why is so had for my family to understand?

im 21 years old i have a job that pays good and ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years... right now i live with my mom and my grandparents and they still think i should live here with them ... ive depended on them so much i dont drive they drive me everywhere and tell me basicly what to do ...i want to move out with my boyfriend...& when i mentioned that to my mom she said if i do that shell want nothing to do to with me & i donn about my granparents yet? help?

Update:

my grandpaernts would proly make me feel worse that ill be to americanized??

Update 2:

i share a room with my mom and my lil brother why cant she just be okay ur 21 go live ur life?

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    i think you need to do what you need to do to further your self. move out slowly and let your mom get used to you not being there. your her baby and she WANTS YOU AROUND FOREVER BUT YOU HAVE TO GROW UP. STOP HAVING THEM DRIVE YOU AROUND LEARN HOW TO DRIVE AND DONT HAVE YOUR MOM TEACH YOU TAKE CLASSES WITH THE INSTRUCTER. THEN BUY A CAR YOU WILL BE GONE WITH FRIENDS AND YOUR BOYFRIEND ALL THE TIME. THEN START SPENDING NIGHT OUT THEN SPEEND DAYS AT HIS HOUSE TAKE A BAG OF CLOTHES TO YOUR BOYFRIENDS DONT FORGET TO LET YOUR MOM KNOW THAT YOUR NOT COMING HOME SHE WILL ASK YOU ALOT OF QUESTIONS BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL HER ALL OF YOUR BUSINESS JUST LET HER KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THEN LITTLE BY LITTLE MOVE OUT IT CAN TAKE MONTHS BUT ITS LIKE WINGIN A BABY ON A BOTTLE AN OFF OF BREST THATS WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOUR MOM LITTLE BY LITTLE. IN THE BEGENNING SHE WILL FUSS AND FIGHT BUT IN THE END YOU BOTH CAN STILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AND BE HAPP AND YOU CAN BE INDEPENDANT. THEN WHEN YOU DO NEED HER HELP SHE WONT BITE YOUR HEAD OFF CAUSE YOU JUST LEFT HER.

  • 1 decade ago

    Although your parents and grandparents i'm sure mean well, they have not realized your all grown up.

    I'm not sure moving out will do the trick just yet , it may make things worse for a while adding unnecessary stress to your life, and things could spiral out of hand.

    Let's see, start off by learning to drive, if you make good money you should have no problems taking driving lessons.

    Get your license, and then look for a car.

    Seek a car or car loan you can easily afford, but this will offer you much independence and freedom.

    Slowly show your family that although they mean well you are a grown up there -fore conduct your self as one.

    In the meantime try to be less dependent on them, even if it means taking local transportation to get around , again acting like an adult, and just getting them ready for the fact that you are one, and are enjoying that independence.

    If in time they do not seem to come around then maybe moving out will be your next step, but please make sure you have your own car, and make enough to be self sufficient, other wise you will go from depending on someone to depending on another ( the boyfriend) and again that could strain the relationship and ruin it.

    Make sure you and he have a good strong foundation , because living together is not easy...

    Remember, you could always get your own place, your own privacy, that would be even better, than depending on anyone else!

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Your mom is being really immature. She's trying to hold on to you by threatening. She should be old enough by now to realize that you're not "her little baby" any more, and that you need more breathing space. You should probably confront her, or at least talk to a psychiatrist about the issue. If she continues to act in such a childish manner, maybe the best thing to do would be just to move out. Hopefully your grandparents are more supportive. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you sure your not just replacing your mom with the boyfriend? learn how to drive, and buy a car first (you'll be suprised how much independence that alone will get you) The last thing you want to do is go from one cheesy relationship to another. be independent first and then move in with the boyfriend in a few years ON YOUR TERMS not mom's grandma's or his.

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  • 1 decade ago

    you're mom is controlling and manipulating, even though i'm sure she truly loves you and thinks she's doing this for your best interest. it's a tough question since it sounds like cultural differences. if you really want to and think you should move out, it's a risk you have to take, but i would think mom will come round eventually.

    good luck, but decide carefully, ok?

  • 1 decade ago

    Move out anyways. Get a car loan and get a car. Get the heck out. Your family is manipulative and it needs to be stopped.

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