Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingGrade-Schooler · 1 decade ago

How do you stop a 6 year old from picking scabs and refusing to wear shoes?

My daughter is constantly picking at scabs from wounds or bug bites and it's turning into a disaster! Not only does she get blood all over her beautiful quilt (which is now stained and starting to come apart after so many washings), my bedding, the couch, papasan chairs, etc, but she also looks a sight! I'm embarrased to take her out with shorts and short sleeve shirts because she looks like she could come from a dirty home. Not only the picking, but she refuses to wear shoes at home (she will put them on when I tell her to, but only to remove them again as soon as my back is turned). She gets her dirty feet all over our bedding and furniture as well. I have nice, expensive furniture and it's getting ruined. (Plus, I'm afraid she is going to cut her feet or step on something dangerous!) We've fought over this for years, I've tried games, and fun ways to get her to remember, as well as rules and punishment for disobeying (such as time outs or no t.v. for a day). NOTHING works!

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Go to the baby department and get the shoe lace locks. Tie her shoe and stick them in the locks so she can't untie them. This alone is embarrassing for her I'm sure.

    Scabs are dried skin and are uncomfortable. Soak her in a tub of hot water (not so hot that it burns!). The warm water will soften the scabs and allow them to come off easily and naturally.

    Try an award system -for each day that she does not pick off the scabs - she gets a star or something. Put it on a chart to track it. Then on the weekend - give her a treat - such as a new small toy or a trip to the park or something that the two of you have decided on.

    Do the same for the shoes. Give her an award for doing what she is suppose to do.

    Punishment rarely works and usually hurts the parent more than the child.

    Make her take baths - frequently - to keep her feet clean.

    Having expensive furniture with children is not wise. Put some covers over your furniture until you can control your child. After all - you are the parent, not her. This is a control issue. If you don't get the child in control now, you are in for a really rough time when she becomes a rebellious teen.

    Perhaps the shoes do not fit or are not comfortable. Try getting her some CROCS or some other kind of shoe that are comfortable. Do you allow her to pick them out? or do you pick them and make her wear them? Could have a factor there.

    perhaps she has some issues that you are not aware of. try taking her to counseling.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't have much help for you for the shoes. Sorry.

    As for the scab picking, we had the same thing with my step daughter. It's slightly better now, although she will occasionally do it still. I really think she was just bored, although she'd never admit it. Also, it is a "weird" thing on your body - to them, it is there to pick at. I tried band-aids as others mentioned - she loved them. I tried punishing. She did it again while being punished. I tried rewards. Didn't matter.

    What we finally did - and I guess I'd suggest it for the shoes, too - is to just resign yourself to sound like a broken record. No matter how mad you get, no matter how awful she looks, just simply say "don't pick" or "shoes please" or whatever. Nothing more, nothing less. You'll say it a bazillion times and be really irritated, but she's bound to stop sooner or later. Either she'll get tired of hearing it all the time or she'll realize it's not a huge issue anymore and it won't get the attention she wants about it.

    I guarantee you she won't get married with scabs all over her body. And in the meantime, she's six. Most people (well, anyone who has been around kids for any length of time) will recognize that kids are constantly dirty and bruised/scraped up and won't judge you on it.

    Good luck and relax!

  • 1 decade ago

    I have no advice about the shoes problem, but about the scabs....My mother used to tell me that I was the same way and we lived in Florida. She said it got to the point where she would wrap my legs in gauze and then put tights on me. Well since it was so hot, I finally stopped scratching them.

    My now 8 year old was the same way also. Instead of gauze, I was making her wear blue jeans in the summer. She seems to be doing better this year, I havent seen a scab on her yet!

  • 1 decade ago

    My daughter was the sae way about shoes... I thought it would never stop. Then one day, it did. She knows it bothers you, therefore she is getting attention. (negative attention is attention) Give up the battle about shoes in the house, tell her she needs to put socks on, or get her slippers for inside. As far as outside and the scabs, show her pictures of super infected sores and tell her that there are tiny little icky bugs that live on the ground and on her dirty hands that will do that to her if she continues. I did this when my daughter wouldn't wash her hands. As far as being embarassed about taking her in public, don't. Kids are always bruised and scrapped up.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Try making up a scary story that will make her want to wear shoes and stop picking scabs. I know that is what my mom did with my brother when he would pick his scabs. She used to tell him that bugs would crawl into the scab holes if he picked the scabs. Good Luck and I hope everything works out.

  • 1 decade ago

    For shoes just have her wear them outside of the house there's no need for them inside. if its dangerous for them to walk on the floor then keep the floor clean. tell her that if she wont wear her shoes outside then you wont take her anywhere fun.

    for scab picking, put a band-aid over it or reward her for when its not picked like her fav food or money or a toy.

  • 4 years ago

    I didn't start trying to put shoes on daughter till she was trying to walk and she too hated them..I would get one on and by the time I got the other on she took the first one off...as she got more independent on walking tho she started getting used to the shoes. I started buying shoes that were hard for her to take off or mess with and now she loves them. She trys to put them on herself and doesn't matter if we go places or not she wants her shoes!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its weird that you seem to be more worried about your daughter ruining your "nice expensive furniture" then about her welfare. You added that you don't want her to cut her feet as an after thought. The fact that your worried that people will think that she comes from a dirty home if they see her scabs is another weird flag. You should be worried about her and helping her, rather than what people think or what is going to happen to your furniture.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her she can't go outside (or whereever she wants 2 go) unless she puts shoes on.

    Put bandaides over the scads or somin....tell her the more she picks @ her scabs the longer they take 2 recover or if u keep picking them they will turn in2 scars (Its happened 2 me)

  • Jack P
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Habenero under the fingernails will stop the scab picking, nose picking, and fingernail biting.

    Refusing to wear shoes, no answer here.

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