Matae W asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Am I a freak?

I'm 15 years old and I feel very little emotion. I feel emotionally withdrawn and I don't feel any compassion for anyone. I still feel pleasure (e.g. It pleases me to do certain things) but I never care when said pleasures are taken away. In fact, I don't even care for my own mother. In fact, the only time I ever feel raw emotion is when I listen to music. Certain songs or melodies make me feel the happiness, love or anger in these songs. I am also very manipulative. I will coerce, bluff or lie my way into getting what I desire (nothing too bad, like I will cry and feign emotional distress when I wish to get out of doing something I don't want to do). I don't know why I am like this and I have talked to psychiatrists, all of whom failed ( I even made one cry). What are your opinions on my "problem" and do you think it is a problem?


>>sigh.... I could care less about the "ladies" as I dont really feel attracted to anyone.

>>I only said my manipulation isnt that bad so that the annoying people like the guy who put the middle finger up wouldn't slander me and I could get a real answer.

>>Im asking if im a freak because a person at school called me one and I want to know if anyone else thinks I am one too.

>>Yes I am bragging about making the person cry, it gives me a sort of a sadistic pleasure (is that an emotion?).

Update 2:

>>I meditate sometime, and It makes me more emotionless.

>>I dont play music, I can simply asorb the emotions that other people give off like a sponge. If I'm with a happy person, I will be happy as long as I am with them. I would rather have less emotions though because I feel that emotions open you up to things.

>>I do not desire sex or such things, I have rejected most if not all of my attachments.

>>I do not cut myself because I think someone here might be thinking that. I dress in normal cloths and I live a normal-ish life, but I could care less for anything in it. It might be hormonal pressure, but then why do I kids my age.

9 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are not to much different from me bro when i was your age, Iam 20 now. I am rather detached and emotionless, cold hearted if you will, but i kind of choose to be this way for reasons that cant all be explained. I wanted to be a soldier but the military would not let me because of a kidney problem. I think i would have made a good soldier and you probably would to. As far as compassion goes...the only ones i really care about is my little sister and my mom. Not so much for my brother and father. I dont care if i live or die. But i do try do be the best in everything i do. I dont believe in god and like you i get all my bottled up emotions let open through music.

    I have one answer for you. meditate. I am not talking about that hardcore buddist sh*t, just simply get to a quiet place by yourself a few times a week or every night, and just think. Think about everything, the who the why the how of yourself and your future and anything else. Music is key to us during this, just let go of your emotions. i get strength through this, both physical and mental. Hope this helps, email me if you have any other questions about this

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes you do have a problem but there is a solution. Think of emotions such as love, anger, passion and happiness as a lollypop. Now think of how you feel these emotions as your tongue. The problem is that the lollypop is not reaching the tongue, you are not feeling the feelings, if that makes any sense. You are not feeling your emotions.

    I think you are feeling some feelings though. Some truly emotionally detached would not think they have a problem, but you obviously do. And you feel a need to justify your manipulation to us by saying it's not that bad; you've just felt guilt (we all do). Firstly, manipulative people never think of themselves as manipulative people. Good, virtuous people can say their acts are manipulative and that they themselves are, but in reality they're not. Simply put, you're not by nature a

    manipulative person. Try not to manipulate people; think about what you would feel like; even though you say you don't, you do.

    If you know you should be feeling emotion, try and place a song you've listened to in that situation. That will help link emotions with certain situations.

  • 1 decade ago

    well, i know how u feel. 2 years ago, i was just like you. i cared for no one, found pleasure in nothing but a few things, and couldn't help being the way i was. for a while i thought i was depressed, but then i (like you) found joy in music. i went a year without feeling much emotion, or so i thought, until i decided to look at my life. I got noticing that i DID feel emotion, but you had to look harder than most other people. the raw fact that you do like music, and still enjoy things simply put that you can feel. other wiseu would just be a sulking shell, never talking and dont care for anything. It is a problem if you let it get to you, but instead of just knowing that u find pleasure in listening to music, or playing it, why not actually use that and play the music you like or listen to it more often.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, the pleasure and pride you take in manipulation and being emotionless could be an indication of something more serious like developing an anti-social personality disorder or psychopathy which is bad news.

    Info on anti social personality disorder here:

    I don't freak is a proper term. Even if you don't feel much emotion or care about anyone or anything, realize that others do have them and they're not meant to be trampled with or manipulated. I think you might need some intensive therapy sooner or later. You are disconnected from your emotions and should try to take steps to reconnect to them.

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  • LDB449
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You are not a freak. You are 15 and that explains a lot. So no need to beat yourself up for being normal. Enjoy being 15 and don't try to find problems where there are no problems. This is just my opinion. I am a lot older than you. Believe me I would trade places with you in a heart beat.

  • 1 decade ago

    Actually I'm suprised with the Psychiatrists you have seen they have not diognoised you with a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome you are very anti social. It doesnt make you a freak just diffrent.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like you're bragging to me, even made one cry, what a

    But seriously, I believe a lot of us have similar issues that some of us don't want to face or show to others. And in this crazy world, who knows? Your wackiness may turn women on, and isn't that what really matters to ya? eh? haha

  • 1 decade ago

    Your hormones are in turmoil, you are 15 and, as I remember, at your age I was completely serf interested. It is normal. I take it that you hate yourself, you could really do with having sex, and you play air guitar in your bedroom. Don't worry it gets better when you grow up.

  • 1 decade ago

    i personally don't think you're a 'freak'. i think it's just a stage in your life, if it keeps continuing for years to come then there might be something...but i wouldn't know what to do for that, just think happy :) lol

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