Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 1 decade ago

I need some advice serious advice ?

i think i love this guy . i have for about 5 yrs . i have never said anything to him there is a big age difference and he recently got married. what can i do to get over him ? i need serious advice i dont want some snide remark. i know my feelings r wrong now and i need help to get over him plz help. he knew i had a crush on him but he didnt know much else we havent been in contact for a few yrs either but i still feel the same way.PLZ READ THE WHOLE QUESTION B4 U ANSWER!!!!!!

i want to talk to a therapist but id have to let my parents know that i want to go bcuz they wud b paying and they wud want a whole explanation as to y and i cant tell them this cuz they wud freak out at me.

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You can always talk to a pastor, or priest or someone like that. Good Luck!

  • John
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago


    Never run from someone to someone ..... It takes time to heal .... but you had a great guy influence you, your feelings and you saw the way it should be done .... Do you now know how you want a guy to treat you .... how you wish to be respected?

    Then the heart ache was worth it ..... you learned ..... no that you have a pattern .....a idea so to speak ... you can look around you when you meet people to see how folks measure up ... over time your views and wants & needs may change .... but you have personal knowledge of this man to contrast & compare to others along your life path ....

    A person who's better suited for you (closer in age) will come along ..... i pitty the fool ... he has large shoes to fill .....

    But I bet he will think your worth it.

    If your in school ... try the counsilor for a referal on who to talk with, there may be peer counsiling groups too, the Church can help ..... last shot get the parents to check the medical benefits .... but your best shot here ... is time and meeting new people.

    Good Luck

  • 4 years ago

    dear i really don't have a perfect advice for you... but there is one thing you got to know, put God first on everything you are doing nd He will help you find the right way to go. In this situation you need to take your time, try to settle down a little, try to go to college and get a degree, i know there is no love without sacrifices but it depends on how strong you nd your bf are. if you guys really love each other, you can stop seeing each other for a while, or do it secretly. try to get ready for your future nd once u have a good education nd a job on hand nothing can't stop you. but you have to be really strong to do such a thing. You guys can still be dating but don't tell anything to your parents, cause if you guys leave your parents...i guarantee you , there is gonna a lot more bumps along the road than there is now.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Look, your feelings aren't "wrong". You can't have "wrong feelings". What's "right" or "wrong" is how you ACT.

    It's hard to move on, I know, but you have to. You have to set your mind to forgetting about him. Go see a movie, eat some chocolate, shop, get your nails done... anything that makes you happy and will be good for you. Excersize. Nothing like endorphins! Let time work its magic.

    And truthfully, a part of your heart's probably always going to belong to him. But don't let him have more than that.

    As far as therapy goes, why don't you just tell your parents you need to see one? If they push for a reason, just say you're confused, or that you'd rather not tell them. Hopefully they'll understand.

    I wish you all the best. Hang in there.

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  • 4 years ago

    Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage

    However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

    You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Do talk to a priest. Or there are free counselling depending where you live ask your doctor coz this can be re freed to a therapist with no cost to you and your parents don't have to find out. I admire you for not getting in between the two. That's the hardest thing anyone can do.

    Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    0nly time can deal with this. But you need to see it as an act of will. " He is now married therefore I will not interfere"

    You MAY be able to see a therapist on the NHS.

    If not, contact a local minister (Your Salvation Army 0fficers are likely to be an undestanding married couple)

    I hope that you get no snide remarks, and wish you well.

  • FILO
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Just find some one new. Don't dwell on past feelings. Just let it go. Let your dream lover go, if you still love him. The things is you didn't act on it when the guy knew about it. But if he has a girl friend then, it still wouldn't work out for both of you. Date some one new. Give yourself a chance.

  • 1 decade ago

    My best advice is that before he even got married; you have the choice of telling him the truth but not you don't want to hurt him or his wife so I would try to get over him if I were you!

  • 1 decade ago

    there are a few things you need to figure out. and look deep inside yourself and dont lie to yourself. Is he your true match? You will know if he is, you wont think. Do you think he is happy with his wife? if he is, you should be happy for him, no matter how much you love him. If you are trully hapy that he is happy, then you really really really love him. you will have to wait now, since you didnt do anything before. you dont have to talk to him about it until you have figured out these questions. if you need any more advice on anything, add me to you list and send me an email.

    Source(s): your feelings are not wrong. they are natural.
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