xenypoo asked in Politics & GovernmentMilitary · 1 decade ago

A joke for the military. Will you enjoy it?

God Bless yall.

You know that you have been in Iraq too long when...

1. You call the barracks home.

2. The girl that was a 2 is now a 5.

3. You use words like "roger", "negative", and "say again" in normal


4. You go home for vacation.

5. The girl with the hairy legs and upper lip is the hot one.

6. Card board boxes are your desk.

7. You're over 20 years old and sleeping in a bunk bed.

8. You buy a DVD with 5 movies on it for $5 and feel like you got



9. You don't pause your game because of mortars.

10. You lose weight because "I just can't eat that again."

11. You never know what day it is.

12. Getting a good meal involves a quarter-mile hike.

13. You get called a hippie because your hair is 1 inch long.

14. You're happy when it's ONLY 110 degrees.

15. Going to the bathroom involves shoes, a flashlight, and body armor.

16. Seeing a tank roll past is no longer cool.

17. All your clothes look the same.

18. You don't fix the hole in the crotch of your pants because "it's

good ventilation."

19. You walk into a store with a rifle and nobody cares.

20. Your family knows what's going on before you do.

21. Everything you own fits in a 3 foot by 3 foot area.

22. 80 degrees is cold.

23. A man in a dress doesn't seem wierd.

24. Good sleep is 5 hours.

25. Someone gets shot and you're mad because now the phones will be


26. You've read more books in 3 months than you did in the rest of your


27. You're so bored that you hope someone will start shooting at you


28. You can't pronounce your interpreter's name, so you call him "Bob".

29. You wish that the guy you're searching ONLY had B.O.

30. You hear a boom and you know if it was a mortar or a rocket.

31. After almost being hit by a mortar, you and your buddy start


32. Half of the people you meet are named "Muhammed" or "Ali."

33. You catch three of your buddies watching "The Notebook", and


making fun of them, you sit down and watch.

34. You shower with shoes on.

35. You're so bored that you don't stop your buddy from telling a story

that you've already heard 10 times this week.

36. The snoring around you is "soothing".

37. Listening to the radio is less important than watching the fly


38. The mouse in your area is now a pet.

39. You buy Gold Bond powder in bulk.

40. You can tell the difference between American and Iraqi Pepsi.

41. You hear a familiar rap song, but you don't understand the words.

42. You bet on when and where the next rocket will hit.

43. You feel naked without your rifle.

44. You buy a Rolex that's not a Rolex on purpose.

45. You're happy because you get to shoot at a tailgater.

46. Your favorite food is Cup 'O Noodle.

47. You haven't seen a cloud in months.

48. Your buddies help shave each other's backs.

49. You dream in night vision.

50. The last time you were home you didn't have kids.

51. All you see are trash drifts instead of snow drifts.

52. If you have ever said, "It's not that bad here."

53. Farting is a contest.

54. Everyone you don't know calls you "Mister".

55. You don't notice the 40 lbs of body armor anymore.

56. You know what a "Hesco" is.

57. Privacy is a sheet.

58. You see an E-7 working.

59. A plate that holds food is the "hook-up".

60. You dress up for Halloween in your normal clothes.

61. You spend large sums of money to buy your favorite TV shows on DVD.

62. You rely on the food you get in packages you get from home for


63. All your white socks are now tan.

64. You go to the Port-O-John to get away from the smell outside.

65. You wear your clothes for four days to save on wash time.

66. You know your friends by smell.

67. The sight of a man's naked but is no longer alarming.

68. You have ever yelled, "Who took the last can of Beanie-Weenies?"

69. You don't need an interpreter to understand your interpreter.

70. You will put your life on the line to get a good picture.

71. You buy an Airsoft pistol because the Army won't give you a real


72. You have huge speakers that you never use.

73. Your wife asks you what time it is there and you answer,



74. You really would kill for Burger King.

75. The last forest you were in was a camo net.

76. You set booby traps for the foxes in your area.

77. You take bets on what gridline the next IED will explode.

78. When it feels good to patrol the MSR just to get off the FOB.


I know it's kind of long, but the longer, the longer your laughter, I hope.

Update 2:

A few of you are right about this joke. I questioned whether or not to post it, being that some of it is sad. My Major friend in the Marines asked me to, so I did.

10 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    My husband is there now.. and THANK YOU for the laugh... it really improved my day a litte. Humor is my favorite way of dealing with everything This actually helped

  • dude
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Funny except for these two:

    2. The girl that was a 2 is now a 5.

    50. The last time you were home you didn't have kids.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I have two buddies there one in the Navy and one in the Army well the Army one isn't there yet I don't believe.

    I think they would laugh though

  • 1 decade ago

    It's funny because it's its true. I have been there and done that. What's realy bad are the jokes we say when we are there.

    Source(s): Me - Iraq, afganistan, kosovo and to many other places to mention. !4yrs active duty and still going strong.
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  • 1 decade ago

    This a joke that is sad and funny at the same time.

  • 1 decade ago

    thats pretty true. I'm not going to ever be parted with my rifle.

  • tuxey
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i have a son over 'in the sandbox', so, while i couldn't laugh (it's a tense time, right now), it did make me smile, a bit....(and i copied it, to send to him, as well.....)


  • 1 decade ago

    So true/

    Source(s): OIF Vet 2004
  • 1 decade ago

    thats really not that funny to anyone who has a loved one there

  • 1 decade ago

    Thanks, I'll pass it on!

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