My fiance...looking at gay porn?

My fiance tends to delete the temporary internet files from our computer. He must have forgotten one time because I found that "someone" typed in the address to a gay porn website...It was either him or his sister who visited for two. I asked him, and he said he wasn't looking at gay porn.

But then today, i was about to enter the living room...He was sitting at the computer, and a full screen video was playing, showing a guy masturbating...He heard me coming, clicked out of it fast, then said hi to me...I was too surprised to say anything so I turned around and acted like I hadn't seen it...and of course, he deleted all of the temporary internet files before he left for work.

What am I supposed to say to him? He just left for work...what should I do when he gets home later tonight?

Lately, he keeps asking me to give him a B.J., but I never do...Is he watching gay porn because I don't him B.J.'s, or is he bi? And if he really is bi...what am I supposed to do?

29 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    The human mind is hopelessly complex. I don't think you can draw any conclusions from this.

    Our society likes to draw bright lines like "gay" and "straight", but I don't think people are as simple as that. I think it is possible that a guy who our society would call "straight" would enjoy looking at pictures of naked men. Maybe it is a projection fantasy. Maybe it is just another way of stimulating the mind. Who knows.

    My advice to you is to get out of the "is something wrong" approach and get into the "how can we communicate better" category. There might be a lot you can discover about each other with this.

    Is there some reason you don't incorporate oral sex into your lovemaking, particularly since he has asked for it? That strikes me as odd. I would spend some time getting your sexual relationship sorted out before getting married. There are some red flags here that need attention.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    I say, as long as he's not completely gay and in denial, I'd say you got lucky, girl!!! *throws confetti* Do you know what I would give to find a nice bi boyfriend I could watch M/M porn with?

  • 1 decade ago

    He must be bi or at least bi curious. His watching that has nothing to do with you giving or not giving oral sex. If he wanted a b.j he wasn't getting then he would watch chicks doing it to guys, not guys doing it to guys. He is deleting the internet files because he does not want anyone else to know what he looks at. Do you delete your files??? I don't because I don't look at anything I am ashamed of, or worried about others seeing. He is interested in guys. You might want to re think this relationship for a few reasons. Eventually he will start acting on his urges and not just looking at them on the internet.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I really can't advise you on this because it is quite weird for a guy to be looking at this kind of porn. Actually when you first said your bf was looking at gay porn I automatically thought it was lesbian porn, cause this is quite normal for guys but for him to be looking at men having sex with each other and regularly too, that's kind of bizarre. I am wondering if he is enjoying this (as in being aroused by this) or if he is comparing himself to these guys. I really don't think it is the latter though because if it was he would be a bit more shy concerning his body but he isn't cause he is asking u 4 BJs, right? I think this is reason for concern, not bcause he is looking at porn but because he views it over and over and more importantly he feels the need to hide this from you. I think you have a real problem, though I think your time to confront him on this was when you caught him at the computer earlier. If you bring this up now he can always say u're dillusional. But I really do think you have to make a concerted effort to clarify things on this matter because you need to know what is going on. Even if he doesn't have a male partner, you need to know if he is having feelings for persons of his same sex. Then u can make the choice to either help him or get out.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your fiance is potentially bi or gay. You need to confront him that you saw him watching the gay porn before this whole thing gets out of hand. and that you know about the temporary files. You need to get down to the bottom of this, no use waiting.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You need to talk to him about this. If he's bi, thats up to u too accept it or walk away but either way, stay safe. But if he's a undercover gay man.......U got real problems boo because thats going to hurt more than him bieng bi. U have to tell him to keep things real with you and let you know. The sooner this is out in the open, the better. I know one thing for sure.......He is NOT a straight man.

    Good Luck sweety.

  • Rita
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Any man or woman that looks at porn is pretty much a pervert.

    Since you're already living together and having sex it's a bad start to a relationship. AND if he is asking for more than you are willing to give, he is not satisfied and will more than likely seek out other avenues to fulfill his desires.

    I myself couldn't trust a man who looked at any kind of pornography. If you aren't enough for him it just won't work.

    Sorry but it doesn't sound like you're in a healthy relationship.

    As to whether he's gay or bi or whatever I cannot answer. Only he can.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi, You do have a dilemma. If it were me I'd want to no before I said, "I do". I would have him sit down with me and very nicely ask him about it. Tell him you saw him looking at it, let him know he can tell you anything and don't react by getting mad and condeming him...If he feels he can tell you the truth then accept it if you really want to know...The best way to find out something is to ask the person and to be direct don't peddle around the problem. You'll not rest easy until you know...Good luck...

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to sit down and have a serious talk. It's possible he's gay and just hasn't admitted it (even to himself) yet. I would definitely put any wedding on hold until he's sure of who he is and you know what you are getting into. At this point I would insist on both of you seeing a therapist and see if you can get to the bottom of it.

  • 1 decade ago

    He's probably bi, strait men don't look at gay porn for pleasure, in fact, anyhting having to do with homsexuality for strait men is repulsive. So... I think you should tell him tyou know what he's doing in a calm voice, tlel him you still accept him, but ask him why he thought he had to hide it from you and have an honest and calm talk...noboy denying anything, nobody raising their voices

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