How to achieve independence from parents?

Sorry if I spelled independence wrong. But honestly, I'm spoiled. Next summer I'll be 15 and I want to get a job in the summer but my parents don't think I should because they don't think I have a need for the money. By getting the job, I really want to achieve a level of independence and do things like pay for my own car, ect. Even at a lower level, whenever I suggest that I do something simple for myself my mom shoots it down. She teases me about a lot of things like how today was the first day I bought a pair of shoes on my own. I know it's really sad, but she's never given me the opportunity to go shoe shopping on my own. I know I sound like a spoiled kid, but that's because I am one and I'd really just like some advice for independence so I could not be spoiled and take care of myself for once. Thank you so much!


I don't want total independence from my parents, just some so I'm not totally relaying on them for my whole life. Like my older sister in college is always asking for money to go on trips to a ton of different places all over the world. Even if I only go on one of these trips someday and have my parents help me pay for it, it would still be a level of independence different from what I'm at now.

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    well when you achieve independence is when you have a good job and you are resposible for your own actions like if you get in trouble and go to jail or something your parents are going to respond for you but for now you just cant by your own when you achieve independece from your parents is when you are paying your own rent your car like you said your shoes clothes whatever that has came out from you from your own money but you are bearly 15 i really don' think you could achieve all that by yourself without mommy and daddy INDEPENDENCE IN other words well im not sure if i spelled independence right either so sorry oh and really you have a really mature attitude for an 15 year old thats really good keep that up

  • 1 decade ago

    No ones parents are perfect.I think you are about to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. I assure you,the day will come sooner than you think,that you will be responsible for yourself.Though I agrree with you ,based on what you said,you could be given a little more responsibllity,you are not ready to be 100% responsible for yourself at this time.Please think through the consequences of your actions.You are asking to be what is called an emmancipated minor. So,you are ready to feed ,clothe and shelter yourself. What about college ? Are you planning on paying for that also. While I recognize you have a need to be independent,no need to ruin your life in the process. Also,sometimes you have to give parents a little time to adjust to certain things. Keep in mind,you have been there "

    little girl" for almost 15 years now. Try getting permission,to do more of the "lower stuff ". Make sure you are doing all the things at home you are suppose to do at home,such as chores, and homework.Make sure your grades are good.

    Perhaps if you show,a more mature side of you during the school year, your parents will see you are ready for another level of independence next summer.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Firstly, kudos for realising how fortunate you are and for having such a mature attitude towards your life. It's fantastic to see people taking responsibility - I myself started working at 13 (in the family business here in Ireland, hence it was ok) and applaud those that don't have to work but do anyway. If you keep this up and apply it to other areas of your life, you'll go far.

    About your mom - I'm guessing she's had all the material goods she wanted for much of her adult life, if not more. So I think you need to sit her down and talk to her or maybe even show her this question you asked. She needs to take you seriously - you're certainly mature for your age and I think she needs to appreciate that. If she's still against you having a job as such, maybe you could compromise and babysit once or twice a week, that sort of thing.

    Good luck with it, and let me know how you get on please!

  • Jody
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I'd start by having a mature conversation with them. Tell your mother you feel smothered by her constant attention and that you'd like to learn how to do things on your own so you're not helpless when you go to college. Point out that you love her very much, but that it hurts your feelings when she makes fun of you about stuff that is essentially her fault (not letting you shop alone, for example). This is a good place. Remember to stay calm, getting emotional is a sign of childishness. The more grown up you sound, the more willing they might be to let you do your own thing. Ask you mother to teach you how to do things, like cooking, laundry, or other things you know she knows how to do. Do the same for your dad. Make a genuine effort to learn how to do things you're sure you'll have to know how to do in the future. Good luck!!

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