Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicPolls & Surveys · 1 decade ago

The revised Men Rules, please read.?

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

Update:

WOW.....some of you ppl have NO SENSE of humor...lol

22 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    AMEN!! you're right on ALL counts!!

    But expect a lot of hate from women. You know why, because everything you said has to do with COMMON SENSE. Most (not all) women do NOT have common sense, so they will NEVER understand what you just wrote. Women generally operate on FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, and not LOGIC!!

    But you'll get props from the women who understand logic and that guys are about the most simple beings to ever exist. We don't think much, because well... thinking hurts. And we rather be doing than thinking.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Funny stuff, us girls have a list as well, but since i am female i do not have that list to provide to you. Also I do deffinatly agree with the toilet seat one ive always been the type to care less if its up or down whatever... atleast the guy IS putting it up and being curteous enough to care whether or not you sit on his pee. If it where the other way around and we where sapposed to put it back up after we where done, how often do you think we would remember? I wouldnt.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I belive every one of those things could be vice versa for yourself but i do belive that you are pretty much right! good luck on the couch hun. i sleep on the couch, floor, bath tub, bed, etc. doesn't bother me a bit and i'm a girl. You may as well you pay for each of those rooms why not spend a good night there:)

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  • Steph
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I can live with most of these rules, as long as my husband understands I'm still going to ask which shoes look better. And also as long as you guys understand that once you get married you lose your right to plead the fifth. It's gone and you don't have a fifth anymore. Thanks for the two points.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hahaha, yeah, all true...I have tried to point out the take your problems to a girlfriend, guys dont want to hear complaining and worse they will try to fix the problem leaving a girl feeling not only upset, but inadequate in her ability to fix her own damn problem...they dont listen...and I believe you see a guy when you want sex, laughter or a beer. Take Care.-Rachel.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Meow Mix on the menu today?

    Actually I'd give my handbag for a beer any day.

    You're funny!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    oh that is so funny. you got it right on the money. and i shouldn't agree, but i do. it so funny. i'l be laughing all day need to print this out and give to people at work.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i am a woman and find most of these rules true and they are also very funny but i would not be surprised if you are sleeping on the couch but at least you know that.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your too funny,,,but right-on. Grew up with 7 brothers. If you need an extra blankie let me know...the girl next door. =)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I only agree with the first rule

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