Narcissist and/or Sociopath?

I am just now learning about the narcissist and sociopath personalities. After a 15 year relationship (6 years married) the light is coming on. My questions are .. is a sociopath always violent? (my husband is not - he's just selfish and shows no real emotion, prefers to play computer games and nap rather than earn a living and still finds a way to manipulate me into feeling like I can help him or that I need to stay to take care of him. - and yes, I know, he can't "make" me feel guilty or responsible but ..). Also, can anyone tell me your experience with LEAVING someone who is a narcissist/non-violent sociopath??

My question may be a little vague - I didn't provide many details - but I didn't want to go on and on .. if you can answer this question from experience, you'll know who you are... ;-)

15 Answers

Relevance
  • Favorite Answer

    I don't see that it does you any good to "diagnose" him. Just move on, move out, step up.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    In my personal experience, a sociopath is USUALLY violent, but can also be controlling and domineering without violence.

    Your experience with leaving him will be very similar to going through the stages of grief. You will feel guilty, you will be angry, you will go through a phase of self directed anger, where you wonder why you wasted so much time on him, eventually, you will find relief. Then you can move towards peace.

    The best advice I can give you, though, is that you need to take the time to make sure that you are emotionally healthy and strong again before you start another relationship, especially after 15 years of catering to a narcissist.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Sondra
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Great question! The sociopath is a very clever liar who is manipulative. He realizes your feelings, but doesn't really care. There is limited guilt and remorse and these people have a hard time holding on to jobs. The Narcissist is a self-absorbed braggart and usually well accomplished. These people are high achievers, but critical and nit-picky of others. They're stingy, not fun to be around, and real sensitive to being critized. The universe revolves around them and what they say goes. Both can be be liars, sneaks and cheaters, although the sociopath is a smooth talking liar. Both have the ability to be abusive to women, but the sociopath feels less guilty about it.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 4 years ago

    Alzheimers disease normally starts hitting around after 60 years of age (depending on the circumstances - ie: boxers may suffer with early onset, before 60 years of age). Anyone is likely to suffer from this disease as age increases. Dementia may be predispositioned, or through a traumatic event... there are many ways dementia can occur. I believe researching what sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists are may give you a stronger sense of what the symptoms are and the descriptions of the behaviors done. If you can't find anything, possibly speaking with a clinical/abnormal psychologist may be your best option.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A sociopath is not necessarily violent. The behavior that you described doesn't necessary mean that your husband is a sociopath, and there may not be any clinical problem with him at all. He may just be selfish and lazy, which are rotten personality traits, but definitely nothing that falls in the realm of psychology. Still, you both might benefit from therapy (but especially him).

    Source(s): PhD in Psychology, in progress.
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Sociopaths simply have no connected human feeling - other people are not "real" and their feelings, pain, discomfort and so on are never regarded as an issue or as "real."

    They don't always get violent, but they have no reason not to and may at any time no matter what they have done previously, if it suits their whim.

    It's rare to find a true PURE sociopath.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Sociopaths are not always violent. They can be captains of industry, or seem like real leaders. Pick up a copy of the book below. And then get some help. Good luck.

    Source(s): The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout, PhD
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    You leave when you finally realize you can't help a blind man see......

    Narcissist/non-violent or sociopath, does it really matter?

    Call it what you dear in-please....

    If your well aware of the manipulation then You let yourself be manipulated..Your only guilty in the court or GODS laws and not of or within a personal belief..."guilt trips" with guilty conciseness...Take or leave it, feed it to believe....

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Ok first off - to have those personality disorders, you have to be diagnosed by a professional - they are mental conditions - your husband isn't necessarily either of them, he could just be selfish, manipulative and lazy because you have let him all these years...it could be your lack of a backbone to stand up to his behavior when it started.

    Point is, don't label.

    If you are finally fed up, get into counseling so that you will be prepared to deal with any emotional mudslinging that goes on, and to help you grow strength to be on your own after all this time.

    It doesn't take someone with a mental disorder, proven or unproven, for a divorce to get ugly.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Sean C
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I don't have my DSM IV in front of me (I actually do have one) it sounds like, if anything from the details givien, that he may have symptoms of depression.

    In simple terms, narcism is the "my poop don't stink" attitude.

    (am I correct in saying this Doc Sleepsheepnyc?)

    narcism and sociapathic don't nessecarily mean violence, however there is a potential in indaviduals with socipathy to become violent because of their perceptions of reality and right and wrong. Like scizophrenia, Hollywood gave sociapath a tottally different meaning. Scizohrenics don't have multiple personalities! That's actaly called Dissosociative Identity disorder, and cases like DI disorder, there are more than 2 distict personalities.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I have been with exactly the same person. We broke up after 8 years. We were engaged to be married but he changed his mind and wanted "to be boyfriend and girlfriend" for the rest of our lives. He was a leech, he refused to work and all he did was sit in front of the computer. As far as emotion, it was like living with Spock. He discouraged anything I did of my own volition. He made me feel like I had to fight for him to stay with me because he could just walk out at any moment and not be affected. He made me feel like less of a person because it made him feel superior. I lived like this for 8 years, thinking I had to. It was an emotional black hole, and he never changed. I threw him out and sent him to his mother, because that's what he wanted, not a wife. I never shed a tear and I only wish I had left him sooner. Don't tolerate manipulation. You deserve honesty and unconditional love. Saying good-bye will be easier than you think. You'll feel empowered and his words will have lost their hold on you.

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.