English language?

The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,

Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation,

It ends.

13 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Great question hunny. I thought you were going to spout off about grammar, this was funny and oh so true. Have a star

  • Duffer
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Excellent! It's nice to see that someone appreciates the language. These days it is all too common to encounter misspelling, 'text-speak' and poor grammar. Yesterday on Breakfast TV a lady from the English Grammar society (or some such) was espousing the dumbing down of our spelling because with all the misspelling, people are obviously finding the language difficult!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I can't make up my mind as to whether this sudden plethora of questions - nearly all in the jokes and riddles section - are as a result of you having just got a new joke book out of the library or perhaps somebody's just given you one and now you're inflicting them on us here ! ! !

  • 1 decade ago

    Sad that you have just copied an e-mail that did the rounds about 2 months ago or more - not impressed with plagarism.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Gotta give it to you, these are some great observations!!

  • Kristi
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Haha... zis must be a jok, but yes it mad me smil, so u got a sta.

  • Will
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    surely toothbrushes should be teethbrushes as you clean more that just one tooth with it?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    very good cheers

    have a *

    it never rains but it pours

    i don't think i will ever understand

    that one

  • 1 decade ago

    THANK YOU... loved that observation!!! star for you

  • 1 decade ago

    i know it makes no sence at all star for you

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