My Spirit is Broken.......Advice Please?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We are highschool sweetherts. He has always treated me like dirt, and cheated on me. Yet I always took him back because I was in love with him. Last year, I found out he slept with someone I knew and grew up with. Since then, I have gained 55 pounds, and am a bit chunky. I eat when depressed or angry. Just now, he said he wanted us to be over, and said HORRIBLE things, calling me a fat ***, making fun of the clothes I wear, calling me a "B". One thing I will quote he said is, "Who in the hell would look at you? You aren't going to get any guys! You're nothing but a "f-ing" ugly fat ***!"
That cut me so deeply, and to top it all off, I have a upper respiritory infection, and feel miserable! I feel like I could just stay in bed forever, and I am already on Paxil for depression. I know they are only words, but after 8 years, and looking into his eyes, he really feels this way about me!!! Does anyone have advice to move on? God Bless!
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
being "a bit chunky" as you say, doesn't mean you are not still attractive, but I always run away real fast from women who take Paxil
- 1 decade ago
Oh honey I am so sorry!! I know it hurts so dang much right now and you are going through hell, but I PROMISEPROMISEPROMISE... time will heal it. I can't believe he said those things to you!! I really think you should get into therapy, If he made you feel so low that you had to go on Paxil!! And I can't believe you took him back all those times!! You honestly should have left after the name calling... and the cheating!! Don't EVEN get me started on that one!! You are a wonderful girl with a heart of gold, and NO One deserves that!! You really NEED to work on self esteem issues too, some suggestions... shopping, friends, going out.. whatever you do don't call him, text him, email him, or have any contact with him whatsoever... and don't answer any of his calls, texts,emails. If you must, give your phone to someone you trust for a lil while if you feel like your gonna call him or turn it off and put it in the trunk of your car when your driving or even when your at home.. believe me, ive had to do that a time or two. Its still there if you need it. Better yet, change your phone number.. you need to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction from him. What he was doing to you was text book emotional abuse.. and we don't even know all the details!!!!!!
- revsuzanneLv 71 decade ago
Get angry and get over him.
Give the b@stard what he wants... a divorce.
He lives to kick you while you are down. He is abusive on many levels. This situation will never improve... it will only continue to deteriorate. His cheating on you will eventually result in you catching a disease from one of his conquests. Are you going to wait until he gets physically violent?
Get out now.
Clean out the bank accounts you have access to, and start a completely new account at a different bank.
Start collecting any financial statements that hit the mailbox... including his 401K statements, CDs, IRAs, paycheck stubs and any tax records from prior years. You are now building a case. Hit the bookstore, buy the DIY divorce guide for your state, read that, go to your state's website and download the PDF forms, and fill them out. Filing for divorce will only cost a couple hundred dollars. You deserve and will get 1/2 of all assets accrued during the time you have been together. He really needs to lose his shirt after all he's put you through.
For the upper respiratory... hit the grocery store and get some fresh ginger roots... slice them thin, boil them in water, and drink that tea with a little honey. Other additional cures include oregano oil gelcaps. Get the Holy Basil gelcaps (from New Chapter)... those will not only kill an infection, but will lift the cloud off your head.
Now... for the weight loss... hit the used book stores and pick up the Suzanne Somers' "Somercise" weight loss program books. It is super easy, lots of variety... you will love it. Get the Somersweet from her website... you will want to make the cheesecake recipe. Get skinny and get fabulous.
Go make a new life for yourself.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
What came to mind when I read you plight was he didn't deserve you for all the years you were good to him. It seems to me like he's a selfish person, and I know it's hard to think like this about someone you've obviously loved for so long, that probably feels better about himself by making others feel like junk.
Trust me when I say that someone as loyal and loving as you can't possibly be a waste of a person. Don't beat yourself up over your problems. Everyone has problems. Your ex-boyfriend just seems to have tricked you into thinking it's all you and none of him.
Truthfully, it sounds like it's more him than anyone else.
It sounds like what you really need is a vacation for a bit. Take a few friends and leave town for a few days or even a week. Get away from all the garbage that's making you feel bad and rediscover yourself. Try not to think about him and, if he calls you, don't answer. Make the time you spend all about you and enjoy the time with your friends.
