meet someone who is into the idea of you being unavailable every 2nd month, but it will be fine.

    dating can be a simple as every friday night you go out and enjoy yourselves. you don't need it to take up your time with your darling children. you can shuffle it, and you can enjoy it :)

    good luck mate.

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