how do you ever get over your kids being molested?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I dont think as a parent you could ever get over someone violating your child...however you do need to move on, if nothing else to be an example to your children. They have experienced a trauma and need help. Seek professional help for them and yourself. REASSURE them that this WAS NOT their fault, they did nothing wrong.

    Pray and ask God to show you how to deal and handle this situation.

    Blessings =)

  • Unfortunately you wont ever "get over it" but most importantly either will your child.Even with counseling it will always be in the back of your mind. Sorry but it is the truth and it's a very hard thing to deal with. I was molested by my mom's bf when i was 4, I'm 26 now and i still think about it and it has affected my relationships and how i trust ppl!

    Source(s): personal experience
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The best thing you can do is first, vow that you will be hyper vigilant so it doesn't happen again. Second, make sure your child gets counseling to help him/her get over it, or at least minimize the emotional damage. Third, has the offending party been reported? If that person is punished the child will feel more secure. Fourth, get some counseling for yourself because your attitude might affect your child's emotional well-being. It's a bad situation all around, so since you're the adult and protector of this child you need to do as much as you can to minimize the damage.

  • 1 decade ago

    first,the parents should be cool down,accepting the fact which has happened. Because there are more vital things that waiting for you to fight and help.

    The parents survive the kids from the depressive mood,motivating them to become more stronger,so that they can have another opportunity to create their bright future.

    It is necessary for the parent to take their children to conduct a full body check in that it can secure the health of the children.

    there is no doubt that the court can assist the persons who suffer molestation. The parents can ask some consultations from the professionals to protect their suffered children.

    all in all, at that time, the cares and understanding of parents are the most importance to the children.Keep in mind that the parents are the true friends of the children.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have found one answer to this: You don't ever get over it. My bro was raped and then molested by this person for years (10-13) as a pre-teen. He tried to deal with it (asked folks to change phone # which they did but not to unlisted and this person threatened to kill my sister) It affected him so greatly that his life has been altered, permanently. He is a great guy but his mind was played with when this happened... a kid forming his life views,plans, and goals. He lost all hope within. I will not go on with the sob story but not only was he broken by this... our entire family was affected. My heart breaks daily due to the ramifications it caused him and us. I truly believe that the only way to get healed by the devastation of a pedophile is by turning the pain over to Christ... as this was a sin committed against helpless victim... and a sin that changed the direction of many lives. A good totally bible based non-denominational christian church may be of help in guiding the right direction: to Jesus Christ who died on the cross for that awful sin. (and every sin for that matter). Please do not think I am a wacked out Christian... I am only trying to give you the only Truth that will help one move forward into a life being healed of the great pain and sorrow molestation brings. It truly is the only hope... it is impossible for man to really do this on his own. God can and will help those who seek this. It is what he died for...

    (Churches such as : a spirit filled non denominational....four square, calvary chapels, vineyard christian fellowships) . Call for prayer on TBN/ Trinity Broadcasting Network @ 1-888-731-1000. I will let you know , this tv network carrys many religious programs- some I myself will agree with and some I may have conflict with- this is ok- they will steer you right in prayer and to a right church(es) in your area if needed. The foundation of this network programs are all based on Christ.

    The other thing i can suggest is a Christian bookstore with a section dealing with these issues... and there are books written about this topic that would be valuable.

    My bro has struggled w/drugs most of his life and he is now 38- without a doubt, the molestation was the catalyst that placed him where he is today. Without a doubt, Jesus has become his best friend and he is slowly but surely doing better day by day. Not always for easy him but at least he has some peace. The pain is still here for my family.... and yes for my bro who I love dearly, he would not have any comfort if it was not for his relationship with Jesus Christ.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't. You move on. You let other parts of your life keep you busy.

    I was molested by my mother's father, and I told her about it when I was about age 20. I reget telling her, because now she is burdened with what I revealed to her. Before this, she had always had this great love and respect for her father, and now the slightest thought of him makes her want to cry. I'm so sad that I made her feel this way, but I HAD to tell her. I would've killed myself if I didn't tell SOMEONE.

  • Jen22
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    My step sister, step brother, step cousin, were molested by their grandfather and the step uncle got me too. I know my step dad will never speak to his father again which he is now in prison and so is my step uncle for what they did. They all got counseling, and some spiritual advice. I know it's all in the back of their minds and they'll never get over it completely but they have moved on and all have beautiful kids too. It really sux, lemme tell you. If i ever catch my step uncle out of prison I'm gonna punch him for what he did to me and my sister!

  • 1 decade ago

    My mother has never gotten over what happened to me, and it was 25 years ago. She is constantly apologizing to me for letting her step brother babysit me. She beats herself up eventhough I have explained to her that I don't harbor any ill will to her because she did what she thought was best. There was no way for her to know he was a pervert.

  • 1 decade ago

    it may never go away, but try counseling or a support group to help cope with it.

    GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS

  • 1 decade ago

    My 12yo daughter was raped 5 days ago.It isn't easy...

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