Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Fantasy vs cheating?

If emails, letters, cyber sex, phone sex etc are emotional forms of cheating then where do you draw the line of fantasy vs cheating?

If a fantasy is someone you or your spouse dream of having sex with, then is that not a form of emotional cheating?

Update:

Goodcook and gonefishing2 - you guys have completely missed the boat. If I have a personal issue that I discuss with someone then I am an 'emotional cheat'. Wow, go figure, I never saw that one coming.

Punxatawny Phill - you are spot on, we obviously think along the same lines. Do we come from the same country lol?

kc - not distant nor neglected, relationship very healthy on all levels.

Empress 1 - Yes I love my husband too.

Cursed Romantic & Stephen Hurt - you guys know exactly what you're talking about. Good on ya!

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hey its like this. Everyone has a fantasy at some point in their life. If they say they don't then they r lying. It is normal human nature to fantasize. The first part of ur ? would be considered cheating only if the other party sees it that way. Otherwise I don't see anything wrong with that. However on the same note my wife would see it as cheating so I refrain from doing that although the urge is there I respect her feelings. I feel it is harmless and just fantasy kinda like a kiss at a bar or friendly flirt with someone. Once the fantasy turns to reality (physical) then there is emotional cheating and physical cheating. I do not believe in emotional cheating becuz everything could be considered this. So that answers the 2ND part of ur ?. It all depends on the person and how they perceive emotional cheating but as for me I do not believe in it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ok firstly cyber sex and phone sex to me is still a bit of fantasy. But that really depends on how long the person has known the other person they are sharing things with. But heck that doesn't even really mean too much. I have known this guy for a while now I say a few years from a chatroom. I know he has a gf and we cyber sometimes and do phone too when I get the chance. But still he is a very private person and may share a few things about his roommate, gf, and even the chick he is seeing at the bar. But he pretty much closes the door on anything he doesn't wish to share. So its still a way to get off and that is that. I don't know how him or his gf defines what is cheating. But I say when its a quick release and you aren't divulging too much into personal things its just that fantasy. Just like with porn, you see some pics and movies and imagine yourseld doing that. Doesn't mean it will happen but its still something in your head that gets you off and to sleep faster.

    Now emails and even letters could just be a brief how are you doing nothing really cheating about that either. Especially if they are friends. So no cheating there. Its only cheating when the other person is talking about meeting and getting together for a real physical hookup. And even probably on an emotional level a bit when that other person wants to meet up and talk about more personal issues they aren't sharing with their partner.

    And as for your hypothetical question down there, no that is not emotional cheating. I mean if you dreamt of a hot celeb one night, how would that be considered emotional cheating? When you have not shared any sort of personal things with that person at all. I mean for emotional cheating to even occur the spouse or you has to build up a very open and trusting relationship with someone outside of the marriage or relationship. They seriously have to be the go to person for you or your partner to be able to share everything with. But if you or your partner hasn't even really met this other person before then its not cheating at all. Just a fleeting fantasy type of thought, that holds not much baring on you or your spouse's reality. Hopefully this helps.

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  • No one
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    No. What is emotional cheating anyway? I mean just because we get married we are not supposed to have any sexual thoughts about anyone? I must've missed the bus that took everyone back to the Quakers. Face it people and be honest with yourselves and least of all anyone on here. We have all had at some level some thought of being with someone else. That is natural, because I hope at least most of us are sexual beings. If not then how in the world have we had generation after generation?

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  • JustMe
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    The difference between fantasizing, and e-mails, phone sex, cyber sex, etc..... Is that with fantasy it is all in your mind. With the other things, there is an actual person receiving the e-mails and on the other side of the web cam or on the other side of the phone line. With a fantasy everything is about imagination. you make up the conversation and the sex, with the others, it's not made up, you are interacting with another person.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't see fantasy as cheating, as long as you are a person who doesn't fantasize so much that the line between reality and fantasy are blurred.

