Swill asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Looking for my sister?

Kay, here's a fun question for you guys.

My father had a child when he was a senior in highschool, but put it up for adoption. He doesn't know who adopted her though. I know her first name, what age she would be around, what color hair she probably has, and what hospital she was born in. Although I realize the best way to try to find her would be to ask my father what the name of the woman was who he had the child with, I am no longer on good terms with him, and the chances of me and him making up, let alone discussing this subject, are very small. Is there any way I could try to locate her?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    Was your sister adopted through a person or an agency?

    Here's some things to think about:

    1. Do you know if she knows she is adopted?

    2. Have you considered how she might feel on this matter? I am adopted, found my birth family, and discovered that rather having younger half brothers and sisters, I have older full-blooded brothers and sisters. One of my siblings actively tried to find me but was told by a P.I. that since the records were sealed, there was no legal way to find me. Now then, even though I eventually decided to find my birth mother and am happy I did, I thought about having my siblings intrude upon my life before I was ready and before I even knew I had older siblings. I thought about the ways it might have happened--a knock on the door, a phone call, an official letter in the mail--and considered how this contact would've occurred when I was a teen. I don't know that I would've been too happy to have such an intrusion in my life especially considering I wasn't yet ready to actively find my birth mother.

    What I'm trying to say here is think about it from her perspective before you actively try to find her. Also think about it from your father's perspective. Does he want to have her in his life?

    My birth father never wanted me even after he learned I was trying to locate my birth mother. Even though he nor I wanted contact and my birth parents are divorced, because of my siblings, he and I do have contact to a degree. I'm fine with the fact that he wanted my birth mother to have an abortion and that he never wanted contact with me. I have a loving, wonderful dad and am a happy, stable, well-loved individual who has a family who loves me dearly, so my birth father's rejection of me didn't hurt. In fact, I was and am great full he doesn't want to be a father to me.

    What about how your father is going to react to having his long lost daughter back in his life? How does he feel about her existence? Did he even want her to be born? If he did, did he care what happened to her? Did he want her? Or did he see her as a mistake and interruption in his freedom?

    By trying to find your sister, you are opening up the mythical Pandora's Box. There is so much involved in searching for an adopted child, sibling, parent.

    My story has a happy ending. In fact, it wasn't more than 2 hours ago that I spoke to my birth mother on the phone. I have a relationship with my siblings and my nieces and nephews. I even have a relationship with an uncle and cousin.

    Then there's my brother. His birth mother still blames him for her getting pregnant with him and her getting kicked out of the military because of being an unwed mother. What would've happened if instead of having the adoption agency send a certified letter to her, my brother had just knocked on her door or called her?

    I realize that you long to find your sister. I also realize that you may have thought about all of these things already. I also realize that I didn't answer your question ;-).

    Good luck. May your search be fruitful and have a happy ending.

    Source(s): adopted child who found her birth family
  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know what the systems like where you live but in Australia when a parent is still alive i don't think you can get access to adoption papers. Maybe an ad in papers as you have so much information or on the net at a site like www.peoplesearch.com.au

    peoplesearch.reunion.com

    www.xanga.com

    best wishes and good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Go to the birth records office of the county where the hospital is located. Ask to read the birth certificates. It shouldn't take more than an afternoon.

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