Don't fret about your "problems". They aren't really problems. If you aren't happy with your weight...you can't work on it. I can tell you though, that different guys like different types of women so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Concerning your depression and how you get down on yourself, you just need to realize that you are a wonderful person and patient to a fault -- as you proved with him.
Never forget that you are a daughter of God as we are all his children. Do you really think that he would've created you in a way that wouldn't be pleasing to him?
So go, take a vacation and recharge your batteries. Remove yourself from him because, whether you love him or not, he isn't healthy for you.
I believe in Karma and it seems to me like you are due for a wonderful turn of events.
Good luck!Source(s): I've been there and had to learn from it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You should have moved on a long time ago. Think about it this way. He ruined your life. Everything bad that happened in the past is his fault. Now you can start a new better life. Your cancer was cured. Now the sky is the limit. Things can only get better from here. Take better care of yourself now because you are worth being taken care of. You'll find the guy that deserves you after time. Probably by the time you are healthy physically you'll be ready emotionally for a new guy.
- 1 decade ago
Please move on. I understand there is so much history from being with a guy for so long who was your high school sweetheart, but there can't be anymore sense than to put this guy in his place, and in the past. If it is over, then thats probably the best thing that could have ever happened to you between the two of you, because he sounds like nothing but a twisted, ungrateful and heartless piece of sh-----t. They are not only words honey, they define his disgusting personality, and the sorry way he likes to express his anger, and hurt others with no consideration for one's feelings, especially you who he's obviously known for so long.
Please realize this again:
He slept with someone, someone you knew a long time,
He makes fun of you,
Treats you like a piece of sh-----t, calling you a b-----tch
Degrades you and tries to lower your self-esteem
It isn't true about not getting any other guys. There are alot of nice guys out there, please know that and know there is more to life than hanging on to the memory of worthless whiny vermin like him.
Please feel better and forget him. You need not suffer under the hands of a f*ck. He'll get his some day, he'll see.
- krollohare2Lv 71 decade ago
Looks aren't everything. Your boyfriend is a butt-bung. You need to start feeling better about yourself so you won't have to take Paxil. And you need to start dieting, getting healthy and working out.
As far as who would look at you? Like I said, looks go so far.
If you're a good person with a big heart, any guy who's reasonably interested will fall for you.
The boyfriend is an abuser and you need to get rid of him. Your brain is not depressed, he's dragging you down to the gutter and driving you to pills when you're young and probably don't need them without him.
If you're driven to medicines to make you feel better about yourself, just look around your environment. Do you ever remember taking Paxil before you dated this guy?
- 1 decade ago
If you're really worried about your weight, try this-- Do one lap, one sit up, or one pushup. The next day, add another. Then another. Take it one day at a time. And you know what? Sounds like this guy was an *** and a player. Forget him and watch for someone you can really click with. Ignore him, and don't let him talk to you. If he continues to harrass you, seek help from parents or a counselor. No matter if he thinks you're 'fat' or 'not going to get any guys' forget what he thinks. He's an ***. Know that you are GREAT for who you are.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
What do you want us to say? When you stay with a man who " has always treated you like dirt and cheated on you", why would you be so surprised by his current behavior? You need to dump this piece of slime and then work on your self esteem until you reach the point where you can attract a good and decent man. I know 8 years is a lot of time to throw away, but if you wish to be happy in the future, you must do it. It is vital to your happiness down the road...
- ReBelleLv 51 decade ago
you deserve so much better than this shallow, ***. Could part of the reason you stay be, that you believe him when he says no one else would want you? That's because he has succeeded in destroying your self worth and your faith in yourself. The only way to get yourself back is to turn to him, and tell him to go, it will be painful, but trust me here, Not only will other men look at you, they will ask you out and enjoy your company. As you feel better about yourself, the binging will ease and the weight problem will take care of itself. Only when you let this fool go will you begin to heal and find you are not only worth more than he'll ever deserve, but you'll find you like yourself a whole lot more also!