? asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

10點 有關於英文作文hook的問題!

我們要寫一篇贊成或不贊成的文章

譬如說 墮胎好了..如果我不贊成

我可以第一段的hook..用

Have you ever dream of haveing a baby?

I thing Most people did it.

Child is the most precious in our life. Isn't it?

For the reason, I can't understand why they are cruel to kill their baby.

請問 我這樣有離題嗎?

恩恩 順便幫我看一下文法

如果沒有離題 請幫我改一下 怎麼會更好

Thank you so so so so so so so much

Update:

給一樓的大大

為什麼加ed

因為要用現在完成式啊..

I have ever dreamed of having a child.^_^

Update 2:

of 是介係詞 後加動名詞 所以 去e +ing

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    我先幫妳改好如下:

    Have you ever dreamed of having a baby in your life? I think that most of us have. Baby is the most precious gift given by God and we shall put all our efforts taking care of them, nurturing them with patients, and giving them a harmless environment to grow up happily. However, some people decide to let go their babies at the early stage of preganacy. I don't understand why they are so iron-minded to take that action?

    接下來談你的架構,在作文開始的第一段使用hook是很好的作法,它吸引讀者的注意往下閱讀,但請注意,這表示你要盡力在一開始就把最好的內容端出來。

    你一開始採用詢問讀者小問題並且自問自答,但接下來立刻接到自己等一下要談的部分,讀者會比較困惑,不知道你問問題的用意。例如可以加上幾句說明小孩的寶貴及他們是上天的恩賜等等,然後再連到自己對仍然有人要採取墮胎的不解,到這裡首段可以算是主題確定也引人入勝。接下來當然就按照起承轉合的方式繼續寫作文,也要注意都把主題句安排在首句

    至於你的拼字和文法是有一些地方需要做加強,拼字不難解決,文法則是要掌握一些基本時態的變法,還有要注意前後文的時態最好一致,除非你是引用時間不一樣的事物才有需要變化。其他的,雖然你只有短短四句,但我覺得已經是不錯的開始,加油。

    以上解答供你做參考~

    Source(s): Myself
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  • 1 decade ago

    首先要先知道你這篇文章是否有字數上的限制?如果有長短限制,寫作的方式會不一樣。

    你目前寫的並沒有離題,但是感覺不夠精簡有力。如果發展到第二段第三段會比較容易失去力量 ( 失焦 ) 。

    以一篇120-150字的作文為例,,第一段可以這樣寫:

    Have you ever dreamed of having a baby? I believe that most people have. Some even try very hard to win the most precious gift from God. However, there are still some give up their own babies before the little angels are born.

    後面兩句會呈現一種對比。( 用However 這個字就已經稍微暗示你的立場了 )

    接下來的段落就可以表達你自己的意見 ( 贊不贊成 ) 還有舉例。

    通常這兩段會比較長一點,可以盡情發揮。

    文章最怕重複和冗長,破題真的很重要。

    這次你用提問句破題,下次可以試試開門見山法 :P

    I never understand why some people can be so cruel and take the lives of their own unborn babies........

    Keep writing, and you'll be perfect.

    Source(s): myself
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  • 1 decade ago

    Have you ever dreamed of having a baby?

    I think most people have.

    Childrend are most precious in our lives, aren't they?

    For this reason, I don't understand why people kill them before they are even born.

    Source(s): myself
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  • 1 decade ago

    Have u ever dream of heaving a baby?

    I think that most of people did it.

    Children are the most precious gift in our life, aren't they?

    Therefore , I disapprove it (I disagree it)

    (依你的原文改文法)

    Source(s): myself
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  • 1 decade ago

    Have you ever dream of having(是要去e加ing) a baby?

    I thing(thing是事情…think才是想) Most people did it.

    Child is the most precious in our life. Isn't it?

    For the reason, I can't understand why they are cruel to kill their baby.

    改正後----

    Have you ever dream of having a baby?

    I think most of the people did it.

    Child is the most precious in our life, isn't it?

    I can't understand why some people are cruel to kill their baby.

    It’ not humane.

    Source(s):
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