How do we tell the family?
So my long time boyfriend recently asked me to marry him. The trouble is we don't know how to tell our families. We are young, I'm 18 and he's 19. We're not even planning on getting married until after I've graduated from college. Its not really my family that we are having problems telling. His side of the family is a little judgmental. So does anyone have any ideas on how to tell our family? Thanks!
I would like serious answers please without being RUDE about it!! Like I said before, we are NOT getting married yet.
- tllLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
I got engaged at 18 and we had only been together for 2months...Most people thought we were crazy, but it was an "I KNOW" case...we did wait 2 1/2 yrs before marriage though! It was hard to let our families know that we wanted to get engaged, but we told them and just said yes, we know the proper thing to do would be to wait to get married, but we want the commitment to be stronger than boyfriend/girlfriend so thats why we want to get engaged early! Well...we have now been married for almost 3yrs and we have a child together.....You just have to let both families know that you are serious and even though you plan to wait you want to have a strong commitment to eachother!
Good Luck and dont stress about it!
- 1 decade ago
If there are issues which make you hesitant to tell those who love you the most about a life changing decision, you need to take the time and make sure you are on a path that is right for you both.
If you still believe this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then share this with your family. If the two of you are truly happy, they will come to realize your relationship is real and will withstand the trials which will come your way. Don't deny them the chance to share in your happiness.
Also, the longer you wait, the harder it gets, which leads to avoiding family members, which leads to unhappiness, which will lead to arguments and strife in your relationship with your partner...etc..... sounds like you already have a full plate, don't put more on it!
I wish you all the best!
- dohm84Lv 41 decade ago
I was 20 when my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I was so excited but I didn't know how to tell my mom. She liked him a lot but I was her baby out of 6 kids and it was all so sudden. We never talked about it so it was a total surprise to me when he asked me. I was on day 2 and I still didn't know how to tell her. I was doing laundry and I had some shirt sitting on the back of the living room couch. As I went to pick them up my brothers soon to be wife got a glimpse at the ring and said in her most innocent voice, "Oh is that your engagement ring its so pretty" and as I said, "Shhhhh and gave her the "eye" she continued to say, "Let me see it". My mother was sitting right next to her. My mom said, "Whatttttt??" not in a mad way but in a confused way. I was like, "Umm mom Austin asked me to marry him". She was very happy and accepting of it. We got married a week later...lol
Then a year later we had a wedding with friends and family and it was the best day of my life.
Just be honest with them. If they love him they will understand.
- Very HonestLv 51 decade ago
Never mind the nonsense of telling the families. Focus on the fact that if you get married at such a young age, you will definitely have a problem as time goes by.
YOUR TOO YOUNG! DO YOU KNOW, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED GROWING UP? DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOUR LIFE IS GOING, CAREER, ETC.? DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE MAKING A COMMITMENT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER, TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?
WHY? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MAKE THAT COMMITMENT AND ALL THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT IT COMES WITH WHEN YOU COULD JUST ENJOY LIFE TOGETHER, WITHOUT GETTING MARRIED. AT YOUR AGE YOU WILL EVENTUALLY FEEL TRAPPED, BECAUSE THEN YOU BECOME PREGNANT AND THAT'S WHEN YOU GIVE UP THE LIFE THAT YOU NEVER EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO MEET. THAT'S WHEN THE GUY FEELS TRAPPED AND THAT'S WHEN HE TAKES OFF. THIS HAPPENS EVERY MINUTE AND THE DIVORCE RATE IS SKY ROCKETING!
NOW YOU'RE A SINGLE MOTHER WITH A MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY, FINANCIALLY IN DEBT. WITH NO JOB. AND THAT'S WHEN YOUR FAMILIES WILL JUST SHAKE THEIR HEADS, SAYING "I TOLD YOU"
RELAX. YOU HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO DO, BEFORE YOU SHOULD EVEN CONSIDER MARRIAGE. MARRIAGE SHOULD BE LATE 20's, EARLY 30's. LIVE A FREE FABULOUS LIFE BEFORE THAT!
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Whoah! Hold on...you can "plan" to get married all you want, you are a long way from there yet. I would write it in my diary and SHUT UP about until you have both been sure for a year (or two). THEN you can go to your parents and say, we made this decision a year ago and we have not changed our minds. Your family will respect that a lot more than they will a couple of teenagers making a huge life decision on a whim.
- gypsy gLv 71 decade ago
Its just an engagement, tell them that you are engaged. Don't say we plan on getting married. That sounds sooner than later.
Or don't tell them at all. You don't have to mention it until 1 year prior to the set wedding date.
- 1 decade ago
Acyually 18 and 19 is quite young an age to be getting married-but if you are prepared for a lifelong commitment and can run your own home - are mature enough to run it financially and emotionally - explain your sense of responsibility to his side of family and substantiate by your actions too - so they are sure - because family may only be wanting that he should be mature enough. Talk to them how you plan to meet your expenses, manage your family and if they can see that you are capable enough , i am sure they won't have a problem.
- 1 decade ago
just talk to the family
if they love you they will understand that you love him and you 2 are getting married NO matter what
- 1 decade ago
For the Timing you can do Engagement,Complete your Study Find the right job,And then you plan for Marriage.Bless you
- 1 decade ago
my family was the same
go i went and got married at the court house than went and told them i was married thay couldnt do anyhting coz was already married