White Sapphire as an engagement ring?
I told my boyfriend that after watching the movie Blood Diamond, I DO NOT want a diamond engagement ring. However, now that I know he's about to propose with a gemstone(white topaz or white sapphire) I kinda wonder if people will think he's being cheap. Is that crazy?! I really don't know why I care what others will think anyway. But is that kinda saying our relationship isnt the "real thing"?
I'm tripping...I really DONt care what others think...I'm just such an activist and so anti-traditional, I just worry if I should stop and "conform" to the usual wedding traditions.
Thanks guys for the great advice and assurance. The whole wedding thing is new and I just wasn't 100% positive. But after reading what sapphires and/or blue topaz represent I'm much more confident in choosing a non-diamond to represent the non-traditional couple that we are. Thanks!!
- greeneyes_bjbLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
Clearly, you care at least a little bit about what others think, ot you wouldn't be saying "I wonder if people will think he's being cheap." If you didn't care, you wouldn't even think about it.
The bottom line is this - an engagement ring is a symbol of a promise - nothing more, nothing less. That symbol can be whatever you want it to be. If you'd prefer an engagement ring with a gemstone, with a fake stone or with no stone, the symbol is the same. Heck, if you want an engagement necklace instead, that's up to you and your boyfriend. Women probably will say something (perhaps not directly to you) if you don't have the traditional diamond engagement ring. Women talk about other women, and most women talk about other women's engagement rings. If you had a huge diamond, they'd talk; if you had a tiny diamond, they'd talk; and if you have no diamond, they'll talk. You can't let that play a role in your decision.
The symbol of your engagement is about you and your boyfriend. Period. Tradition and other people's opinions shouldn't play a role in this.
- MaryLv 44 years ago
I think that is a lovely ring, and I really do enjoy white sapphires (and that setting is gorgeous). They are very white, and in certain lights may have a blue-ish, or almost lavender tint to them. A high quality sapphire will be very clear, although lower grades/cuts can look a little "cloudy" or "milky" at times. They give off plenty of "sparkle", and only a very little bit of "fire". Sapphires are very hard stones (about an 8 on the hardness scale), which makes them quite durable. 10k gold is actually an excellent choice for a ring you will be wearing every day... it has a lower gold content, making it much "harder", and will not scratch/dent/bend nearly so easily as a higher grade gold (like 14k) will. It can be sized just as easily as any other ring, by almost any jeweler. As far as suggesting shopping together for your ring with your future fiancee, you can bring it up in a conversation about marriage if you wish ("I'd love to show you a few rings that I've seen that I like!" or something along those lines). Show him some of the rings that have caught your eye, even if it's just this one. If he sees how much you love this one, he'll probably go ahead with it. You'll still be surprised by the proposal, I'm sure... so it's not like you're ruining the thrill by helping him find the perfect ring. ;)
- 1 decade ago
How about, instead of a white gemstone, which might seem to you or others as a "fake" or "cheap" diamond, go with something altogether different, like a blue sapphire or emerald or ruby or anything that you find beautiful or meaningful.
www.brilliantearth.com has some amazing sapphire engagement rings just to get an idea (not to mention conflict-free diamonds and eco-friendly gold). I don't think anyone will think you guys are cheap or that you're not the real thing. It's original and interesting. Like you said, you don't really care what they say anyway! Congratulations and best wishes!!!
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- MimiLv 71 decade ago
Haha. I totally understand why you would not want a diamond after watching that movie!
If you want something else, then tell him. Who cares if other people think he's cheap. They prob have NO idea about the ludicrous/political/murderous trade that is diamond trading.
They need to rent that movie!
Your relationship is the real thing with or without a ring. Having something other than a diamond engagement ring doesn't make you any less engaged.
- LisaLv 51 decade ago
People will not think he's being cheap because he's giving you what you asked for. A diamond has NOTHING to do with the relationship. Love is love with or without a diamond, a sapphire or any other gemstone.
The jewelers and the diamond industries have marketed diamonds to make us believe that the diamond shows "he truly loves us" yada yada yada. Get the ring you want and don't worry about what others might think.
Congrats on your future engagement! Best of luck to you!
- 1 decade ago
I don't know why you're worried about the dollar amount, it's the symbolism that matters. Truly most guys buy the diamond and most women want the diamond because that's just tradition. I've always leaned toward making it more personal anyway. I can't tell you how hard my husband had to search to find something unique for me, and then how long we both searched for a unique wedding band for him. I've always felt more special because I know the trouble he went through to find something so personal to me (and trust me he didn't save one penny). If there really is a difference in the price, spend the extra on the honeymoon. Truly if you're stuck on the financial part (which kind of worries me) you can have him have a ring custom made, a stone custom cut, etc.
- LydiaLv 71 decade ago
It doesn't matter at all what the stone is. There are totally lovely rings out there with all kinds of gems. I recently just bought myself a pink topaz with diamond shoulder stones - just for a dress ring - and thought what a pretty engagement ring it would be! I love my diamond engagement and wedding rings because my husband chose them, though!
Just so you know, though, not all diamonds are 'blood' diamonds. There are perfectly wonderful diamonds, such as polar diamonds from Canada, which are mined regularly.
- ShouldBeWorkingLv 61 decade ago
Well I don't know what people in general think, but I know a few people (at work, friends of friends, etc) who didn't do a diamond as their engagement ring either. One did a white saphire, and I know one girl who did a blue topaz. I'm not sure exactly of the symbol, of either, but it was what the girls wanted.
- 1 decade ago
An engagement ring doesn't HAVE to be a diamond. If you don't agree with diamonds, don't wear one. And at least you'll have an interesting story to tell about your ring. Pick out what you want, you do have to wear it for the rest of your life. You want to be happy with it. :)