which is better for my Lit. class?
Please pick on of the two...
Carefully picking up the pieces of glass
she was again reminded of her broken past
her framed memories from so long ago
If only she knew that time would go so fast
Quickly running from those left behind
the ones she left were not so kind
she nevr knew what she had lost
she would head home, if she were not so blind.
The poem sould be like AABA
I would change it, but cant...Haha oh, and whats a good name for the first one?
- Bill NLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
It might be interesting to make the pattern ABAA. You'd have to change a few words, but I think it would be a bit more flowing that way.
Or maybe you could shorten the first one but keep the original AABA pattern....like this
Carefully picking up pieces of glass
Reminded of her broken past
Framed memories from long ago
Knowing that time slips by fast
Running from those left far behind
Leaving the ones who were not kind
Never knowing what she had lost
She'd head home but she is blind.
That is, if you wanna do this. This seems a bit more streamlined and not as wordy. Hope this helps ya.
- 1 decade ago
I liked the second one. The beat is more catchy and the words more meaningful thatn the first.Source(s): My brain...
- Holiday MagicLv 71 decade ago
They're both good, but I relate more to the first :)
- EileenLv 51 decade ago
the first one is more interesting.