    I love my husband and think he's hot but if I feel like thinking of David Boreanaz, well, I will! And I'm sure my husband sometimes thinks of other people...I think it's natural. You're not dead just because you're married - you can still appreciate the opposite sex!

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Confused much? If your experiencing any neglect and distance in your relationship due to any of the things you mentioned in your question, then yeah I would say check into what is causing this distance between you and you loved one. A fantasy is just that a fantasy, like dreaming you can't control it. Having a healthy imagination never hurt anyone.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You have a good point there. I think with most people they feel that since they are not there touching or being there that it is not cheating. Some rationalize just like watching porn. Do they watch it to see how the movie ends or for other reasons? If for other reasons why do so many get aroused at watching someone have sex if they are not fantasizing about being there in the movie.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is. But if you are doing things together having to do with the fantasies then... wait... let me start over. Make yourself a part of his fantisies and vise versa. So send him the dirty emails, letters, phone calls, pix message him some random boob shot or dirtier, bait that hook with you! if he is watching porn, offer to "do what they are doing in the video and try to keep up."

    Also, communicate, is he fantisizing about a person or the situation. If he said the person, slap him across the room! j/k. If that's the case, tell him who you fantisize about. Most likely he will be offended and get jealous. that's when you bring it to his attention that it's the same situation.

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  • 1 decade ago

    MY Dear Friend

    I am trying to explain you about your question ,my dear WORLD is created by GOD for us and we are the main carectors of this world ,because a MAN and a WOMEN ,the two hands of this world and this world wants from us to create beauty on my surface but it is not possible ,while the opposite meaning is available in this world as when we says Pleasure the next says Sorrow, we say sweet other one says sour...etc. So actual pleasure is far away from your FANTASY discussion .

    Fantasy is a natural requirement of your body and if you are not fulfil it then your all body system is useless for you while ,you fulfil it ,in some cases ,those persons who are unable to fix it, in their life, they are fulfil their ,this requirement, in the Dreams or EMAILS,Letters or from Cyber Sex.

    Now this is not the matter of confusion ,if you are matured,then choose your partner and play that fantasy in live mode and in this way you are not tourchered from your emotions . I am giving you advise that the matter of world is so complicated and changed for each person .So please follow a system of forgetting and, leave all that bitter experiences.

    When I or my spouse is getting the age of adultness then naturally he is fulfil his requirements in the dreams but there is a point ,who is educated him for these Fantasy ,perhaps We are faulty there, because we are not creating a distance from our spouse,when we are fulfilling our Fantasy requirement, and the second one's are EMAILS,Letters,Cyber Sex is also take a major part for this. But you can't do for this ,So leave all that thinking and relexed yourself and promise me , you are not going to the above mentioned ares ,because these are the paths of your mentel Death while they lucrate you as a name of FANTASY.

    Cheating is called, when you are thinking that a person looted me with the wrong commitments but How is it possible ,you did that without your approvals.So leave it thinking about FANTASY ,because this is a matter of INTERNAL WORLD and only thinker is presented there not you or any other ,and you can't do anything about to control.

    Source(s): Self
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  • 4 years ago

    I wish its not going to be Edge vs Cena.. the match is going to such dick! i seen it like 500 hundred times already.. its time for some new feuds.. i would rather see Edge vs Big Show to be honest.. that would be a better match... Cena doesn't really deserve to main event ANOTHER Wrestlemania.. Wrestlemania 20 he beat the big show (his last good match) Wrestlemania 21.. he beat JBL for his first ever title.. Wrestlemania 22.. he beat triple h to retain his wwe championship.. wrestlemania 23 he beat HBK to retain his WWE championship.. UNBELIEVABLE! Wrestlemania 24.. how the hell did he come back and earn himself a main event spot right away? Wrestlemania 25.. again.. main eventing for the world title..most likely.. I would rather see him fighting for the brand.. Orton vs Edge would rule! I think Edge would win.. seeing that he's the ultimate opportunist!!

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