Can you really be in love with two men?

I really need help on this one. I've been really depressed for awhile now and I had a dream the other night that kind of put it in perspective. It was about my high school boyfriend that I haven't seen in about 10 years. Seems strange but it is wonderful and sickening to feel that I may be in the wrong relationship. I have actually been sick to my stomach for the past couple of days knowing what has actually been causing my depression. I love the man I am with but am I in love? I remember how comfortable I felt with the other man and how much we shared. We grew and learned together and I trusted him like nobody else. Please help me! I don't know if maybe I should just contact him to see if there is even anything worth worrying over. But I feel like if I don't then I just may never know what could really be.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    It doesn't really sound like love in my opinion. I think curiousisty is driving you up a wall. It's commonfor someone to recall great past events when they feel their lives aren't exactly what they had hopped. I wouldn't consider making contact with this guy a bad thing but I suggest you don't keep the man you're with in the dark. If you've been in your current relatinoship a long time you might just be getting nervous thinking "can i really be this happ this long with someone?" keep in mind too it sounds like you only have good memories with this other guy which is great but no one is perfect keep that in mind.

  • 1 decade ago

    I truely believe there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. If you haven't seen your ex since 10 years ago, you shouldn't be thinking about him. It is possible that you still love your ex. The reason for you thinking you may be in love with him still, is because of the comfort zone you felt when around him. People seem to stick to what they know and like. You should definitely get out of the circle of things with your ex. (Listen to Marques Houston's song called "Circle" it describes exactly this situation). It's hard to get away from someone you felt so at ease with. Also, depending on the length of time you were with the person. It took me 3 and a half years to get over a 6 year relationship with my ex. Am I still in love with him after all these years? No. Do I love him today? No. He will always be in my memories and part of who I am and became is due to him so he'll always have a spot in my heart but I'm out of that circle with him. My policy is never go back. You don't become an ex for nothing. If things didn't work out while were together as a couple no sense and going back and trying to light up old flames. Because if you love someone or something and you let it go, then it comes back to you that's how you know it was meant to be.

    It shouldn't be making you sick or depressed. As easy as it is to fall in love with someone it is just as easy to fall out of love with them. Think hard and long before you take a risk on a man you haven't seen in 10 years...people change. And realize who you have in your life today and how much they mean to you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, I think there's a lot you have to consider.

    First thing is first, however: did you make a promise to the man you're currently with? Are you exclusive? If you are, maybe you need to sit down with him and explain to him that you're feelings are not truly committed to him (Honestly, they aren't and you know it...).

    Secondly, I think it's quite common to still have feelings for old flings. I still have some emotional "feel goods" about people I dated in the past - it's completely normal. But there was a reason you split up, there was something that you felt made the person incompatible for a life partner. Sometimes situations change, but usually the emotions do not.

    I have a great friend that I absolutely adored. I'll never forget her, she was the best thing to happen to me at a certain time in my life. Time went on, however, and she went her way and I went mine. Eventually I met my wife, who I have a profound relationship with. Did I love the other woman? Of course I did, but it didn't develop into anything that I now have with my wife...

    and if my wife ever asks? I lie my *** off and tell her nothing was ever there...because I want to stay married to my wife :P

  • 1 decade ago

    you have the man you love...what are you vying for...chill tha twhat just a dream...and you are not with him for a reason

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  • 1 decade ago

    no you can only love one man. and make sure that if you end up with one.. that you are sure in your choice

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe lust but not love

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    its not love, like most its a fake thing,, sad.... i think we use another word for it? u know

  • 1 decade ago

    could be lust or affection, but definately not LOVE

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