Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles Β· 1 decade ago

telemarketers fun?

Telemarketers s*ck big time. Here are some proven ways to rid your life of these a**clowns for good...

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

30 Answers

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  • cats
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Good ones! They are pains in the neck! Funny! 200!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I'll try to remember some of these I have some one phone last night offering double glazing or conservatories.

    They just don't like taking no for an answer.

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  • 1 decade ago

    BRILLIANT! Tried these before and guess what..... they don't never ever ever phone you again.

    I have also asked them to blow hard down the phone as I have a blockage on the line and can't hear them properly some do (how thick is that)!

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  • 1 decade ago

    will be trying some of these for sure.i recently renewed my car insurance and forgot to cancel the bit were they tell you your information will be shared with other companies...my phone been inundated with all kinds of trash calls,everything from selling life insurance to kitchens!!!! thank you for the tips!!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'll be tryin No3. i usually just say "hang on a sec and ill get a pen" then just leave them. my record is 17 minutes before they hang up.

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  • or say you are a crime investigator and start asking them how long they have known so&so and say u jus found their body and that u dont believe its coinsidense they jus called asking for this person and proceed to ask very personal questions

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  • 3 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Miracle Vocal Training http://SingingLessons.fastsolut.info/?Yt4V
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  • 1 decade ago

    or easier still don't answer the phone, important people will always leave a message.

    good, like them

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  • 1 decade ago

    Brilliant! Can't wait for dinner time tonight cos that's when I get a call about dble glazing, patios, carpet cleaning etc. Roll on!!! thanks

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    im definately going to try some of these out star for you

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