Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

do you i should have a baby by a 19 year old im 17 and finish skool but he just got of jail what you think?

nuthun

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    DON'T DO IT! Don't have kids till you are at least 25. Give yourself till then and then rethink it. Assess your situation and your, most likely different, relationship and increase the age if necessary. I know you really feel like you guys will be together forever, but in reality you most likely won't. I fell into those kinds of relationships before. Looking back now, I thank god I didn't have any kids with those guys. I know it feels like the real thing, but you are too young. You will regret not having taken more time to grow up. I'm 32 and am still maturing. I did most of my maturing at 28. 3 yrs. after my first child. 3 yrs. after I got married. I do wish I would have waited a little longer than 25 before having kids. I should have traveled and just lived life more. Kids are way more of a responsibility than you think. I only stayed sane through my first one because I had help from my mother. A 19 yr. old guy is just a young man. He needs to live more life first too. You really want to see what kind of direction he is going to go in his life. You need to see if he can make it through probation without messing up again. It's really something you need to find out about someone before you have kids w/ them. You don't want to be responsible for kids until you are both responsible for yourselves. When you have kids you want the world for them. You want better than you got for them. You will want them to be fine, outstanding citizens who make a positive contribution in their community. It will be impossible if you weren't ready to have them. Please wait.

    EDIT: And just because someone has been to jail doesn't mean they can't learn their lesson and become responsible adults. Before we met, my husband was convicted of a felony. His charge was grand theft auto. He successfully completed his parole and had learned in prison that it was one place he would never return to. There is no other man I can imagine being married to and he is a very good role model for my kids. If my son turns out to be half the man he is, he will be doing well. The percentage of people that don't return is very small. But it is possible. You can give him a chance to do right. If he doesn't though you need to move on. There is no future with a person like that. You and your children will never come first to him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Babies are very expensive. Its very hard to raise a kid on a min. wage job. If you don't go to college that's about all you can get now. Jobs are hard to find, so they're looking for people with an education, they know will and can do the job right. Seeing as how he's been in jail once, most people if they go once it will happen again, therefore you will probably be raising the baby on your own. Lets figure in some expenses:

    Diapers:10-20 bucks every say uumm 2 weeks

    Wipes: 3-10 bucks every 2 week-a month

    Daycare: around 75 a child(you will need this to work)

    Formula: around 12 bucks a can(for powder)

    this is just everyday basic, that's no medical care and all. I think you should really further your education and let the babies wait for a while. You're 17 you have your whole life ahead of you to make a family. Enjoy life as a teen for now. And i would suggest not even considering having a child without someone you're not sure will be there to help raise them and support them. You need more than a sperm donor for you child, you need a dad. So serious consider how crazy this sounds, and wait on it.

  • 1 decade ago

    I hope you are not pregnant. The guy just got out of jail... and what for. How long before he goes back. What kind of father can he be if he is in jail?? You are too young to be throwing away your life. A child does not make things better. 18+ years you will be taking care of this child, plus the ones that follow. Enjoy your life. This is your last chance of being free. Work takes up so much of your time and then the bills. You do not want to be working 2 dead end jobs just to be taking care of a kid, and there is a good chance that you will be doing it on your own. Think about it. Think of all the pros and cons about this situation...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your body is not done maturing/growing yet at the age of 17,

    and having a baby at that age could permanently injure you, not to mention any birth complications.

    Once you have a child, you are no longer a free person. You would have to take care of the child for at least 18 years, then potentially have it move home again, as well as any offspring that child may "acidentially" produce.

    You should enjoy life while you can, and later in life when you are able to pass on valuable knowledge then you start thinking about babys :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Judging by the grammar you used in your question I think a baby should be the last thing on your mind. The fact that he just got out of JAIL means you should really re-think your choice in boys. You have your whole life ahead of you, and from what I can tell it does not seem like any one has taken the time to tell you how truly precious you are. As a mother I am telling you to wait, go to school and find a better class of guys, oh and while you are doing all of this make sure to learn to respect yourself!

  • 1 decade ago

    girl are you crazy!!!???!!! i had my child at 19 and it has been a long hard road! his father had nothing to do with him he kept getting in trouble. so do not do it, if i could do it all over again i would have gone to college and gotten a degree.if you don't graduate the it will be harder for you later in life. besides you want to be an indapendat woman and be able to provide for you children alone later if you should have to. if loverboy messes up and he is in jail, who will help you with a baby?? go to the welfare office and look at all the kids who have no dad (jailled)! you don't want that.

  • 1 decade ago

    If your really in love i think you should but you might want to think about college and think what your going to want in life then just getting prego so yea you might want to think about it before it happends cuz you got to relize you still have a long life to live and everything ask yourself "am i really ready?" Cuz You need to think about how your going to support it. but you also dont want that much stress cuz you wont get all the money you want working at a fast food joint

  • 1 decade ago

    The lesser of all things requires for procreation are decent grammar skills. A good job and secure home environment are at the top of the list. I imagine you have none of those things.

    Iam going to venture to say you should not have children yet.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Please tell me you're really a recruiter for the Jerry Springer Show and not serious...

    Why don't you just go out and find an already really screwed up, illiterate and poverty-stricken child and pretend it's yours? It's cheaper, and since that's the result you'd end up with anyway, you can just skip to the last chapter.

  • JJ
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Sounds like a freaking great idea!

    That is called sarcasm. Sure, kiss your life away at 17. Having a baby at that age makes everything soooo easy. More sarcasm.

    Stay away from the ex con, finish school, and go to college. No sarcasm.

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