Family Divorce, the after math, why do I feel this way?
I would like your thoughts please! My parents were divorced when I was 5 years old, very little memories of that time. I lived with my mother who remarried about a year later to a guy named Tim, he was a pretty good person to me & my mother. They later had 2 boys. I have always felt a little like an outsider with them, to give an example I came hom from school last year and they had a family portrait done...they 4 of them, mom said Tim just wanted one of them and said I hope you understand...I guess I do. My brothers all have college funds...I have loans. It's all the little things that get to me...Tim will always make a point to say call before you come over...I thought it was my house too...am I just a guest? Christmas's, birthday my step brothers always got way more than...Tim & Mom would say that you have a Dad too...to even things out, I haven't seen my Dad in 12 years. He has a family with 2 daughters 1200 miles away...I might get a card every 2-3 years. Am I a whinner?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
First things first, you have every right to be ANGRY.. It looks like you have been treated really unfairly since Tim came along.. I could see the point at Christmas IF you were recieving gifts from your birth father..but since you aren't Tim should step up and be a man.. be a father to you , no different than the two boys.. who should be your brothers..
The family portrait was just down right cruel.. I am so very sorry, I can only imagin how badly that hurt..
As for the loans, girl one day you will be able to say Hey I DID IT ON MY OWN!! that is something you can be proud of.. though again I know it hurts like hell that they thought of the two boys and not your future..
I cannot believe your Mother is a part to it.. its just mean to treat kids differently..
My parents divorced when I was 7, my Step mother and my dad totaly shut my sister and I out of their lives.. I had a serious of abusive 'Uncles' and a step father who beat me..
My heart goes out to you , you need to tell them what you think of it all.. and I think honestly rather than try to sit and talk about it at first i'de write my Mother a letter.. similiar to what you have said here.. tell her how these years have made you feel..
Why a letter? NO ARGUMENT.. she will read it.. re read it and maybe get some sense knocked into her.. She will at the least understand how you feel..
Again i'm sorry they did you this way.. you are NOT a whiner.. they are dead wrong the way they have been with you...
I wish the best for you.. and you don't need that type of abuse..
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
No you are not a whiner. if this Tim guy was any sort of a good person for you and your mom he would take you in as one of his own. especially knowing how little you see your dad. and how you really need a male role model in your life. your mom is just as to blame as Tim though because she should say something or do something. this is rediculously messed up. Tim should have realized when he married your mom that a child came with the deal. and at that point he should have made the decision to be a dad, or at the very least a mentor and good friend, to you or to not marry your mom. I feel very sorry for you man. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was never around except for maybe 3-7 days every 3 or 4 years (when he got out of jail and wanted to make an attempt until he got back onto drugs) I was lucky enough to have a step-dad who became a friend and mentor first and then became my father. I hope that you can get this all worked out. maybe talk to your mom and tell her how you feel see what she says. Good luck =(
- DovahkiinLv 71 decade ago
No you are not a whiner. Those are legitmate reasons why you feel like an outsider. They are treating you like one. They are pathetic. Im sorry you have to deal with this. I know of others who had the same problem. You need to find someone you can build your life with and make your own family, but be prepared for your parents to treat your kids second rate also. Dont put them thru what you went thru.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
No you are not.. Sad but, you should be treated as they treat the boys. It is an unfair life for you. You have to tell your mother how you feel and TIM. Sorry he married your mother knowing she had a child and knew your father wasn't really in the picture he should have been able to treat you like his own....So sorry
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- punkinLv 51 decade ago
You have valid complaints, but what will you do with these lessons learned.Some times we don't get the parents we want ,but that may be in the Creators plan so that your children will come out to be stellar human beings because you will remember the way you were treated and you will treat your children right.Then they will treat their children right and before you know it you will have generations of good people.Watch and see how the other children turn out. Good luck and turn lemons into lemonade.