We can't afford to live after paying child support, daycare and a student loan for my husband's ex-wife.

My husband just got an increase for the child support he has to pay. Plus he has to pay daycare for his kids daycare and the student loan for his exwife. After paying all of this, we are not left with enough to pay our house payment. We can't sell our home because of the market in our area. I am trying a home based business to help out but we are expecting a new baby in a couple of months and we have a little toddler. Does anyone have any suggestions?

23 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sadly, today's courts royally screw over 1 of every 2 divorcing parents in this country in the name state government profits. Ususally it's the father whose life gets ruined, but not in all cases. Sounds like the court has definitely screwed your husband. You do realize that State governments earn BILLIONS of dollars through child support agencies? It's a huge money maker. you and millions of other people are being used as pawns in this substitute for the welfare system. you can thank Bill Clinton for ruining your life.

    He SHOULD NOT have to pay for her schooling. Child support is meant for the child. Maybe the student loan obligation was a part of an alimony agreement?

    He shouldn't have to be exclusively responsible for day care either, as that should have been factored into the obligation in the first place.

    Also, your husband's child support obligation should go down slightly because having a new child reduces his gross income by $3000.00. They should have reduced his income by 3000.00 for your toddler already, but it sounds like they conveniently "overlooked" that fact.

    I STRONGLY suggest that you call your state agency and request the list of all deviations allowable by law. You then interview attorneys and go with the one who is going to FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT to be a parent to ALL your children without being financially devastated.

    You aren't supposed be used as an ATM by your ex wife.....looks like that is exactly what's happening.

  • Debra
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Does your state not have a Department of Child Support Services? I am in California and in California when someone violates a court order they are in contempt. Bring a contempt charge against this person. If she doesn't show up in court, a warrant is issue for her arrest. If she does show up in court she will have to explain why she hasn't paid and not having money is not even close to being a good excuse as her finances were explored by the court prior to the order and the court deemed her able to pay the amount. She pays or she goes to jail and, if the judge so chooses, both.

  • 1 decade ago

    In the state that I live in they go by the income of the ex only. The courts are almost always fair in going by income, bills, way of life and what not. What I mean by that is they do not look at what you bring in, so what you should do if the home base income is not working for you, find something outside of the home. If you don't want to put your child in daycare then find something on the opposite shift of your husband. We did this for the years I was getting out of College and going to Medical school. It sucked but it pays the bills. If the judgment is unfair you should have your attorney take the time to revisit the ruling, you can always go back to court.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You need to ring the child support agency and have it re-assessed.

    Child support is based on his income ( not yours). Why is he paying all this extra stuff?

    His ex should be paying for her own student loan .....and day care should come out of the child support he pays. His ex needs to step up to some responsibility here.

    You may need to consult a lawyer, to talk about your options, its not right that you have actually thought about 'selling' your own home to compensate for this.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I agree, try to get back into court and show your finances and liabilities. It may not change anything but it surely won't hurt. Does the ex have an income? why would he need to pay her student loan that is BS. also why is it they are unable to share in the daycare expenses? You may need to do some research and find a cheaper daycare and also try refinancing the loan.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he is paying child support, why does he have to pay childcare, and student loans? Perhaps he should petition the court to re-adjust his child support payments...if ya'll are friendly, maybe you could keep the children and save the child care expense?

    Do you own two cars? Sell one if you can...there are many ways to economize, go to a site that helps with ideas of how to save money.

    Perhaps rent out a room in your home? Lots of people do that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hey its a bummer for sure most states simply only look at his gross yearly income they care less what bill's and such he has and obligations its non bias its simply a money factor based on his income ..normally before they can go after a increase he has to have a 20%increase from the time it was originally set up and 3yrs..average is what most of them base the intial charge for those things...try live within your means, save energy turn lights out when u leave a room just a lot of little things really do add up..stamps are cheaper than gas...

  • 1 decade ago

    U are suppose to pay only 50% of all child expances, and if expect a new baby then the CS should be CUT acordinly. And NO ex-wife loans to pay, why would U do that???

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Im not sure how they came to the dollar figure for the increase but they are doing it based upon his/your combined income (meaning on the backend, what you can compensate for in place of his lost income) When you say you dont have enough for your housepayment you are being kind of deceptive. You have gas, lights, food, cable, misc...a whole bunch of stuff that comes with 'living'. You have NO money to redirect to your housepayment? Its a tough situation, I know. My ex went from about 800-1700 in CS over the course of our marriage to his ex. What could we do but tighten our belt? When the baby comes, you can argue for a re-evaluation of your payment based on the changed life situation but you may get one of those judges that says, 'his responsibility to this one, didnt end when he married you'.

    So...go for the home based idea, reduce the needs/luxuries in areas that you can..and be ready to go in to court again to argue for an adjustment. The new baby is going to be expensive.

    Source(s): Im going to guess that he kinds sprung this support stuff on you....mine did. My empathies..it can be way frustrating.
  • 1 decade ago

    You need to go back to court or try to go to arbitration and see if she would be willing to let you watch the kids while you stay home instead of paying out? I don't know, just a suggestion...Try to make nice, it sounds like this woman has you by the financial gonads.

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