patrick asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請幫忙以下這篇英文有沒有錯 3Q 20點

因為這篇寫的很急 希望有人可以幫忙看一下文法與錯字 謝謝

My name is Patrick. I was born in 1978, in Sanchong. I'm 29 years old now. People say “Working smart and playing hard” and that's how I live. And that's why I choose my two jobs before. The first one “Travel agent”, I think there is no one dosen't love traveling. But the money is always not enough or the working is always busy. So if I can learn money and go different countries at the same time. Why not? And then the second job “Flooring company”. After two years in travel agency, I felt it’s time to change, just go to see the different world, to experience something new and challenge it. In the end I’ll grow up fast and gain many things.

I love challenge、selling、money、meeting new friends、art、sport、reading and movies… so I always consider what is my next step. This time I still hope I can combine these factors together. Especially the type of commission-base job. Because my boss told me before, how many salary you get means how many efforts you put on it. I really want to know how far I can go. To prove myself.

If you interested in me and want to know me more or you have a vacancy just need someone like me, please let me know. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed and I’ll appreciate your considering.

6 Answers

Rating
  • Happy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    你的原文有很多美國人不會用的句子

    而且有些意思不太清楚

    所以我盡力替你改成美國英文

    My name is Patrick. I was born in Sanchong, 1978. Thus, I am 29 years old. I live according to the old motto “working smart and playing hard!” I chose the previous tow jobs based on this principle.

    My first job was working as a Travel Agent: almost everyone loves to travel and get paid for it. Although there was not enough money in it and I was always busy working, I could travel to different countries and earn money for doing it. After two year as a travel agent, I felt it was time for a change. I could not spend my entire life just traveling to see different parts of the world, and not to experience new things and face new challenges. At the end of the two years, I grew up fast and had a much more mature way of thinking.

    My second job was with a Flooring company. I always love new challenges: selling, making money, meeting new friends, enjoying art, playing sports, reading, and going to movies. I am constantly on the move as well as trying to decide what would be my next challenge.

    Now I am ready for my next job and am curious on how far I could go. I would consider any position, which will allow me to combine the three interests (selling, making money, meeting new friends) together. I would be most interested in a commission-based job. I remembered my old boss once told me: ”Commission-based job means that the amount of money you make is the indicator of the amount of effort you put into your job.”

    Please contact me, if you have a job vacancy and is interested in some one like me so that you could get to know more about me and I about the job. I am sure that you will not be wasting your time in talking to me. Thank you!

    2007-11-03 04:09:04 補充:

    你的自介沒有任何有關的工作積效的說明

    也沒有說出你工作的特點

    老板不只是需要知道你的工作經驗和態度

    更希望知道你的工作方法和成果

  • 1 decade ago

    感謝各位的大力幫忙 沒想到網路上這麼多熱心助人的達人

    真的每一位都太讓我感動了

    但就因為都太優秀了

    讓我不知該如何取捨

    所以就交由網友來一起決定了

    謝謝

  • 1 decade ago

    I think your english is very good .easy ,simple and straight out from your heart ,the letter is also well organized .Try to put a word or two about your second job experience .would be a plus I guess .

  • 賢弟
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    My name is Patrick. I was born in 1978、in Sanchong.建議改為:

    My name is Patrick. I was born in Sanchong on 1978.(有指定的時間要用on)

    people say.建議改為:people said.

    I think there is no one dosen't love traveling.建議改為:I think without anyone who doesn't love to traveling.

    the working is always busy. 把is刪去!

    So if I can learn money and go different countries at the same time.建議改為:So if I can earn a lot of money and go to different countries at

    same time.

    If you interested in me and want to know me more or you have a vacancy just need someone like me、please let me know. I'm sure you won’t be disappointed and I’ll appreciate your considering. 建議改為:If you made intereste for me and want to know more about me or you have a

    vacancy just need someone like to me, please notice to me for I confirmed that you wanted to make a opportunity and I 'll appreciate your considers.

    2007-11-02 04:05:13 補充:

    其實是有很多地方是需要改的,只是你所描素的這一篇內容不太清楚,又加上文法不是很正確,會讓人看起來很模糊,時態也不是很正確。嚴格說起來,如果要正確一點,三分之一需要修正。我只是把錯的比較多的地方稍微修改一下。如果可以,我幫你從翻一次,你把中文的內容給我。我的e-mail:bm780603@yahoo.com.tw

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  • 1 decade ago

    My name is Patrick. I was born in 1978, in Sanchong.

    I'm 29 years old now. People says “Working smart and playing hard” and that's how I live.

    Also, that's the reason why I had to jobs before.

    My first job was being a "Travel agent”. And bellow is the reason of why i choose to be one.

    For my understanding, I think everybody loves traveling, including me.

    Somehow, there is always short of time and the money to do so.

    So, as being a "Travel agent”, I would be able to travel around and at the time, I can earn the money.

    After two years in travel agency, I felt I need a change.

    So as for the second job, I choose working at the "Flooring company” in order to experience something new and challenge it.

    And for the result, I grow up fast and gain many things.

    As for my interests, there are so many variabilities.

    I love challenges, selling, making friends, making the money, art, sports, readling and movies.

    And also, I always take myself into the consideration of what should I do next.

    The best way to do is to find the job that has related to the interests that I mentioned above.

    However, the most interesting job that has ever enthused my is the one that related to the commission-base job.

    I remembered once of time that my former boos has told me,

    "How many salaries that you have earned mean how many efforts that you had offered."

    I just want to prove myself and to know how far can I go in my career life.

    If you interested in me and want to know me more,

    or you have a vacancy just need someone like me, please let me know.

    I’m sure you won’t be disappointed and I’ll be appreciated for your considering.

    2007-11-02 03:56:18 補充:

    對不起我發現很多打錯的 >"< 因改不了 我在這邊補一下唷

    Also, that's the reason why I had two jobs before.

    And bellow are the reasons of why i choose to be one.

    I would be able to travel around and at the same time

    2007-11-02 03:56:22 補充:

    However, the most interesting job that has ever enthused me

    how far I can go in my career life.

    or you have a vacancy that needed someone like me,

    2007-11-02 04:00:31 補充:

    I make sure that there wont be any disappointments and at the same time, I will be so appriciated for your considering.

    Source(s): 我不敢說全對 但我已盡量把我看起來覺得怪的幫你改了希望有幫到你^^
  • 1 decade ago

    My name is Patrick. I was born in 1978, in Sanchong. I'm 29 years old now. People say “Working smart and playing hard” and that's how I live. And that's why I choose my two jobs before. The first one “Travel agent”, I think there is no one dosen't love traveling. But my money is always not enough or the work is always busy. So if I can learn money and go to some different countries at the same time. Why not? And then the second job “Flooring company”. After two years in travel agency, I felt it’s time to change, just go to see the different world, to experience something new and challenge it. In the end I’ll grow up fast and learn many things.

    I love challenge、selling、money、meeting new friends、art、sport、reading and movies… so I always consider what is my next step. This time I still hope I can combine these factors together. Especially the type of commission-base job. Because my boss told me before, how many salary you get means how many efforts you put on it. I really want to know how far I can go. To prove myself.

    If you interested in me and want to know me more or you have a vacancy just need someone like me, please let me know. I’m sure you won’t be disappoint and I’ll appreciate your considering.

    我改了一下^^

    我沒很厲害

    可是還是改改^^

    Source(s):
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