What's the funniest and most random thing your child has ever said?

When a woman asked my daughter what her favorite tv show was she replied, "Lou Dobbs", the woman asked her why and she said, "because he's very opinionated and he tells it like it is". I laughed and laughed. She was only 6 at the time.

26 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My son was six years old and in the first grade. For about a week straight he had been asking me to take him to get his hair cut. After his repeatedly asking, I told him he did not need a hair cut yet he had only had one about three weeks before. He was very persistent and says "But Mom it has been raining every day this week". By then I was confused. I asked him "What does the rain have to do with getting your hair cut". His reply with a very matter of fact tone, "Hello...water makes things grow. See Mom with all this rain my hair is growing faster and faster". He had been learning about that in school and was very serious. I laugh every time we go to get his hair cut.

  • 1 decade ago

    My daughter was about 4-5ish and I had made some boiled eggs. She asked me to crack her one of the eggs so she could try it. So she took a big bite and then said "Oh Mom, that was good! I didn't know there was cheese inside it!"

    I couldn't stop laughing. She thought the yolk was cheese!

    There was this other time when my mother in law went grocery shopping with my daughter (5 at the time)...this was right after Pa Pa passed away...every man that would walk by them in the store my daughter would say "hey mister, do you need a wife?". My mother in law burst into laughter, excusing my daughter's question and then said "I'm sorry, my husband passed away 2 months ago. She is scouting for me!"

    And the last one, when my daughter was 12, smart a@! - we are walking down the cereal aisle, of course everyone and they're mother was on the cereal aisle when she said it...I was at the opposite end looking at something, she hollers "Mom, raisin bran? You were complaining about being irregular yesterday!" OMG - I wanted to kill her!

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't have kids, but I work in a grocery store, and hear alot of funny things said by little kids.

    Today, I was stocking cat food, and an older couple came down the aisle with their grand daughter, about age 6. The grandma said, "What kind of cereal should we get for your dad? He is very picky."

    The little girl said, "He's not picky, he's crazy! Daddy's not right in the head." I burst out laughing. Thats so funny to hear from a little kid.

  • 1 decade ago

    My son is now almost 10 and has said some doozies in his life, but I'll never forget some from when he was just a baby and learning to talk. His favorite video was a Winnie the Pooh movie, and we'd sing the song together. His version was "Ah Poo... Ah Poo." We had two cats that he adored, and whenever he saw them, he would gleefully call out "IDDY!!! IDDY!!" Tractors were "Dactors" and amazingly at the age of 3 he knew the difference between "Dactors" and "Exvagators"... as well as being able to correctly name the different types of dinosaurs. I miss that sweet little voice...

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    there are so many things!

    recently i was with friends talking about what kind of meat we have tried and my daughter pipes up that we have eaten lion! i looked at her and she was dead serious, my friends obviously thought she was lying! after asking her a few questions i had discovered some meat i cooked recently was labelled loin chops .... she read it as lion chops! we were all laughing for ages after that one.

    she seems to have a thing with lions because when she was 3 she went missing i was frantically searching for her and i found her heading off up the street towards a big supermarket, when i asked her where she was going tears in my eyes she stated matter of factly, im going to the shops to buy a lion!

    When she was around 4 we were waiting in a doctors reception and a dwarf was sitting across from us, my girl says in her loudest voice "look mum that mans legs dont even touch the floor!) i could of died on the spot!

    the embarrassment didnt stop there, she would of been around 7 and i was sick and didnt want to talk to anyone when the phone rang so i said to tell whoever it is im in the shower just pretend, and yep u guessed it she answers with mum said to pretend she is in the shower!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    not really my child but anyways

    i work as a bus aid on a bus of ages 2-5 and one day i heard a conversation between two boys the 1st one asked "do you like girls" the second one said "no, but my sister does that means shes gay " both boys are at least 4

    if my 6month old had anything to say i would put that

    there have been other funny out of the blue things but thats the only one i can think of.

  • 1 decade ago

    My 10 year old son never seices to amaze me. Back when he was 3 years old I had to teach him how to poop in the woods like a big boy. He was so scared and begged me to take him to a potty. We were fishing and way to far from a bathroom. So after about 15 minutes of debate I decided to show him how it's done. So I took him behind a tree and did the deed. I grabbed a large leaf and cleaned up. And after seeing mommy do it he went ahead and followed suit. He was so proud of himself all afternoon. Well the next day I took him to his daddy's house and kissed him goodbye. A couple of hours later his daddy called me and said "Guess what your son did" (you know it's bad when they say your son). Aparently my ex-husband decided to take our son on a bike ride through town with the new girlfriend. As they were passing the city park. My son decided to take off into the center of the soccor field where he dropped his bike and dropped his pants and left a huge turd right there where he squat, he had grabbed a leaf from a nearby tree before he got to the center of the field. He was so proud that he could poop in the woods like a big boy. Needless to say my ex-husband was mortified. His girlfriend laughed hystaricly as she and my ex explained to him that there is a time and a place for everything, and that was not the place. I gave my son a whoop whoop and a laughing ovation. Believe me that was only one of many outragous things my son has done in public. He is so my son!!!!!

    Source(s): mom to one of the greatest boys in the world
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's funny, I was just reminiscing the other day about once when I was changing the batteries to the remote and I commented, 'the batteries are dead', and my 5 year old daughter replied, 'Well, let's bring them to the hospital then.'

    Another time, it was fall out and I was a bit chilly, I said, 'I wish I brought my coat', and she replied,'You can wear mine, Mommy'. It was so sweet.

  • 1 decade ago

    The other day my daughter (20 mths old) awoke in the middle of the night, and I was having a hard time getting her to go back to sleep. So I took her into my room and laid her down hoping she would doze back off. She laid there real still, but her eyes were open, and she was clearly fighting sleep. All of a sudden, she passed gas--pushes herself up onto her hands and lean towards me and says: I toot! I thought it was the cutest thing. She had never said that before! I said- I know, I heard! I had to keep from laughing out loud!

  • 1 decade ago

    My son comes up with a lot of good ones. One morning, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Pigs don't wear diapers!" And the other night, he told my husband, "Daddy, I don't like hot girls." (This was after telling us a few weeks ago that he was "allergic" to girls).

    This probably doesn't count, but my 8 month old was getting a diaper change, and he sat up, butt naked, and said, "Yoooo-Daaaa." I know it's just babbling, but that was FUNNY!

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