? asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

麻煩幫我修改文法~~謝

這是有關一篇求職信的內容,麻煩幫我看看~~

As you will see from my introductions, because I am young and energetic, I am full of enthusiasm in serving impatient guests and doing burdensome works. In addition to the advantages, I like children very much. I always regard them as my own brothers or sisters. It should not be a question to care the lost children. I major in business management in the school, so I understand to the operation of the amusement parks. By the way, I had a part-time job in many famous hotels on my vacations. I have advanced knowledge of Microsoft windows, excel, word and the I.E. Most importantly, I prided myself on saying foreign languages, I can speak English, Chinese, Japanese and a little Spanish, I believe that I can deal with a lot of foreign visitors easily.

Because I want to be a good manager after I graduated from school. This job can make me learn more about how to deal with crisis management and get along well with customers . I always been a quick learner. I am hereby asking you to grant me a chance for interviewing. I am also glad to work in your restaurant for a try , that will give you an opportunity to evaluate my work ability. I hope we can discuss further in the personal interview at the time when it is convenient to you.

謝謝~~

1 Answer

Rating
  • Julie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    從這篇文章中,可以看出作者的自信與能力;但是似乎稍微激進,所以我將意思改得比較委婉一點,希望有所幫助。

    As you will see from my resume, I am young, energetic, and enthusiastic in handling difficult guests and problems. Additionally, I like to get along with children. It would not be a problem for me to take care of them.

    I majored in business management, so I am aware of the operation in amusement parks. I also had part-time jobs in many famous hotels on my vacations. I am skilled in computer applications (Microsoft Windows, Excel, Word, and I.E). I can speak several languages, English, Chinese, Japanese and a little Spanish. It will be helpful to receive visitors from different countries.

    (My self-expectation is to be a good manager. This job can make me learn more about how to deal with crisis management and get along well with customers. I am hereby asking you to grant me a chance for interviewing. I am also glad to work in your restaurant for a try, that will give you an opportunity to evaluate my work ability. I hope we can discuss further in the personal interview at the time when it is convenient to you.)

    這一段我無從下手,通常求職信除了自我介紹之外,會加上對面試公司的稱讚:那個公司有什麼地方或特色讓求職者躍躍欲試。能寫出對這個公司的評價,才能看出求職者的能力。最後一段(如果我是面試者)感覺有點變成,這個公司是求職者的實驗品。

    也許我的建議嚴刻了一點,不過希望能幫上忙。

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