Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

How do I accept that he's just not healthy for me?

how do i accept that someone i have strong feelings for is really not mentally stable and is VERY unhealthy for me? How do i sever the cord from caring? I know that TIME is involved... but what can I do, day-by-day, until I'm better? He's already gone... I just need to accept it and stop obsessing. Advice would be amazing. :-)

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I don't really know if you ever stop "caring". One thing you can do is look at the good things you do for YOU in your daily life that you might not notice unless you make a conscious effort to. We often overlook all of the good things we do, no matter how little. Yes, it does take time and is really easy for others to say to accept it. That is quite often easier said than done. You can begin to go out with friends or do things that you like to do more often that perhaps you were not able to do as much or realize your freedom from worry while you are doing these things. There is also a very good book called "It's a Break Up Because It's Broken". It helped me look at things differently. When it comes to the heart I think the process of healing is different for everyone. I hope you do find ways to accept what you need to. Good luck and I am sorry you are going through this right now~

  • 1 decade ago

    When the mind is busy thinking of other positive things , it is hard to dwell on the negative ones.

    I have always advised when times are toughest, try to volunteer somewhere where you can help others in need. You get a whole new perspective on life.. And, it feels wonderful!..

    looking back doesn't help.. what you are longing for is missing the what if's. the could have beens .. if only's..

    It didn't. ..but, that isn't the end of YOUR life, it may be the biggest beginning and opportunity for growth you've ever had!

    Also, i find if i journal it is very healing too. and, gives you something at times to reread and contemplate your progress through the tough times.. and a guide to where you are in life..

    I am writing my life story,and using much of the journaling i did. You took a major leap in recognizing he wasn't healthy.. that took great courage and strength.. Many don't have their eyes so open to the truths.. you can't be free till you are..

    You'll be ok.. keep busy.. and, perhaps consider getting a Cat or dog.. .

  • 1 decade ago

    I know this is going to be hard to do, but pick up the phone. Call a friend and go out for the evening. Go shopping. Go to a movie. Do whatever it takes to occupy your time until the day comes when you really can't remember why you ever cared for the guy in the first place.

  • 1 decade ago

    The time that takes forever is after you sever ties. Break ties immediatly and dont look back. Its the absolute only way to get over it. Throw away letters, pictures, and presents they will only cause more pain. I sadly have a lot of experience in the whole getting over someone thing.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Counseling could help. Keeping busy. If you have the predisposition to be a worrier/ruminative, then it is hard to "turn the brain off," so to speak. If it is too hard and has been a few months, you could consider talking to a doctor about an antidepressant.

  • 1 decade ago

    realizing it is already the first step i know this may sound so

    conventional but try to move on , talk to friends, start a hobby,

    do volunteer work, pray, socialize more if it does not work try

    theraphy good luck and TIME really does heal

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you can only accept it when you decide to set the bar higher when it comes to men. when you realize that you do not want whats unhealthy, mentally unstable.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think we obsess because it's easier to worry about someone else rather than ourselves. You will never stop caring about him, but once you define yourself, it won't hurt you so.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My advice is: you just need to accept it and stop obsessing.

  • 1 decade ago

    remember this phrase : i would die for you but i won't live for you.

    no matter what you do, you can't make them healthy; unfortunately your actions will only hurt you, and not change him.

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