Married/Committed Women and Sex?
Does your man complain about not having sex often enough? Do you ever find that you're just not in the mood, and that you're just not in the mood a lot? I wish I did a better job of satisfying my fiance. Just looking for hints, tips or opinions...
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I have discovered that when in long term relationships I have bouts with "not being in the mood".
What I have learned is its kind of like not wanting to wake up...but once you are up its ok...Well same with sex. You may not be "in the mood" but trust me...if you do it, you will like it!
I had to explain to my boyfriend that I am not always in the mood but if he could get through my lack of enthusiasm and be the one to initiate the sex...I would be ok after a while.
I think you will too. We work hard and life gets us tired..but a little of the good stuff and you will be ok.:-)
- googlebuggLv 41 decade ago
My husband complains of that constantly.
The more he complains the less I want to have sex or even try to get in the mood.
When we do have sex its use the lube because I'm not in the mood enough and wam bam thank you ma'am.
Sorry too much info?
Well he came home with a quote from a men's health magazine saying that something like 70% of men have a better sex life after getting married than when they were single. His point was that there must be something wrong with us because he was feeling like his sex life was not better.
So I asked him, is your sex life better? right away he said no.
then i asked him how often did you have sex before you met me and before we got married?
He thought about it a minute and said, "ok yeah, my sex life is better now."
I think most men believe that since they are married, they will get sex every day or sheesh more than once a day. And they don't get that, so they think they don't have enough sex, even though they are having more than when they were single.
And by comparison, us women believe, we're getting married! we're going to be romanced and woo'd every day! And does that happen at all? Hardly. At least not for most women i talk to and myself.
It seems if my man can go a few days without complaining he isn't having enough sex, I want him more and will make the move on my own. Too bad he can't understand that, he might get more sex!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
i went through that for the last 2 years of my relationship with my man (we've been together for 7 years). we would only have sex about once a week becuase i just couldn't get in the mood. the last couple months i've changed my attitude completely. even if i don't feel like it i'll initiate sex anyway. a couple minutes later i'm so turned on that not having sex just isn't an option. also, you need to feel sexy. dress up for your man and yourself. you look good you feel good. another thing you can do is try new things in the bedroom or go back to the kinkiness of when you first started getting it on with him. be diverse and you'll enjoy it more and want it more. i hope this helps. since i've changed my attitude i went from once a week to every day. i can't get enough of my sexy delicious man
- 1 decade ago
I've been in my relationship for almost 2 years now and I'm only 20 years old and I definitely do NOT have enough sex. I can relate with just not being in the mood but sometimes when I am, he's not. It gets really frustrating that we're both not on the same page when it comes to sex. If you ever read the columns in Cosmo, they really do help and make sense! I try not to get my advice from magazines but the recent issue of Cosmo talks about ways of feeling closer to your man and how to be in sync when it comes to being frisky. Communication is key. Let him know this is bothering you and tell him you want to make it better but you need his help and his support. Don 't make it seem like it's your fault and your problem, it's a working issue that will be resolved. Good luck to you!Source(s): Get the July 2007 issue of Cosmo. It has great tips on issues like this. OR, better yet, go to cosmo.com
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- 1 decade ago
Yes, as a general rule, he's way more in the mood than I am, throughout our 11 years married. There were times when I just didn't care and couldn't care, like when we had infants...but there are lots of times when I don't want to disappoint....and I've had to really put myself in the mood. Dress cute, think sexy all day long, think of how I"m going to be sexy for him, and it's much much easier to 'be in the mood.' Besides, usually, even if I'm not in the mood and I force myself to get in the mood, I almost ALWAYS feel good, enjoy myself etc....it's important to him, and don't you want to make him happy?
- GirlinNBLv 61 decade ago
It happens once you are feeling fulfilled in the relationship and don't need / want sex to feel that feeling. Understand?? lol. Little confusing the way I put it, but oh well. I am the same way and will even lie about being sick, etc so I don't have to go through with sex. It isn't that my man isn't a turn on because he really is, just I don't need to have him in me to feel complete. Weird, but true.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I don't have this problem. I am almost always in the mood 99% of the time. Why? Because he makes me feel like I am the sexiest woman he has ever been with. Because he tells me every day how much he loves me. Because he tells me every day how lucky he feels to be my husband. This gives me a lot of confidence.
We hug and kiss every day. I send him off to work with a healthy home cooked meal, a hug and kiss and I tell him to have a nice day, and to be safe. And I mean every word of it. When he comes home, he gets a hug and kiss along with a nice home cooked meal. We do our own thing (him on the internet paying bills, me cleaning up). We go out for a walk and play with our kids. After the kids are asleep, I give him BJ and..... if anything, he sometimes have to turn me down because he is too tired from work. I am very understanding. So, sometimes, it's just BJ for him and I'll get some the next day.
For us, it's important to make each other feel sexy, loved and wanted. I lust after my husband. I tell him so everyday. I tell him how much I want him and what I want to do with him. I dress in sexy lingerie for him. It also makes me feel sexy (I am a size 6). We watch porn and re-act the scenes. We role play (he is an excellent stripper, I also get very turned on when he speaks with a foreign accent). I bring food to the bedroom (chocolate sauce, whipped cream, etc..). We make love in any and all of the rooms in our home, in the car, on top of the cars and outdoors. We have some toys but have not really used it much. I plan to seduce him every other month. Why? Because he is worth making plans and it makes him feel very important.
We have been together almost 20 years. This works for us. We talk every day and we are very honest with each other. There is a lot of mutual respect. Sex and mood is just part of our talks. We talk about finances, family, friends, other people's relationship problems and if it affects us and how.
Good luck to you.
- Simply LovelyLv 61 decade ago
When you work all day at a job, and I am talking, even an office job, by the end of the day, you just don't want to anything. Occasionally my husband is too tired and I get like that too. The important thing is that whn you are together, make it worth it.
- MeLv 41 decade ago
If you want to boost your own sexual desire I suggest working out. For some reason when I work out it makes me want it more often. It will also give you a confidence boost. Watch or read a steamy movie or book. Spice things up by taking it outside, or somewhere new. Be spontaneous. The more you have it the more you'll want it.Source(s): Good luck!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Kudos for you at least trying. My wife couldn't care less. If her needs and chores aren't taken care of there is hell to pay. Mine take a backseat. I work 10 days a month, 24 hour shifts, watch three kids and do housework 20 days a month and SHE'S the one who is tired! Good luck!