For any ex-feminists. What turned you away from feminism?

Men and women can answer this.

Update:

Exactly Jennifer C.

I have had false allegations of DV used against me to prevent access to my daughter.

It is an insult to me, people like me, and to people who have genuinely suffered domestic violence. There are a lot of freeloaders taking advantage of the DV procedures to benefit themselves

Update 2:

EDIT: Chevalier.

We have had similar experiences. You don't take seriously feminism until you become a victim in the family courts. It is a wake up call. When you try to understand why is the court so biased that it will find you guilty with little or no evidence then you will come to the conclusion feminism or rather the feminists are to blame.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I was a feminist until I had to enter a battered women's shelter in the mid-90s. Certainly, I know there are men who are abusive. After all, I was married to one who would drag me around by my hair, would punch me in the top of my head so the bruises wouldn't show and would even strip me in public in front of my neighbors, in addition to many other acts too unbelievable to describe. However, when I was in the shelter, there were women there who admitted that all their husband/boyfriend did was slam a cabinet door, raise their voice or some similarly innocuous behavior. When we had our group therapy sessions, there were quite a few of these women who I felt were using the plight of those who really did suffer abuse, and their antics were tolerated by the staff and mental health workers at the shelter. When I left that institution, I came away thinking there are a lot of men out there who are being railroaded and denied access to their children because these women have found an easy way to pit a system that believes women never lie against them. I have seen it occur since with women I've known as neighbors and coworkers, and women as a whole will not "police" their own ranks, so to speak, and often support and encourage the break-up of families by women who have been led to believe that every cross word is abuse. When feminists use these "abuse" statistics, I am personally cognizant of what these statistics include. Either most feminists are ignorant and do not look any deeper than someone's skewed numbers, or they absolutely do not care that lies are being perpetrated.

  • 1 decade ago

    I veered away from feminism after having been through the family court system twice and have seen the bias and then have feminists tell me that men are incapable of being parents are incapable of even basic love. Feminist have taken my children from and more importantly has taken me from them. My first wife was a feminist and in court told a judge that I beat her every Friday whether she needed it or not.

    No proof was given of this but even worse was when my lawyer demanded proof her lawyer and the judge[a woman] chewed him out because they said that wasn't needed since as a combat veteran my propensity for violence was already proven.

    Also I have walked into store and banks and heard women seemingly having contests on who was more of a victim. Or I go somewhere and the woman who is supposed to be employed to help me is walking around calling men pigs and dogs.

  • 1 decade ago

    For clarification, I am not an ex-feminist...as I was never a 'member' of the movement, perse... And as I've stated before, I am not a non-feminism individual, I am more of an anti-feminist...that is to say, I am not impressed with many of the feminists as they exist today. The movement, in its purest sense, is still an admirable one.

    My reason? I see that there are many, many issues that oppress women around the world. In fact, there is much that oppresses many PEOPLE around the world. But those issues are ignored in favor of anti-male speech. If someone wants to join a movement for the betterment of women in the world - then I suggest they focus their time on the most serious issues first - like FGM. This, surely, deserves more effort than a wage gap. Not to say that it isn't important to work toward fair and equitable pay for women, but when their sisters are being mutilated, I would say that its more important to run to their aid, isn't it?

  • I was never a feminist so I guess I can't really answer this question. But I will do it anyway. What turned me off from feminism is that if you are a man who brings with him a rational opinion you are an anti feminist and stuck in the dark ages. If you don't tow the feminist line then you are akin to a sexist,racist, and any other word ending in -ist. They oversimplify things they know nothing about. They are backed by pseudo-intellectuals who really can't back up their claims with anything other than wind. Not only that, they are their own worst advocates just look at this video.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qodygTkTUYM

    Youtube thumbnail

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  • Baters
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Hypocrisy. But that was the majority of the feminist. There are still does who are real feminist and I applaud them. But when you're the only real feminist in your area, it's hard to remain faithful to the cause.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I consider myself to be clearly a feminist. I really care about the women's movement. For instance, it warms my heart that Hillary Clinton might be president, even though I don't like her as a person or a politician. I'm personally offended when I witness a man taking his woman's work for granted. There are many examples like this, that are 'givens' to me.

    But, I have some extremely unpopular views, like that feminism is no longer about gaining rights and power, but about gaining respect, self-knowledge, and better scorekeeping. I believe feminists need to be much more careful what battles they choose, which is easy for me to advise from my vantage point, eh.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I used to campaign to stop domestic violence against women.. I did this because I really wanted to stop people from getting abused. Although at first I felt it was odd that they were only addressing one side of the issue, I was still for it because it was "stopping violence", even though just on one side.

    The more I got involved in those campaigns I kept seeing that they were being used to spread anti-male sentiment. I also noticed a lot of false statistics being used which at the time I just felt made it difficult for me to do my job, but after a time came to view as lies which had the aim of attacking men as much as they could.

    Occasionally I would see or hear of someone bringing up the male side of domestic violence. In some of those cases they were dismissed as in "we're just not working on that right now", or if people refused to work on the female side unless the male side was addressed they were referred to as "evil".

    Slowly I came to realise that these people really did not care about the male side of domestic violence and were more about fostering anti-male sentiment and having men subject to women rather than actually stopping domestic violence. Along with the statistics showing that domestic violence was in fact equal between men and women while they were trying to make it look like men were running around being abusive all the time using statistics of violence against women only, what really made me turn away from feminism on the matter was the fact they would never try to help men even if they knew they needed it. They would never view a man as a victim of a woman. Ever. Period.

    After that it was really just the fact that I was interested in helping men in some respects that brought me to the men's movement and realise that what I had experienced in the domestic violence industry was the same way across the gamut of gender issues.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I weighted the arguments made against feminism versus the arguments made by feminists.

    The anti-feminists made much better arguments.

    Also, the fact that most feminists were sexists, misandrists, and hypocrites.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    The hypocrisy for one.

    Also seeing what the effects of feminism on society are.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am not a feminist

    but I am a woman and very pro

    so

    it's all the same

    without the name

    ists

    constrict

    and keeps me from being

    what I want to be

    and have that thing

    called autonomy

    Bon Bon

    "Where there are people, there are flies."

    and feminists are people just the same

    and though I am not one

    I believe *they* are not to blame

    for your experience though a shame

    your stance against an entire movement is really

    lame

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