My childhood was a veritable orgy of delight. The first day of Kindergarten, I had my first playground romance, with a girl named "Melody." There we were, kissing each other by the swing set. That was a Wednesday. We were on the rocks by Friday, and I was out there swingin' again with another babe the following Monday. At my 10-year high school reunion, a couple of women "refreshed my memory" of my looking up their little dresses in kindergarten. And they weren't at all offended. In fact, they seemed to look back at it more fondly than I.
This was 1971. I would hate to be in kindergarten today, as I'd be the youngest registered sex offender in my state. Hordes of overprotective parents would be lurking in front of my house with torches and battering rams. Really, to bust a kid for kissing a girl (or looking up her dress) is deplorable. Fortunately, I'm no longer into 5-year olds, so this is no concern of mine.
Anyway, during the subsequent "latency" years, I wrote "GIRLS ROT" on the steamed up school bus windows. No misogyny, of course - it was in response to the "BOYS ROT" propaganda on the other side of the bus.
Then came puberty, and that's when all the trouble began. You know that "Birds and Bees" lecture they give in 6th grade? Well I'm convinced that the girls got much more comprehensive training than the boys got, because suddenly, they started MANIPULATING the livin' sh!t out of the boys.
Today, older and wiser, I'm almost fully versed in the wiles of the manipulatrix. I call it when I see it. Fortunately, I only have to police one woman, and she's relatively gentle in her manipulations. Oh God, this is starting to sound sexual again.
It's time to get into bed and see if I can get a little 'manipulating' tonight.
So "true" "patriot", while I'm gettin' some lovin', tell us all about your absolutely fabulous childhood. Or did it suck like I suspect?
Troll-Shark™ - Lovin' the ladies since 1971