I was a feminist until I had to enter a battered women's shelter in the mid-90s. Certainly, I know there are men who are abusive. After all, I was married to one who would drag me around by my hair, would punch me in the top of my head so the bruises wouldn't show and would even strip me in public in front of my neighbors, in addition to many other acts too unbelievable to describe. However, when I was in the shelter, there were women there who admitted that all their husband/boyfriend did was slam a cabinet door, raise their voice or some similarly innocuous behavior. When we had our group therapy sessions, there were quite a few of these women who I felt were using the plight of those who really did suffer abuse, and their antics were tolerated by the staff and mental health workers at the shelter. When I left that institution, I came away thinking there are a lot of men out there who are being railroaded and denied access to their children because these women have found an easy way to pit a system that believes women never lie against them. I have seen it occur since with women I've known as neighbors and coworkers, and women as a whole will not "police" their own ranks, so to speak, and often support and encourage the break-up of families by women who have been led to believe that every cross word is abuse. When feminists use these "abuse" statistics, I am personally cognizant of what these statistics include. Either most feminists are ignorant and do not look any deeper than someone's skewed numbers, or they absolutely do not care that lies are being perpetrated.