? asked in 藝術與人文詩詞與文學 · 1 decade ago

幫忙挑一下文法錯誤,急件

下面這篇短篇作文,請幫我挑出文法錯誤,並教我一下怎麼改,附上10點,感激不盡。

  

  

A Lesson Learned From Nature

I’ve yearned to be turned into a sparrow since I was in childhood. It sounds childlike for being said by such a kid. But, with the time pass, I grasp some sense of it. Sparrows are gregarious and clannish animals which can’t just live alone. They cooperate with each other to achieve everything including finding the foods, defending their nest. On the other part, they divvy works and achievements for company without selfish and egotistic. Cooperation and selflessness are definitely the most important spirits that we derive from sparrows. The world is now lacking for these virtues and now is the time for us, new world leaders, to renew our paradise, isn’t it?

2 Answers

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  • Pirate
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    A Lesson Learned from the Nature

    I have wanted to be a sparrow since my childhood.

    A sparrow? Why? You might think it sounds ridiculous when you first heard about this. As time goes by, I gradually understand why I want to be a sparrow. Sparrows are the kind of birds which get together all the time. They help each other out by finding foods and defending the nests for each other . In addition, each of the sparrows has its own job, and work hard to reach the goal set by its group. We certainly can learn from the sparrows with their remarkable commitment . These virtues are hard to find in today's world. As new leaders for tomorrow, it is time for us to renew the kindred spirit that the sparrows have.

    改寫快的多,恕我沒時間跟你講解文法的問題,不過你寫的我還猜的出你要講的是什麼。

    Source(s): Are you like Barbara Walters who once said she wanted to be a tree
  • 1 decade ago

    嗯~ 如果最佳解答之前有機會補充一下說明及文法錯誤會更好喔~

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