I WROTE THIS TELL Me what u think! plz!!! ?!?!?!?!?

There was a time for being inlove and dreaming dreams and have great hopes for tomarrow. There was a time when everything was at totaly bliss, when I was compleatly happy. When there was not one care in the world but now....

but now...

sadness sweels within me, why I ask myself agian?

Why did I leave the one I love for another?

for the only thing hath come of this is utter sadness.

I hide myself behind a mask, letting everyone assume Im happy

but inside my soul is slowly dieing.

Everyday I awaken and wishing had not made this mistake.

The memory of that day I replay over and over agina

wishing for a break wishing I wasnt dreaming wishing that instead of saying hurtful things I could pull him into my arms and beg him for forgivness.

but those are only figments of hopes and dreams,

if only there was some bit of ligh shining if only I could be with him agian

for now I dont feel his lips apon my

his hands apon my flesh

his eyes gazing into mine

I do not feel love. I do not dream deams. I do not see hope.

Update:

Sry for the missspellings I just wrote this lol.

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow I like it alot! And i totally agree. This reminds me of never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There was a time for being in love and dreaming dreams and have great hopes for tomorrow. There was a time when everything was at totally bliss, when I was completely happy. When there was not one care in the world but now....

    but now...sadness sweeps within me, why I ask myself again?

    Why did I leave the one I love for another?

    for the only thing hath come of this is utter sadness.

    I hide myself behind a mask, letting everyone assume Im happy

    but inside my soul is slowly dying.

    Everyday I awaken and wishing had not made this mistake.

    The memory of that day I replay over and over again

    wishing for a break wishing I wasn’t dreaming wishing that instead of saying hurtful things I could pull him into my arms and beg him for forgiveness.

    but those are only figments of hopes and dreams,

    if only there was some bit of light shining if only I could be with him again

    for now I don’t feel his lips upon my

    his hands upon my flesh

    his eyes gazing into mine

    I do not feel love. I do not dream dreams. I do not see hope

    Source(s): It sound better now/very good we all wish it could be perfect
  • Rose
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Fufu 16 as an article in a teen age magazine or an example of the stream of consciousness writing it is great, given a bit of editing.

    However, if these are your own personal feelings being expressed then you need an immediate dose of reality.

    a) Total bliss exists only in fantasy.Even in the most idealic situation has to be grounded in reality, so if your blissful

    relationship disappears with the washing up then you're lucky that it's gone. Just look before you leap next time...which is what I think you should be doing right now.

    b)You are the first victim of the mask. Other people will not be so easily fooled. Councelling will enable you to value yourself and make you responsible for your own happiness. No proper functioning person gives over to another the task of making him/her happy. It is impossible and will always end in disillusionment which would be a healthy place for you to be in now rather than your striving to rekindle the soul destroying past and future.

    c)" I do not dream dreams etc" You have given us no evidence of any dreams save physical gratification. Fufu you are selling yourself far,far,far too short of all your other possibilities of sucesses in studies, work, other friendships, estlablishing a family, recreational activities, creative activities even a writing career.

    My wish for you, if the above is a valid reading of your personal situation, is that you stop selling yourself so far short of your potential which is limitless especially if you are still a teenager. Don't stymie your development by fruitlessly pining for a goal that will truncate your whole personality.

    Whew! This has been a bit harsh if I have misread your letter but I did fear for you.I appreciate my own happy marriage but I know both my husband and myself will go on growing as individuals even on the death of one of us and that will be healthy for each of us even if it will be difficult. Go in peace and joy.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    Oooooo. That's heavy.

    Try spell check.

    Is this a real story?

    I feel the pain all the way here. Ouch.

    Best Wishes

    .

  • 1 decade ago

    u r licky , Becasue only u may get different creativities in u r life

    Enjoi that

  • 1 decade ago

    Definitally Sweet it made me think of my boyfriend the whole time! :-)

  • 1 decade ago

    I can relate to what you have written...

    good one..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ur writing touches heart..i liked it.,its great.

  • 1 decade ago

    ooooo...goooshy! but meaningful, so therefore its good

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