How do u get over a destructive relationship?

My husband and i have been together on and off for years, he has been a horrible person to me always doing hurtful things and saying he's sorry. I want to move on for good! im tired of trying but i constantly keep running back because we have kids and i haven't been able to find anyone else yet.How do i stop the pattern of constantly going back to him no matter what he does to me its taking a huge toll on my mind and self esteem any suggestions ?

8 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Forget about men in your life for now! Take care of your children and find yourself again. This man has obviously messed with your head and feelings long enough. Now it is time to take back your self dignity, self esteem and self worth. Find a job, prove to yourself that you are WOMAN and you can do anything. I have raised my 3 children alone now for 13 yrs. Have gone back to school twice, have a great job, travel and am now going back to school again. I have dated over the years, but still no mr. right. I have set my standards and until someone comes along that can fill them, I will remain single. You can do it!! It is called a back bone. Good luck! We are hear for you!

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't get in another one, most woman are drawn to those type of relationships whether they know it, or not. Mental abuse is worse than physical abuse, and It is like a tape recorder in you head replaying the messages he pounded in there. Support groups help alot, try to find one in the area. As for the children, that is the bad part of it, you have to be part of each others life, until the kids are 18 or out of college. Put you chin up, and tell yourself you are better than he told you were. And a prayer to God and tell him how you feel and he will be there for you, don't stop praying.

  • 1 decade ago

    First, you don't have to find someone else to leave a nasty husband. Secondly, you need to ask yourself how this affects your children (leaving, apology, going back). It's hard to move on, especially when you know you are alone, find your inner strength and don't let him do this anymore. Sounds like you've given him a 2nd 3rd 4th chance, how many straws will be enough to break the camels back??

  • jude
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    find a self help group of others like yourself who are going through the same thing, they will help u get through this. u may have a low self worth and feel the need u have to be with someone. the low self worth was caused by his actions towards u all these years.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Every time you're tempted to go back ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want for your children.

    Your children are learning about relationships from you.....be a better teacher and role model....leave for good.

  • 1 decade ago

    Read the book Co-dependent No More. That way you can keep your marriage. When you marry you become one flesh, that is why it is so hard to leave. Work on your marriage don't give up.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Do you have relatives you can stay with, relatives who you know are good with the kids?

    If so? Then talk to them and arrange it so you do not have to go back to him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    learn to stand on your own two feet instead of leaving only when you find someone else. be independent.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.