Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

hi.. im 14 and so ashamed of myself. im fat. i feel ugly and hate life. i need some advice?

nothing has been going myway...

im now in high school and the kids tease me

i have this pocket mirror that i look in and i feel so ugly...

when i look at other skinny girls they look soo happy i wish i could be them they have friends. a life.. people that care bout them and they all feel pretty. they can wear what ever they want to.. they have boyfriends and everything.. i feel so left out and lonely.. i have conquered cutting myself so i dont do that anymore but juss please give me some advice

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You are becoming a beautiful young woman > you are growing and learning and as you do you will have choices to make that only you are able to make for yourself > you are speaking words of defeat and failure > you should be speaking words of victory and joy like instead of saying you are ashamed of yourself > say I have nothing to be ashamed of > start speaking words to yourself that will build you up not down > it is said we are people of habit > one believes this to be some what of a truth > it seems to me you know exactly what has become a habit for yourself > now it is time for change and know that change will come and it is your choice what you want that change to be > you must start at some point my suggestion is to start with leaning as much as you can about Jesus Christ. As we are on our journey I pray we both make right choices from this day forward > Much love and peace to you > remember our Triune God did not make anything and or anyone that is not beautiful and our Triune God never ever makes mistakes > you will find your place and the road will began to lighten up and your journey will become easier > love will come and life goes on.

  • 1 decade ago

    The first thing you need is a very strong will power, it is not easy so I would suggest to get a King James version of the bible. As I said it is real hard to have a strong will power and god will help you, It's from experience I have the same problem. Before reading, pray ask god to help you to have a strong will power read a passage at night before going to bed, You should start by reading John 1 John 2 & John 3. Learn Yoga do it properly one hour each day (I found it worked better than excorcizing) you need to give your will power a boost and make sure you do yoga once a day every day. Eat right veggies, fruits, try dry toast, no doghnuts, coockies, candy limit your carbs drink water not soda. You can have positive feelings like I'm a great person, I work real hard, I can do it, etc. By the way, you are a great person. Work hard and good luck you can do it

  • 1 decade ago

    I am so jealous of you, I wish I could be 14 and back in high school. Don't worry, live it up at school, do whatever you want. You will probably never see any classmates again once you get out of school, and looks change fast at your age. Personally I think you would be better off cutting the people that teased you versus cutting yourself. I have never had tolerance for bullies and always look forward to giving them a wake-up call. Boyfriends at your age are overated. You've already started making changes, so it sounds like you are on the right track just stay positive and be proud of conquering a major obstacle in your life. I'm proud of you for that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Everybody goes through tough times in their life for a reason. It is hard to see what that reason is when we are going through the tough time... The end result of such is always a deeper understanding, awareness, and compassion for another who's is in the same boat. This will stay with your entire life. What happens now may be for some reason down the road. I know that is nice to know but it doesn't make what you are going through right now any easier... Life can be harsh sometimes. Don't you have anyone you can talk to about this? A parent, a grown up, a counselor, someone? Know that alot of the skinny, popular, pretty girls have their own secrets. Some are very ugly. They use their looks to mask alot of what is lacking in their own lives. Many of them are really not very nice people down deep. You are way ahead of them on inward things. You know how it feels to be on the fring. You have already experienced more than most of them. Just because you are not "one of them" doesn't mean you aren't worthy of them. It may mean they aren't worthy of you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I know how you feel. The same thing happend to me too. Except that my classmates does'nt have boyfriends.

    Don't ever feel that you're ugly. Because you will be ugly if you do that.

    So what if you're fat. You're still you. No matter how thin or skinny or fat you are, you're still beautiful.

    In high school you'll never expect anything. Remember to be yourself. Don't mind others. Think that you're beautiful.

    You feel left out and lonely. Don't ever feel that way. Because no one will ever get near you. Try talking to others, that will help even a little bit.

    If they're teasing you, don't notice them. You know I believe in karma. One day, the ones who teased you will be teased back twice.

    Don't ever cut yourself. That's bad. Don't let you're emotions take over you. Because if they will, you'll die.


  • 1 decade ago

    Eat salads, soups and stuff that doesn't have a lot of colesterol or sugar. Avoid caffine for quick energy and use peanut butter instead. When you want junk food, wait until the weekends but, during the week, get out there work those pounds off. Find someone else to work out with too and drink lots of water.

