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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Any people that have been through divorce?

I am currently going through a divorce and now there's a struggle with custody issues as well. I'm not in any way trying to keep my son from his father but I used to live in that house and I know what kind of household they run there. I want what is best for my son which is structure during the school year. When my husband and I were getting along he initially agreed that Mon-Fri throughout the school year our son should remain w/me with the exception of 1 night during the week, but every other weekend we would alternate and summers would be 50/50 also spring break and xmas break. Now he's going back on his word. My husband also has a criminal history with cases still pending and a girlfriend who has a bench warrant for a drug charge and child endangerment. This isn't the environment I want my son in. How serious is the judge going to take this? Anyone dealt with this? I'm already getting an attorney.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You need to provide the court proof of the girlfriend's child endangerment charge. Go to the court house where they house court files/records. Ask to see anything with her name on it. It's public information. Pay to get copies of it. Then provide the court proof that she is living there full time or is there when your child is.

    The judge will take this very seriously!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm divorced and have went through and am still going dealing with the custody issues. It is common for the men to give alot in the beginning then rethink things after they add up all the child support payments.

    My ex wanted his freedom and to run wild and single again. So in the beginning the kids were basically all mine. But now he's remarried and has a new wife and some step children. His money is tight and now he has someone to babysit his kids.

    I think the judge will definitely take his criminal charges seriously. The judge will also consider his gf's accounts if she will be spending time with or caring for your son.

    It will definitely be wise to have an attorney now, you will save alot of money and heartache in the long run.

    Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Dear tantrace,

    It sounds like possibly your soon to be ex-husband is using the child as a weapon. Unfortunately this happens much to often. I can't promise you if the judge will favor your petition to keep the child with you or not,. Nor can your attorney. The judge is suppose to listen to both sides without bias. He is to determine what is best for the child. My guess is that as long as he sees that the child is safe and kept in a healthy environment he will split the custody. They are not suppose to hear about past offenses. Try to stay as calm as you can during this dreadful time. I am sorry you have to endure the mess caused by another. Fortunately my only child didn't enter into the picture during anyone of my three divorces. It wasn't about her. To bad the ex has to act like an ***. My bet is that the girlfriend would rather not even have your child live with them. Most don't want any part of another persons kids around.

    Just teach your child to tell you everything without giving the others reason to think he is up to know good. That wouldn't be good.

    Your in for a long and and emotional battle in and out of the court system.

    I truly wish you the best,

    Sincerely,

    Marseille

  • 1 decade ago

    what u have done to get an attorney is a good step. I've been there but mine is not as bad as yours (sorry). what u have to know is that according to custody law (that I know), child under 12 years old will be under the mother's. if u don't want to 'share' ur boy with his dad due to some reasons u have mentioned above (which are reasonable enough), u have to tell this in court...but u have to get some prove on this too. the court then might issue some regulation for his dad to see the boy in surveillance or may not see his son in some radius range.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Talk to the judge. It sounds to me like you've got a good case for restricted visitation. I hope your attorney is a good one. I'd worry about the environment, too.

    My ex had a drinking problem and the kids were small so I let him visit the kids at my house 3 evenings a week and on Saturday. It was difficult at first, but worked out well. As soon as the kids could pretty much fend for themselves, he was allowed to take them to his house. If he showed up with signs of drinking, the kids stayed home. No arguments either.

    The decisions we made were for the benefit of the children and I made no judgments of their dad in front of them. I let them make their own. Kids are smart and pick up on things. I never cut down their dad in front of them. Not good for the kids to hear stuff like that. They're grown up now and have a great relationship with their dad. They realize he has a drinking problem, but it's pretty much been limited by his liver. (Cause, effect and the children realize this).

  • 1 decade ago

    Mention that to the court about the criminal history if u have been the one with coustody mostly then they should go in ur favor i havnt been through a divorce myself but my rents have and it was the same everyother weekend my dad took me but it changed because for a while my dad was an alchaholic (might spelt that wrong lolz) and she knew that it wasnt a good enviorment for me just tell the court ur concerns let them deal with it

  • 1 decade ago

    If you have proof of everything that concerns you, you will be successful. Your attorney will help you maneuver the system better than I can. He is the professional in this situation. Remember this, What shall we then say to these things? If GOD be for us, who can be against us? - Romans 8:31. The Lord daily loadeth us with BENEFITS, even the God of our salvation. Selah - Psalm 68:19. Peace, Love and God Bless.

  • 1 decade ago

    Make sure you have all your documents ready and any notes. If your ex is truly this way, the judge will look at it closely. Make sure anyone who has seen things with their own two eyes is there for you to be a witness and talk on your behalf.

  • 1 decade ago

    IF you have proff then your lawyer should present it to a judge and they can have social services go tho the house and verify the situation.

    YOur lawyer if htey are any good should be asking htis type of question.

  • Renee
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i would get an attorney, and I definitely wouldnt want my kid around in that kind of environment.... an attorney is the best way to go...

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