Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceHomework Help · 1 decade ago

May you please proof read my essay and check for fragments and errors?

The Affect of our Environment on Us

No matter where you live around the world, there is an environment which you grow up around which can shape up your lifestyle a certain way. The area of where we grow up usually has a astounding impact on us because of the fact that the majority of people who have been living a certain way for several years has it harder to adapt to other settings, rather than someone who has been moving all their lives.

When a kid is very young and subjected to poverty and other bad influences, they might think they have nothing to lose and end up committing a crime which consequences can be very intense. This concept is the same as language, when you are a child, and hear a certain language for many years spoken by your parents, you certainly will be familiar with the language once you have grown up.. Well, since some people have been subjected and have been familiar to bad instances such as poverty, drugs, crime, has resulted in some bad futures they have made


for themselves.

This is not always the case. One might think of how when you have grown up in an environment that are not so pleasant, you might want to change yourselves to become someone better than someone else in the same environment that isn’t choosing such great choices. This may be true a minority of the time, because if we look back at statistics, we can see that the Bureau of Justice Statistics states that: overall, in about 84% of all burglaries, the offender gained entry into the victims’ residence or other building on the property. If one would ask themselves how come so many people who were included into that statistic wanted to gain entry into another person’s residence, you might find that where they are living or the economic situation they are in has not allowed them to get what they need or want. Subsequently, making them lurk for things that they do not own, since they feel as if there is nowhere else they can get it.On the other hand, a person who has lived their

Update 2:

lives in an environment that is healthy, and economically stable, might not seek such means in order to steal something that is not lawfully theirs. This makes total sense, because why steal and risk being jailed or imprisoned, when you can just earn what you want or need to get, regardless of what it may be. The majority of the time, these people who have lived in households where there were no tolerance for theft and crime, usually do not commit such acts, as they grow older and more mature.The major impact, which has enormous amount of play into how your life will turn out, depends on the household you were brought up in, and your parents’ guidance. In the National Child Abuse Statistics, it states that; 14.4% of all men in prison in the United States were abused as children and 36.7% of all women in prison were abused as children.

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The percentages are enormous, meaning that their environment that they were raised in wasn’t so good, so they felt as if they needed to turn on someone some way or another in order to avenge what they feel is their loss. While in some good family household, people who grow up from that environment are way more likely to get a college education and to become of benefit to themselves, and their society. That is because they have nothing left to worry about, society has given them good feedback all their lives, and they feel as if they would like to continue and live their lives to the fullest; there are no restrictions for them. Between 1999 and 2005, the total number of students taking AP exams increased by 75 percent, from 686,000 to 1,197,000; Hispanics experienced the largest increase (137 percent), followed by Blacks (118 percent), and American Indians/Alaska Natives (80 percent). (National Center for Education Statistics).

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This shows that in middle and high schools all around the world, the interest for Ap test takers are increasing. The reason is that people are beginning to recognize how important it is to become educated in a certain field, and to get any many college credits as needed. If you check their backgrounds, their peers and families have motivationally pushed the majority of these people, which also has a huge affect on how successful they turn out to be.

Not in all cases, but in the majority of the time, your background lifestyle sticks

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with you. Where you have grown up has even had a mental affect on your mind, whether it is good or bad, and the only person who can change it are the individuals themselves. How society has treated the individual, and how it has turned out to make them see life is usually how they will spend the rest of their lives believing and living, because that is the way they are used to being. Change is not something that instantly occurs; it is a process in which some people cannot handle.

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This one famous quote backs up how environment has offered people what they need in order to survive, but not for their own whims and desires whatever they may be: There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi. The world has been a place where people have had sufficiency, but when the minority of people who don’t get what they need, they begin to do things which aren’t so great. This is the reason why being born and raised in a

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good environment will eventually lead you to success, although a bad society can as well, it just is not so likely.

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(Thanks so much whoever does this gets best answer, I appreciate it).

1 Answer

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The two which...which on the second line

    The area where we grow up (not OF there)

    not has it harder->finds it harder

    poverty is not a bad influence

    you will certainly be familiar (not the other way round)

    ->you can't "make" a future, change it

    that IS not so pleasant

    change YOURSELF

    a minority of time??? what do you mean???

    might not USE such means

    "might not seek such means in order to steal??? something that is not lawfully theirs" ->correct this

    ->the major impact...?of what-where is the subject???

    ->correct your last statement, you use the words good ENVIRONMENT, why do you then change to bad SOCIETY(there is no such thing..)

    ->I think it should be :it is just not so likely, but I'm not sure about that :-)

    "it's a process WHICH some people can't handle." (not in which)

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