    People who make fun of others are pampered, spoiled, idiots. They will get what is coming to them sooner or later. Just try to ignore them and focus on what you want for yourself.

    Good luck and God bless you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Dear girl, you are me years ago! I entered high school being overweight and feeling the same way! It was many years ago, in fact in the 60's, and that was when "Twiggy", world famous and verrrrrrrry skinny (then) model was the "in" thing. Everyone thought looking anorexic was good, and I was very overweight.

    I can tell you 2 things -

    First, very important... you are so young, totally young enough to change your whole future at this point! I wish I had known back then what all I know now! I continued to gain weight over the years, until I eventually weighed well over 300 pounds (at only 5' 1" tall !!!), and was in my 40's. (I'm now 55). THEN I finally started really dealing with my weight, and lost over 100 pounds in the first year. There's a long story that follows, of successes and failures, and I am still battling with weight, since I gained back all I had lost before plus more (after I broke my ankle in a freak accident)... BUT.. here's the good news....

    Here I am, with disabilities now, and some really difficult things to overcome, but I am losing the weight again... The GOOD NEWS FOR YOU is that at your age, it will be much easier for you to lose any weight you need to, than if you wait till later in life. AND, you will have a much better life, mainly better health, and more fun, by doing it now.

    It takes a lot of willpower, but I believe you can do it! If I can, anyone can. After all, I learned to use food as my drug of choice. I love food, especially "comfort" foods... like ice cream and cookies, cake, donuts, lots of butter, rich creamy things, potatos and gravy, fried chicken... etc etc etc.

    I'd advise you to talk to your parent/s about this, and maybe they can make an appointment with your physician about it. He/she can give you some good advice. But, the most success I had was with changing my eating habits, learning what was healthy and what was not, and exercising. I went to gym and began working out. I had to put blinders on (figuratively of course), just not let people's stares bother me. I was the fattest person there, and one of the oldest, but as people saw that I was serious, and I asked advice and took it, they began to respect for me for my efforts. I made some friends there, and they were so good to encourage me and help me along the way. I don't think I could have done it without some of them, and particularly the ones who encouraged me not to give up and to keep coming back!

    My health is improving again, and so is my outlook, as I regain health and continue to lose weight.... I WILL achieve my goal this time, because I'm determined.

    Please don't try fad diets... that come and go, and many people will say this one or that one is the best. I've learned a lot, been on different diets, and really, the best way, especially when you have a lot to lose, is to do it slowly, with exercise, and in a healthy way, by eating right.... and this doesn't mean starving yourself.

    I sometimes let myself have something delicious and fattening... because if I don't, I'll feel deprived of it and want it all the more. And, sometimes our bodies need something in it, and so we crave it. But the difference now is, I don't eat tons of it... sometimes just one bite, or one small piece.

    There is so much more I could say here, and I'm thinking if you would like to email me, I wouldn't mind helping out with encouragements, and some things I've learned.

    Please feel free to email.

    I also think you need to realize that you are beautiful for who you are, not for what you look like, and that you need to learn to love yourself, every inch of you. But, I understand the need to feel better about your appearance, especially at the age of 14, and losing weight is a win/win thing as far as health goes.

    Best of success, Lili (sorry for being so long-winded, but this is a subject so close to my heart.)

    Source(s): A lifetime of dealing with this same challenge, successes, failures, but always onward and upward.... you can do it! :)
  • 1 decade ago

    If you feel self concious about your weight contact people who will help you lose the weight. Only you can decide what you want to do with your weight issues. Eating healthy with a good workout program could be the means to an end of your problems.

  • Listen, at 14, every girl has being "pretty" or "hot", as their first priority. Don't worry about being fat, or ugly. Just think that you're unique in your unique in your own ways. My friend thinks shes fat and ugly, but all I say is to think of yourself as beutiful in your own way. When you look at those pretty girls, think about how much they starve themselves to end up the way they are, and when kids make fun of you, think of how insecure they are and ignore them. Don't be ashamed of yourself.

    Hope my answer helped.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    See the foot of the teens section, at on page 13, and loneliness, on page 9: consider volunteering: read page 38.

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