I, too, was touched by your sad feelings. I thought it might help you to know that there was someone in the Bible who felt very much the same way as you are feeling.
His name was Asaph. Here's what he said:
Psalm 73:1-18 (New International Reader's Version):
1 God is truly good to Israel.
He is good to those who have pure hearts.
2 But my feet had almost slipped.
I had almost tripped and fallen.
3 I saw that proud and sinful people were doing well.
And I began to long for what they had.
4 They don't have any troubles.
Their bodies are healthy and strong.
5 They don't have the problems others have.
They don't suffer as other people do.
6 Their pride is like a necklace.
They put on meanness as if it were their clothes.
7 Many sins come out of their hard and stubborn hearts.
There is no limit to their proud and evil thoughts.
8 They laugh at others and speak words of hatred.
They are proud. They warn others about the harm they can do to them.
9 They brag as if they owned heaven itself.
They talk as if they controlled the earth.
10 So people listen to them.
They lap up their words like water.
11 They say, "How can God know what we're doing?
Does the Most High God really know that much?"
12 Here is what sinful people are like.
They don't have a care in the world.
They keep getting richer and richer.
13 It seems as if I have kept my heart pure without any reason.
It didn't do me any good to wash my hands
to show that I wasn't guilty of doing anything wrong.
14 Day after day I've been in pain.
God has punished me every morning.
15 What if I had said, "I will speak as evil people do"?
Then I wouldn't have been faithful to God's children.
16 I tried to understand it all.
But it was more than I could handle.
So, Asaph almost stopped serving God because it seemed like the wicked were doing better than he was. He eventually realized that there was no future for the wicked:
17 It troubled me until I entered God's temple.
Then I understood what will happen to bad people in the end.
18 God, I'm sure you will make them slip and fall.
You will throw them down and destroy them.
27 Those who don't want anything to do with you will die.
You destroy all those who aren't faithful to you.
28 But I am close to you. And that's good.
Lord and King, I have made you my place of safety.
I will talk about everything you have done.
You are not alone in how you are feeling. Many who have felt very much like you have found satisfaction in learning what the Bible really teaches by studying the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses. They have also found true friends among those who are worshipping God with spirit and truth. (John 4:23, 24)