Custody question?

Ok so my 2 1/2 year old daughter's dad lives in New York and we live in Florida. I want to get full custody of her and my husband and I want him to adopt her. We talked to someone who said if her father doesn't support her for a year then my husband will be able to adopt her without his permission. It has been over a year so now we are just waiting for us to get up the money to do it. I was thinking about my husband and I taking parenting classes not because were bad parents but just so we can learn anything new and if we should be doing anything different. Now my question is if we take these classes would that look bad for when we go to get custody and for him to adopt her or would it actually be a good thing in the case??


I was never married to her father.

He moved away.

When he comes around (ex. his birthday not hers though) I let him see her.

He knows how to contact her but doesn't.

I let his family see her whenever they want (they don't do jack for her either but they get time with her when THEY want it).

I filed for child support but they can't find him because he's hiding and working under the table for his uncle.

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, it will not go against you. Anything you can do to become a better parent is good.

    But having your ex husband's rights terminated is not a done deal. Because he has not paid child support in one year does not constitute abandonment. There is more to it than that.

    Did you give him access to the child?

    Did you move away or did he?

    Does he know how to reach you?

    You will have to hire an attorney to have him served. They will figure out how to have his rights terminated in your state. It will cost money and will take time. If you succeed, then you will be able to proceed with adoption. That also costs. You can expect possible fees in the $2000-$4000 range.

    Good luck!

    Source(s): Working in adoptions for 20 years
  • 1 decade ago

    Actually in the state of FL it is only 6 months that the parent did not support the child. File a petition for step-parent adoption and do a punitive search for the biological father. If the state can not find him to get child support you should have no problem going the correct routes and proving you did what the state requires to find him. The state does not require you to search through his family to find him so you won't even have to talk to them and dont worry about that part. I see you "know" where he is but would going about it the way the papers show it find him? I highly doubt it if the state can't do it. Also you can get the paper work on-line at for the adoption. It should not cost very much in filing fees to have it done. Also the parenting class would not harm you in any way and if anything it would help you.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would talk to a lawyer I'm not sure if it is the same in FL., but here in Michigan, it doesn't matter how long they have not contacted their children. My husband could NOT adopt my son w/o my ex signing over his rights, and he had not even seen my son for 2 years. Child support doesn't matter either, if they don't pay it, they still have rights to the child unfortunately!! As far as parenting classes, there is nothing wrong with it!! The best advice that I can give you is, just talk to a lawyer!! Good luck!!

  • LC
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Your husband will probably need to attend a class anyway as part of the process.

    You can't just terminate his rights. I suggest you contact an attorney, have the necessary papers drawn up, and have him served. The upside of this approach, besides the fact that it keeps the whole process legal, is that he has a set period of time (often 30 days) to make a decision. He can sign over his rights; which alleviates his responsibility for any type of child support and the need for him to feel compelled to visit his child. His other option is to exercise his rights; which tells the courts that he is willing to accept the responsibility of raising a child (which it sounds like he has no interest in) and will provide support. If he fails to do either of these things, his rights automatically terminate after the period expires.

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  • Done
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I would contact your adoption lawyer. If the birth father is listing on the birth certificate, it may be a little harder even if he has not supported her. But I don't think impossible. In fact when he hears how much back child support he owes, he will be more than willing to sign. Good luck

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