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Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Question for generally positive, happy, upbeat, outgoing people?

If you are positive person, usually happy, upbeat and outgoing, always looking for the good in a situation.... how do you keep yourself that way? I'm struggling to be more positive and stop complaining. I find myself contantly complaining. I know part of it is my personality but part of it can be controlled. I want to have a positive outlook and not open my mouth at every little thing there is to complain about.

Any tips and advice I would appreciate!

17 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I try to look at all the perspectives of a situation. I ask all the "what-if's". Such as... what if this person is having a really bad day and that is why they are being pissy... or what if this person's car has some mechanical defect and that is why they are driving sooooooo slow...Especially when someone makes me mad or if some crisis comes my way.

    If it is something bad that is happening to you, you have to look at how bad it actually is... you have a car crash... that is pretty bad, but your alive, so it could've been worse! Or you spill coffee on your brand new blouse... at least you have a new blouse, you could be homeless and hungry... etc.

    If you just take a minute and think before speaking, you will usually find that you really have nothing to say, or you have something totally different to say, than your initial reaction.

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  • Anonymous
    3 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Change Your Life http://renditl.info/LawofAttractionGuide
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  • 1 decade ago

    I'm generally upbeat and positive but I do get bummed out and I complain about things, too. There is nothing abnormal about that unless you do it all the time. If you find that is the case, think about what it is you are getting upset about. Can you control it? Does it really have anything to do with you? If not, then step away and tell yourself it isn't worth your energy. That's what I do whenever I feel myself getting dragged down by a bad situation. It's all about how much you LET it effect you. You just have to retrain your thinking a bit. It will take some time but you can do it. Also, look at the people you surround yourself with. Are they complainers too? If so, try distancing yourself and find more upbeat people to spend you time with.. Their positive energy will rub off on you. Good luck!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Even the most positive of the persons isnt happy or upbeat and outgoing all the time. It is human to feel otherwise. What these people are good at is that, they have learnt how to overcome those moments of weakness.

    If you want to be like them,

    1. Stop lamenting on yourself. That is the first step you can take.

    2. The first few seconds are crucial. You got to stop yourself from reacting straigtaway. Every time you have this extreme urge to react, take a deep breath, hold it for a count of ten / twenty and slowly release it to a count of twenty.

    Try these, will definitely help

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hmm. Interesting question. I'm able to feel happy and upbeat, but i'm also good at just acting like i'm happy. There's no one on this earth that's happy all the time, but there are good actors. Being in difficult situations, and seeing how other people live in third-world countries can humble you, and make you feel wonderful about your situation. But in my oppinion, being happy comes from going through tough experiences, and bringing yourself back, changing you for the good.

    Hope This Helps.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow, you just explained me! lol. My thing is I really have to look at the situation or how I'm feeling and really think about it and think about what you're going to say. That's what I have to do. I'm a pretty upbeat, happy, hyper, positive person. and like you I can complain a bit. But yea, just try to stop and think before you say something and it should help! lol that's how I do it!

    Good Luck Sweetie!

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  • 1 decade ago

    You may not like this answer, but it is a learned experience from childhood. What I mean is that those individuals had some very basic needs met as a child and they were encouraged to look at the better things in life. It is a learned behavior. I would suggest that you start by doing some reading from your local book store or library. It is a start and you will be glad that you did. Some people are just unhappy about themselves or their past and they carry that "chip" on their shoulder. Get yourself involved in something that you like to do and look at all the great things that your doing and forget about the things that your unhappy with. Enjoy life, it is much too short as it is.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Part of it is maturity as well, kind of like the saying, "don't sweat the small stuff...", as you mature, you realize everything is small stuff.

    It helps to put things in context. You may say, "what's the worst outcome in this situation?" And when you think about it, it isn't generally that bad after all when you consider all the other things you have going for you.

    Meditation is also helpful. There is alot to be said for self awareness.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You've already taken the first step! When you see yourself as a "half glass empty" kind of person instead of "half glass full" type person, you've already done the biggest step--recognizing you have a negative outlook. Trust me, as I am sure you already know, the world has ENOUGH negatives to last about fifteen lifetimes. So looking for the good in a situation really helps. In that same vein, watching yourself for trigger words like "I can't"... also helps. Alot of people cut their own possibilities short by constantly using "but I can't ........." How do you know you can't if you've never tried? "I can't" is usually actually yourself saying... "I'm afraid to try." So get a little adventurous! Try new stuff! Go new places!! Try new foods!! Its an entire world of discovery out there!!

    Also remember... even negative experiences are positive. How you say? Well, they teach you the things you DON'T want and need in life. Let's say you're dating your 16th deadbeat in a row and keep going "WHY do I need this kind of man in my life?! What the hell am I trying to do to myself here?!" Well... you're TRYING to learn that you don't need someone that is a "deadbeat" to feel needed. You can partner with a good person and be together because you WANT to be, not because you NEED to be. This is just one example, but begin working on seeing "negatives" for their "positive learning experience" instead of being the "worst possible thing in the whole world!!!"

    Also remember, people are drama addicts in today's world. If you don't believe me, look at modern TV! Look for those places where you seek out negatives just to make life more interesting... and weed them OUT of the garden of your life! Treat your life and person and home with respect!! Treat it like a sanctuary!! You work hard for your home and life, treat it like its worth treating well! You'll soon see your attitude changing--but remember patience too. It takes at least 21 days for any thought pattern or behavior pattern to change into a "habit." So be gentle with yourself.

    Good luck and I hope this helps!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It is all to do with trying to find the positive and focusing on that. Or to take the negative stuff and try to make it something positive. Hang around more positive people to help you out. As they say misery loves company.

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