love asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Why does Mom makes me feel worthless?

Sometimes my mom can make me so upset that I just feel worthless. She says I'm not caring, she says I'm selfish, that her day would be better without me in it. I asked her something and when I figured it out on my own she rolled her eyes and said "duh". I know I'm a good person and I get A's and my friends love me. But she's really lowering my self-esteem because I keep on thinking "this is my mom saying this". It's not 24/7 but I've finally had enough that I just start crying over the simplest things. Why does she want the perfect daughter???

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    your mum is probably going through some problems,

    she may be feeling bad about her life, about all the things she wanted to do but never got to do,

    for whatever reason,

    and then she had kids and that takes away the hope and chances of doing these things and she may feel some resentment towards her life being 'over' and having done nothing where as your is just beginning, you have all these possibilities ahead and hers all all behind

    she may feel unappreciated, that she gave all that up for nothing because no-one notices or cares how important these things were to her

    remember your mum is still a person, just like you

    she did all the same things you do when she was your age

    she had all the same dreams and possibilities

    and now she is just 'mum'

    who cleans, and cooks and has to look after you all the time

    she may not get any time to herself

    to remind herself who she is, the person and not just the mum or the wife

    you should talk to her

    explain that what she does and says hurt you a lot

    tell her how much, tell her you cry because of it, tell her you dont understand whats happening or why its happening, tell her you feel she doesn't love you or shes mad at you or that she wants you to be someone else this perfect daughter.

    and explain that if shes upset over something, she can talk to you about it

    she can talk to you about anything

    that you want listen and to help if you can, in any small way you can, because you love her and you will be there to listen if she just wants to get it out

    that you dont want her to feel sad, or unhappy, or mad, or bad

    you want her to be happy

    remember that she loves you

    anything she does and says is not directed at you, its directed at her life, at herself, at her dreams and hopes being unfulfilled

    id suggest a girly night in for you both, arrange one night a week,

    get to know each other

    not just as mother and daughter

    but as people and as friends too

    have fun together, watch a girly movie, do a make over, order a pizza

    talk

    go do some exciting thing together,

    take a flight in a balloon, something out of the ordinary to remind her life can be good/great, fun, and exciting for her too

    get her a gift

    take her out

    tell her you always appreciate everything she does for you, everything shes done for you

    because she will need to hear that from you and tell her how much you love her

    she does not want 'the perfect daughter', she is just unhappy at the moment and taking it out on you and i bet she doesn't realise how much it hurts you

  • 4 years ago

    It sounds to me that you are in a very very difficult situation and you need help now. It would appear that your Mother may be going through some emotional or mental difficulties that have nothing to do with you. You need to enlist the help of a family counsellor. Start with the student services department of your college to see if there are any services that you can access. Have you had a chance to sit down at a time when your mother is not feeling angry and quietly going over what are her issues of concern? It seems that you are doing everything that every parent would be proud of: going to school full time while working part time and you are only 20 years old; a lot of time ahead for boyfriends and relationships. I cannot understand any parent turning on their daughter for breaking up with a boyfriend. Could she have been living vicariously through you? Good luck to you and hope that you are able to either get a student loan so that you can finish school and live on your own, or get some family counselling so that your current living condition is at least bearable.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is tough being a parent. We have bad days too. And often say and do things we dont mean just like you do. Sounds like she may have a few issues to work out on her own. How about asking her if you could help in some way. sure she would appreciate it.

  • 1 decade ago

    When she starts , best thing to do is walk away ! If she comes after you go visit a friend or maybe a relative

    If it gets too out of hand , call the police on her ..And tell them , You need some one to talk , to her so that things cool down!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how you feel? Just say, "Mom, I'm afraid we're not as close as I'd like to be. When you say things like ______, it makes me feel ____." All you can do is try to get it out in the open.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Actually, your mother is a functional retarded who shouldn't have had kids.... Literally.

    Raising a human being is not a responsability that many people are able to handle.

    Are you relating self worth to violence?

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