Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Is it REALLY possible for one to change their personality?

For example; say someone was boring, pessimistic, and lazy, quiet, shy...They had no friends and had a hard time engaging in conversations...basically their personality is crippling their life.

..with enough effort, could they change into a social, fun, outgoing, interesting person? Is that even possible, and how would they accomplish changing their personality, and maintain it?

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would like to say that while being pessimistic and lazy could be termed as faults, boring, quiet and shy are not. The same thing one group may find boring, another could find very interesting. A person that seems shy to the outside world may not be at all, just introspective. A quiet person could be a very good listener. Artists, poets, writers and composers could all be put into these categories. Could these people change? Maybe, but most probably don't want to, because they're happy in their own serenity. I do know a person who is a sociopath, which is true anti-social behavior. I believe if a person like this truly wants to change, and really works hard to change, then they can.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've come to believe that you can not change your basic personality traits. You can try to understand them and manage your life accordingly to get what you want.

    I think some of the things you mentioned are not personality traits...boring, lazy are not personality traits. They are true of all personalities. An outgoing person can be boring...they will just be loudly boring. A hyper person can be lazy...they will just spend a lot of energy doing nothing.

    I understand your question, I face the situation you are describing. I am an introvert and have a difficult time in some social situations. I fought against that for a good long time...wanting to be an extrovert because I thought only an extrovert could have fun and be happy. All personality types can be fun and happy, they will just go about it in different ways.

    So no, I feel that despite the effort, an introvert can not become an extrovert. They can however become social, fun and interesting...if they except that they will not be that way in the same way that an extroverted person will be. There is more than one way to measure these things.

    EDIT -- depression is not a personality trait. All people suffer from depression and just express it differently based on their personality.

    EDIT the EDIT -- didn't mean to say that all people suffer from depression...just that all people CAN suffer.

  • 1 decade ago

    It seems that your question assumes that changing ones personality would in some way improve ones life. Any improvement would only be superficial as the personality is only the surface level of a person's identity. It is the nature of personality to cause suffering, no matter how many "good" qualities it may have. If the point of the attempt to change the personality is to somehow reach a perceived level of happiness or contentment it is misguided. The happiness that is sought can not be found on the level of personality, one must go much deeper. Depth requires we stop trying to get better and begin to first accept who and where we are without judging and trying to get away from ourselves.

    Source(s): Life
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes! I can tell you from personal experience it is possible. I have done it. It takes commitment and determination but it can be done. First however, you must decide what looks right on you. Fun, outgoing and social doesn't fit everyone. If you try too hard, you could wind up looking awkward and foolish. You may end up with a combination such as; social, fun, still a bit pessimistic but interesting. The most important thig is to relax and be yourself.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is possible, but takes a lot of reprogramming. Getting to know yourself is probably best first step. This points out the areas that need change, and makes one a bit more interesting to be around. Getting in shape physically can have a major impact, as well as taking public speaking courses in college or something. If they have a serious problem, that may impede; but never give up hope. Especially dealing with the huge prescribe anti-depressant trend. Remember that emotional health is key here. I made that change, the long and hard way. But I did make it.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think you can completely change your personality, but I think it's possible to improve in areas necessary for having a proper conversation. First, you need to lose the fear of worrying about what everyone else thinks. When people see that you're worried about what they think, this automatically makes a possible conversation very awkward. Second, you need to be open minded about the things you are talking about...don't act like a robot in other words; speak your mind! Third, practice, practice practice. There is no substitute for practice and experience when it comes to having conversations with people. Also, it makes up for ALOT just to be a good listener. Make sure you maintain eye contact also. Well, I hope I helped you out some...goodluck!

    Source(s): I used to be shy myself, and even though I haven't completely changed my personality, I have improved in the areas necessary for successfully having conversations with people.
  • 'Personality' is like a dress you are wearing or a raincoat. It protects you and keeps away unwanted influences. The dilemma is that people are identified with their cloth, they can't change it so easily, If the outside conditions are changing, then they don't want to change their clothing and prefer to suffer if there is too much heat, etc.

    But YES, it is possible to change ones personality, the same as one can change ones clothing, even to the extend that one becomes totally naked and with this making the experience, that one is NOT that one is wearing and ones existence doesn't depend on this, but that there is something that is more essential. One might even make the experience, that one doesn't need any protection and one can live, enjoy and express ones pure being, so letting most of the problems connected with ones personality behind...

    How to reach this state of being? Ask for it, then you will find the answer, it will come to you...


  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Our behaviours are generally learned and are ingrained in us so it takes alot for someone to change. However, with a lot of work it can be done. Firstly, they need to explore why they are the way they are. Are they depressed? Anxious? Is there some other reason for their social difficulties? People can definately change but they first need to peel the layers and find out why they are like they are - a good counsellor is highly recommended.

  • 1 decade ago

    You can't change personality traits but you can change with time personality tendecies. It depends on if the person is suffering from Depression or a Mental ilness-then with medication their personality could actually change dramasticly. If the person is not mentally ill or has any other indicators of a warped personality due to some kind of cause then i'd say its rare to change personaly completly.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    sure you are able to. How long that is going to take relies upon on how lots of your self you're keen to place into the attempt. the only perplexing section is stepping back from your self sufficient that once you do get indignant, you recognize that it quite is a clue to cool down and notice issues from a larger attitude. The Buddhists call this "massive innovations". the base line is to contemplate the different individual first. Have compassion for the worries that they are having. (do no longer all of us have issues?) Dale Carnegie wrote some stable books on the situation. a thank you to Win friends and impact human beings, and the thank you to stop hectic and initiate residing. it may take a little time, yet bypass difficulty-free on your self. Have compassion for the worries you're having. you're able to do it.

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