I Have Proof My Wife Cheated On Me. Do I Show Her?

My wife has been cheating on me for the past two months. I have some proof printed out that shows she was with a whole slew of guys.Various pictures, emails, etc.

Do I show her all this stuff now? Should I take it to marriage counseling with me tomorrow? Or do I hold it for the divorce court?


We have two girls also, ages 5 & 3. This makes it harder to run out & get a divorce. Especially if a judge still rules in her favor as a defendant. Then I'm out of luck in custody. I love my girls very much and do not want a court to tell me I can only be a weekend dad, while she gets to bring the girls to whoever's house and get in the sack with (Insert guy of the day here).

81 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I do not envy you in this situation. When children are involved it makes things way harder. Staying in possibly a loveless relationship is just as bad on your children. They need positive role models (and it doesn't sound like your wife is that) but seeing mom and dad not in a loving relationship can affect a child too. You need to do what ever is best for your children. It sounds like your wife is not even thinking her family, only her own needs. I don't feel any amount of counseling is gonig to help, you've been betrayed and that will always be in your mind, the trust is gone. I would meet with a divorce lawyer and figure out your options. Let your lawyer take care of the pictures, that could be good evidence in your favor for custody. You can tell you know she has been cheating and you want a divorce, but don't let her know you have pics until the divorce proceedings. Hope everything works out.

  • 1 decade ago

    God doesn't believe in divorce. Your wife is committing adultery before the eyes of gods this is not grounds for divorce. Let god deal with her and just worry about your little girls. Do what's bests for them...I know and understand that is very hard to do, but if you want try counseling.

    The reason why I tell you this I already went through this two years ago and I regret having the courts decide when I can see my kids. I have two girls and a boy. Good luck and try keeping a cool head.

  • 1 decade ago

    My brother, if you really love your wife and the kids just forgive her of her sins and go on with your life. Who knows perhaps you had cheated her in your previous birth and this is the time for her to retaliate so to speak.

    The point I want to put across is the fact that nothing happens by chance and that you got married to the lady because the two of you have karmic accounts to settle between yourselves and it is for this reason why the drama cycle brought the two of you together so that you can settle your karmic accounts.

    Do show her the pictures but assure her that notwithstanding her amorous relationships you still loved her but you would plead that she stopped flirting around at least for the sake of the children.

    I am of the view that nine out of ten of both the men and women you see around cannot be classified as being perfect so throwing her out will not solve the problem and you might end up getting someone who is even worse than the former.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I wouldn't show her the evidence you have, until you go to court (if that's what you decide to do), BUT do mention this in your marriage counseling, and see if she will admit to it or not.

    If you do decide you want to get a divorce (which I would, but is completely up to you), I'd get the best lawyer you can afford, and continue to build evidence against her.

    What state do you live in!? In some states, you can get custody of the children, if you have damning evidence of her unfaithfulness, and especially if you show that you were trying to make the marriage work by going to counseling. ALSO, you may even be able to get other things AND child support.

    So sorry you are going through this crap! I wouldn't wish this on anyone, especially when there are innocent children involved. Best of luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Do you want to stay married? Confront her now and suggest counseling. If she denies and refuses, then move on to the next step. Are you able to provide for your little girls? Let her be the weekend mom. If you can prove infidelity, and can prove you would be a better parent for the babies, then the court WILL give you custody. Consult lawyer and get all of the facts before you make your final decision. Good luck and God bless.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You feel hurt and humiliated and you would like to pay her back but do not show her what you have in evidence. If you really want to get out of the marriage, go to a lawyer and tell him you do not want to be a weekend Dad. Your children should be foremost in your mind because you do not want them around someone like your cheating wife. It is probably too late to tell you not to take it to marriage counseling, just find a lawyer so you know your rights, or you will end up paying her alimony and child support while she does the things she wants to do anyway. She obviously does not care what you think - so the children should be your concern. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    1) you will end up divorcing her. you can't regain trust after that and there is no reason you should try

    2) a woman that cheats on that level has given up discretion and getting caught is just the final chapter before the divorce

    3) protect your legal side with a good attorney, spend your money wisely there and you will save $$$$ on the south end of the marriage.

    4) you are not wrong to divorce, marriage is a sanctity of trust and once that has been violated, it will never be the same. Only you can decide but my betting money would be on you getting a divorce within under 18 months.

    Source(s): cheating isnt a gender issue, but its wrong no matter which side of the hurt you are on
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Why are you even considering counseling she is not going to say the truth anyway she will deny it all your proof will suit your purpose of getting custody of your kids best in court if you must so the counseling thing it will look good in court dont show all your cards just enough to gain the sympathy of the counselor and show her true colors keep the rest for court you desearve better than what she has to offer its woman like that that turn men into d#$%heads for the rest of us to pick up the pieces they disassembled to begin with what goes around does come around its sad to say but I will bet she will end up with 6 kids 4 different daddy's

  • 1 decade ago

    DO NOT SHOW HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Let me tell you why, Obviously there are a-lot of very important details that are left out. I'm assuming (dangerous ground here :-)

    that the two of you are going to marriage counseling . Bring up to the counselor that you would like to have the opportunity to lie everything on the table. Come clean, that there truly is a heart felt desire to begin a new foundation in your marriage. Obviously you have to be honest within yourself if you really do. No matter the circumstance (injury to you) As a man you are to lead, show what it means to be a man of Integrity. Your love & faithfulness is something you thought worthy of. Show your vulnerability sharing how you were wrong in things, expose your faults with the strength knowing you at least can be truthful to yourself before God. She is only woman. She is not your God. Your faithfulness came from a promise my friend. Then allow her the same opportunity to expose her faults. You are fortunite, you have evidence. I do believe then you will know if your marriage is worth fighting for

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Skip the counseling. Hang on to your stuff for divorce court and if you have what you say you have ~ I'll bet the judge will award you custody!!

    Good Luck ...

    PS Staying in a relationship like you have now hurts the little girls more than you know. They are not stupid ... there's friction in the air and they feel it and see it (lack of hugs and kisses etc between u and "her").

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