To you they may be hints, but to logical men they may mean the exact opposite. You women are supposed to be so great at communicating, why not try it for once. TELL HIM WHAT YOU DESIRE/EXPECT/WANT. Especially if he's been in relationships with other women. You have no idea how different you all are.
Here's an example from the current Redbook magazine, there's an article about women/men and talking/hearing between the sexes. The author of a book on the subject is telling a story about a friend of his who wasn't getting along with his gf one particular day. The night before, while having sex, (and I'm not deliberately being crude here, you can look this up yourself) he started to go down on her. She stops him and says, "No, don't do that". The boyfriend, thinking she's self-conscious about something that day, or just not up for that, lets it go. The girlfriend then gets mopey and pouty, because as it turns out, she wanted nothing more than for him to do that all night long on her, but she wanted him to practically beg her to let him do it. He was just supposed to know.
I mean, do I even have to say, WTF? We men and you women will be doomed to an eventual 100% single forever rate if that's the way we're going to talk.
So try telling your hubby want you would like him to do. You say you shouldn't have to show him how to be a man. But what is your image of "being a man"? Is it remotely close to his? And if you really think you're lowering yourself by telling him what you want, then I will tell you flat out to end this relationship, as you two are not right for each other.